Groom's Parents On Wedding Invitation: Include Or Not?

Wedding invitation wording can be tricky, especially when it comes to including the names of the groom's parents. Traditionally, only the bride's parents were included in the invitation, as they were typically the ones hosting and financially responsible for the wedding. However, times have changed, and now it is common for multiple sets of parents or even the couple themselves to host and fund the wedding. So, what is the etiquette when it comes to including the groom's parents on the invitation?

Jewish wedding invitations often include the groom's parents

Jewish wedding invitations are often a way for couples to share their Jewish values with their guests and add meaning to their special day. While there is no wrong way to word a Jewish wedding invitation, there are several traditions that couples may choose to follow. One such tradition is to include the names of both sets of parents on the invitation. This emphasises the familial unity of the couple and celebrates the role of the family in the wedding celebration.

For example, a Jewish wedding invitation may read:

> "(Parents of the groom) request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter (bride's name) and (groom's name), son of (parents of the groom)."

Alternatively, the invitation may be worded as follows:

> "Together with their parents, (name of bride/groom) and (name of bride/groom) joyously invite you to celebrate their wedding day on the first of (Hebrew month), corresponding to (secular date)."

Including the names of both sets of parents on a Jewish wedding invitation is a way to honour and involve parents in the wedding planning process. It is also a way to acknowledge the emotional and spiritual impact of their child's wedding, as it is a profound moment of letting go and a recognition that one's son or daughter is no longer a child and is ready to commit to an adult partnership.

In addition to including the names of both sets of parents, Jewish wedding invitations typically emphasise joy and celebration rather than solemnity or formality. It is also common to use the word "and" between the names of the couple instead of "to", and to list the Hebrew date and include Hebrew translations.

Bride's parents traditionally pay, so are included

When it comes to wedding invitation wording, tradition states that the bride's parents are the hosts and are thus named at the top of the invitation. This is the case even if the groom's parents are contributing financially. However, including the names of both sets of parents as hosts is a gracious and increasingly common option, regardless of who is footing the bill.

If the bride's parents are hosting, the invitation might begin with a line such as "Mr. and Mrs. Christopher and Sarah Williams request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Bride, to Groom, son of Mr. and Mrs. James and Elizabeth Smith" including the groom's parents' names in this way is a nice way to acknowledge them, although it is not necessary if they are not hosting.

If both sets of parents are hosting, the invitation might start: "Mr. and Mrs. Christopher and Sarah Williams, together with Mr. and Mrs. James and Elizabeth Smith, request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children, Bride and Groom".

If the couple is hosting, the invitation can simply state the names of the couple, or begin with a line such as "Together with full hearts, Bride and Groom invite you to share in their joy".

In summary, while the bride's parents are traditionally listed on the invitation as hosts, it is becoming more common to include both sets of parents, regardless of who is paying. If the groom's parents are not included as hosts, it is still possible to acknowledge them by including their names after the groom's. Ultimately, the decision is a personal one and there are many ways to word a wedding invitation to honour both sides of the family.

Groom's parents can be included if they contribute

Including the groom's parents on a wedding invitation is a tricky topic. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the ones hosting and paying for the wedding, so they are the ones to be included on the invitation. However, times have changed, and now it is common for the groom's parents to contribute to the wedding financially. In this case, it is customary to include the names of the parents who are paying the largest proportion at the top of the invitation, with the names of the other set following. This is a polite and proper thing to do if the groom's parents are contributing to your big day.

Some couples don't like the formality of traditional wedding invitation etiquette and choose to include the names of both sets of parents at the top of the invite, listing them as the 'hosts' of the day. This is a great way to avoid any interfamily politics in the lead-up to your wedding.

Jewish wedding invitations often include a line under the groom's name, saying "son of Mr. and Mrs.", implying that the groom's parents are contributing or simply being recognised. This is a good way to be inclusive while still acknowledging the role of the bride's parents.

If you are self-funding your wedding, you may not want to include the names of any parents on the invite, which is also perfectly fine. In this case, it is appropriate to name only the bride and groom.

Remember, what you include on your wedding invitation is a personal choice that should be made by the bride and groom, considering their family's preferences and dynamics.

Self-funded weddings may exclude all parents

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many considerations to make. One question that often arises is whether to include the groom's parents on the invitation, especially if the wedding is self-funded. While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, here are some thoughts on the matter.

Traditional Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Traditionally, wedding invitations are issued by the hosts, who are usually the ones paying for the wedding. In this case, it is common to include the names of the bride's parents on the invitation, followed by a request for the pleasure of the guest's company at the marriage of their daughter to the groom. This format emphasizes the role of the bride's parents in hosting and financing the event.

Involving the Groom's Parents

When the groom's parents are not hosting or contributing financially, their names are typically omitted from the invitation. However, some couples may choose to include "son of Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's Parents' Names]" after the groom's name as a way to honour and acknowledge them. This practice is not as common and may be considered unnecessary by some.

Self-Funded Weddings and Parental Exclusion

In the case of self-funded weddings, the couple pays for the wedding themselves and acts as the hosts. In this scenario, it is entirely acceptable to exclude all parents, including the bride's and groom's, from the invitation. This approach emphasizes the couple's independence and their desire to plan the wedding according to their own vision and preferences. It also avoids any potential confusion about who is hosting or paying for the event.

Navigating Family Dynamics

While excluding all parents from the invitation is an option, it is important to consider family dynamics and sensitivities. In some cases, parents, especially the groom's mother, may feel slighted or hurt if they are not included. This is a personal decision that depends on the couple's relationship with their parents and their desire to honour or include them in the wedding traditions. One way to navigate this is to involve parents in other aspects of the wedding planning or to acknowledge them in the wedding programme.

Practical Considerations

When deciding whether to include the groom's parents on the invitation, it is essential to consider the length and complexity of the wording. Including additional names and phrases may make the invitation appear cluttered or confusing. It is also worth noting that some older relatives may appreciate the traditional wording, while younger guests are less likely to pay attention to such details.

In conclusion, while there are no hard and fast rules, self-funded weddings may exclude all parents from the invitation to emphasize the couple's autonomy and modern approach to wedding planning. Ultimately, the decision should consider family dynamics, personal preferences, and the overall tone and style of the wedding.

Multiple hosts can be listed to avoid interfamily politics

Wedding invitation wording can be tricky, especially when multiple sets of parents are involved. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and are listed at the top of the invitation, but nowadays, it's not uncommon for multiple sets of parents or the couple themselves to be listed as hosts.

Including multiple hosts on the invitation is a great way to avoid interfamily politics and acknowledge the contributions of both families. This approach is especially useful when the groom's parents are contributing financially or when you want to include them without diminishing the role of the bride's parents.

For example, in Jewish wedding invitations, it is common to include a line under the groom's name, such as "son of Mr. and Mrs.", which recognises the groom's parents while still indicating that the bride's parents are hosting. Similarly, in many European countries, each set of parents is printed in the two top corners of a folded wedding invitation, and Middle Eastern weddings often feature both sets of parents at the top.

When including multiple hosts, it is customary to list the names of the parents contributing the most financially at the top, followed by the names of the other set of parents. However, if both sets of parents are contributing equally, you may choose to list both sets of names before the couple's names or use a more modern approach by listing all parents as 'hosts' at the top of the invitation.

Ultimately, the decision on how to word your wedding invitations is a personal one and should be made by the couple, taking into account their families' preferences and contributions.

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