Delivering Wedding Invites: A Guide To Getting It Right

Wedding invitations are a crucial part of wedding planning, setting the tone for the entire event. While modern invitations can be more casual, reflecting the style of the wedding, certain etiquette rules remain. These include the information listed on the invitation, such as full names, time, date, and address, as well as the addressing and assembly of the envelopes. One important consideration is postage, as wedding invitations often require additional postage due to their weight and embellishments like wax seals or ribbons. To ensure timely delivery, it's recommended to hand-deliver invitations to the post office and request hand-cancelling to prevent damage from machines.

Envelope sealing: use a cotton swab or paintbrush to moisten the adhesive, then place under a heavy book

When it comes to sealing your wedding invitation envelopes, there are a few methods to consider. Firstly, you could use a cotton swab or paintbrush to moisten the adhesive. This is a more hygienic alternative to licking each envelope and ensures you cover the entire adhesive strip. After moistening and sealing the envelope, use a heavy book or paperweight to reinforce the closure. This extra step will reduce any flap wrinkling and ensure a neat, secure seal.

Preparing the Envelopes

• Gather your envelopes, cotton swabs or paintbrushes, a bowl of water, and a heavy book or paperweight.
• Dip the cotton swab or paintbrush into the water, ensuring it is moist but not dripping.
• Firmly press the cotton swab or paintbrush along the adhesive strip of each envelope, covering it evenly.
• Close the flap and apply a small amount of pressure to create an initial seal.

Sealing with a Heavy Book

• Place the sealed envelopes under a heavy book or paperweight.
• Allow them to rest for a few hours or until the adhesive is completely dry.
• Remove the book and check that the envelopes are securely sealed.

By following these steps, you can ensure your wedding invitations are securely sealed and ready for mailing. This method is especially useful if you have a large number of invitations to send out, as it is more efficient and hygienic than licking each envelope.

Timing: send invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding, or 3 months for destination weddings

When it comes to wedding invitations, timing is crucial. Send your invites too early, and your wedding might slip your guests' minds as the day approaches. Send them too late, and you risk your guests being unable to take time off work, book accommodations, or make travel arrangements.

So, when is the right time to send out your wedding invitations? Etiquette experts recommend mailing your invitations six to eight weeks before your wedding date. This timeframe strikes a balance between giving your guests ample notice and not overwhelming them with information too far in advance. It also allows you to receive RSVPs sooner, helping you finalise your seating chart and other details before the wedding crunch.

However, there are a few exceptions to this rule. If you're planning a destination wedding or have a significant number of international guests, it's advisable to send your invitations twelve weeks in advance. This extra time accounts for shipping and delivery times and gives your guests more time to plan their travel and accommodations.

On the other hand, if you're only inviting a few international guests, you can send their invitations at the same time as your other guests but ensure you inform them about the wedding details beforehand through a quick call, text, or email.

For weddings around major holidays, such as Christmas, it's suggested to send invitations earlier—around three months in advance. This ensures that your guests have enough time to plan during a busy season.

Addressing: write full names and titles, with house numbers under 20 written out

When addressing your wedding invitations, it's important to follow certain etiquette to ensure your guests feel welcome and respected. Here are some detailed guidelines specifically for "Addressing: write full names and titles, with house numbers under 20 written out":

Full Names and Titles

The outer envelope should be formal, and the best way to ensure formality is to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title. This approach is foolproof, as it works for couples of all genders, regardless of whether they share a surname. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" for a heterosexual married couple with the same last name, or "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee" for an unmarried couple.

If you feel that personal titles might be restrictive or exclusive for your guest list, you can forgo them and use first and last names only. It's important to note that some individuals may prefer gender-neutral titles, such as "Mx." instead of "Mr." or "Ms." Always double-check with your guests beforehand if you plan to include titles.

Inner Envelopes

Inner envelopes are more informal, giving you the option to leave out certain elements of the formal name format. For example, you can use just the last name or go with a more casual vibe and use first names only.

Single Individuals

When addressing a single female, use "Ms." if she is over 18, and "Miss" if she is younger. For a single male, use "Mr." if he is over 18; otherwise, no title is necessary.

If you are offering a plus-one to a single individual, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Reserve "and guest" for the inner envelope only, written in lowercase.

Married Couples

For a heterosexual married couple with the same last name, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's full name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren."

If the couple prefers to have the wife's name included, you can write "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren."

For a heterosexual married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long, list them separately. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez."

Unmarried Couples

For unmarried couples living at the same address, both names should be included on one line. List the person you are closest to first. For example, "Mr. Aaron Triguiero and Mr. Gabriel Reyes."

House Numbers Under 20

When writing out the address, spell out house numbers that are smaller than 20. For example, instead of "15 Street," write "Fifteen Street."

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your wedding invitations are addressed correctly and respectfully.

Postage: weigh one invite at the post office to determine the exact amount required

When it comes to sending out your wedding invitations, it's important to ensure you have the correct postage. The amount of postage required depends on the weight, size, and thickness of your invitations. To determine the exact postage needed, it is recommended that you take a fully assembled invitation to your local post office and have it weighed by a postal clerk. This will ensure that you don't end up with hundreds of incorrect stamps, and it will also give you peace of mind that your invitations will reach your guests without any issues.

The weight of your wedding invitation will depend on several factors, such as the thickness of the paper, the number of cards included, and any embellishments like ribbon, twine, or wax seals. Basic wedding invitation suites, including a mailing envelope, a single-layer invitation, an RSVP card, and an RSVP envelope, can usually be sent with a regular First-Class Stamp. However, if your invitation weighs more than one ounce, you will need additional postage. Invitations that weigh between one and two ounces will require a 2-ounce stamp, which is typically more than the cost of a first-class stamp.

Square wedding invitations are also considered irregular and will require additional postage due to their non-standard shape. These invitations must be hand-cancelled, which means they are sorted manually, resulting in an extra cost. If your envelope is thicker than 1/4" at its thickest point, it may also require additional postage. This often occurs when people add a ribbon tie or a wax seal to their invitations.

To avoid any issues, it is best to have your invitations weighed at the post office and to purchase the recommended stamps. You can also ask the postal clerk about hand-cancelling your invites, which means they will be marked or crossed out to prevent reuse and will not be put through a machine that could cause damage. This service may incur an additional fee and take more time, so it is recommended to visit the post office during slow times, such as early weekday mornings.

Return address: place on the envelope flap, with no more than 2 lines, to avoid confusion

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few things to consider to ensure that your invites not only look elegant but also reach their destination without a hitch. One important aspect is the placement of the return address. While it's a small detail, it can make a big difference in ensuring your invitations don't go astray.

The return address is typically placed on the back flap of the envelope. This is the preferred choice for those who want a clean, uncluttered look on the front of the envelope, especially if you have a keen eye for design or wish to adhere to a particular theme. However, placing the return address on the back flap is not recommended by the United States Postal Service (USPS) as it may lead to compromised visibility and potential delivery issues.

If you want to follow the USPS guidelines, the optimal placement for the return address is on the front of the envelope, in the upper left corner, with the address text starting 1/2 inch from the left edge and 6 inches from the bottom. This placement ensures quick automated sorting and delivery to your recipients' mailboxes. It also leaves the back of the envelope as an unbroken canvas for any calligraphy, illustrations, or other artwork you may want to include.

However, placing the return address on the front may not suit highly formal wedding themes or those who wish to have calligraphy art as the centerpiece on the back of the envelope. It can detract from the elegance of the design, especially for those aiming for a classic formal calligraphy look or a regal royal crest design.

To ensure your envelopes reach their destination, it is recommended to use a clear, readable serif font like Times New Roman, Georgia, Palatino, Arial, or Helvetica. Avoid overly elaborate scripts or thin fonts that may be difficult to read.

In terms of formatting the return address, there are a few options. Traditionally, whoever is hosting the wedding would be noted as the return address, which could be a parent or the couple themselves. You can use first names only (Alex and John), first and last names (Alex Jones and John Smith), last names plus wedding (Jones and Smith Wedding), or even no names at all, just the address. If using last names, avoid combining them (Alex and John Smith) as the couple is not married yet.

Remember, the goal is to have your invitations delivered smoothly and to avoid any confusion for your guests. By following these tips and guidelines, you can ensure that your wedding invitations are both aesthetically pleasing and practical.

Frequently asked questions