Etiquette Guide: Using 'Esquire' In Wedding Invites

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few different considerations to keep in mind, especially when addressing guests with distinguished titles, such as lawyers, doctors, judges, or military personnel. While some etiquette books advise against using professional titles on wedding invitations, others argue that it is appropriate to address guests with their special degrees or designations. In the case of lawyers, the use of Esquire or Esq. can be considered a professional designation in the legal field, and it is up to the couple's preference whether to include it or not. This paragraph aims to provide an overview of the considerations and opinions surrounding the use of Esquire on wedding invitations, setting the tone for the rest of the article, which will likely delve into specific scenarios, examples, and recommendations.

Esquire is a professional designation, not a social title

The use of "Esquire" on wedding invitations is a topic of debate. While some people consider it pretentious, others argue that it is a professional designation that should be included. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple getting married.

"Esquire" is a professional designation, primarily used as a courtesy title for lawyers in the United States. It is not a social title and should not be used in social settings, such as on wedding invitations. The correct usage of "Esquire" is to include it after the person's name when corresponding with them, for example, "Robert Jones, Esq." or "Cynthia Adams, Esq.". It is important to note that you should never use both a courtesy title (Mr., Mrs., or Ms.) and the professional designation "Esq." together.

In the United Kingdom, the use of "Esquire" has evolved over time. Historically, it was a title of respect for men of higher social rank, particularly members of the landed gentry. However, by the early 20th century, it became a general courtesy title for any man in a formal setting. Today, the use of "Esquire" in the United Kingdom is declining, and it is considered old-fashioned by some. In certain formal contexts, it may still indicate a social status and is recognised in the order of precedence. Additionally, in Scotland, the title of "Esquire" refers to people of the Scottish gentry and is considered a social dignity.

When it comes to wedding invitations, the general consensus is that names, rather than titles or jobs, should be used when referring to the bride and groom. This means that including "Esquire" on your own wedding invitation may not be appropriate. However, if you are addressing a lawyer as a guest on their invitation, it would be correct to use "Esquire" after their name. For example, "Mr. Robert Jones, Esq." or "Ms. Cynthia Adams, Esq.".

It is worth noting that some people may perceive the use of "Esquire" on a wedding invitation as pretentious. While it is a professional designation for lawyers, it is not commonly used in social settings and may come across as overly formal or status-seeking. Ultimately, the decision to include "Esquire" on a wedding invitation rests with the couple, and they should consider their preferences and the potential perceptions of their guests.

It's not appropriate to include 'Esquire' on a wedding invitation

Including "Esquire" on a wedding invitation is generally seen as unnecessary and pretentious. Wedding invitations are typically more casual and intimate, focusing on the couple's names rather than their titles or professional accomplishments.

While some etiquette books may suggest that including "Esquire" is acceptable, it is important to consider the overall tone and formality of the wedding invitation. Including "Esquire" may create an overly formal and stuffy tone, which could detract from the celebratory and joyous nature of the occasion.

Additionally, it can be argued that a wedding invitation is not the appropriate platform to showcase one's professional achievements. The invitation is meant to extend a personal invitation to share in the couple's special day, rather than highlight their educational or career-related distinctions.

Furthermore, the use of "Esquire" on a wedding invitation can create an inconsistency in the addressing format. If the couple chooses to include "Esquire" for one partner, they may feel obligated to include similar titles or qualifications for the other guests, which can become cumbersome and take away from the main purpose of the invitation.

Lastly, the use of "Esquire" may not be widely recognised or understood by all guests. It is a formal title typically used in legal contexts, and including it on a wedding invitation may confuse or alienate some guests, creating an unintended barrier.

In conclusion, while the decision to include "Esquire" on a wedding invitation ultimately lies with the couple, it is generally advisable to refrain from doing so. The use of such formal titles can detract from the celebratory nature of the occasion and create an unnecessary sense of formality and pretension. Instead, the couple should feel free to focus on their names and the joy of their upcoming nuptials, leaving the "Esquire" for more formal and professional contexts.

When addressing a lawyer, use a standard courtesy title or 'Esq.'

When addressing a lawyer, use a standard courtesy title or 'Esquire'. This is a professional designation in the legal arena and not a social title. When corresponding with a lawyer, you have two choices:

• Write the person using a standard courtesy title ("Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", "Ms.") followed by their full name. For example, "Mr. Robert Jones" or "Ms. Cynthia Adams".
• Skip the courtesy title and use "Esquire" after the name, in its abbreviated form, "Esq.". For example, "Robert Jones, Esq." or "Cynthia Adams, Esq.".

You would never use both the courtesy title (Mr., Mrs., Miss or Ms.) and the professional designation "Esq." together. When writing to a lawyer and their spouse, do not use "Esq.". Instead, address the couple using the social form they prefer, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jones" or "Mr. Robert Jones and Ms. Sarah Stone".

Some people may find it pretentious to include professional titles on wedding invitations, especially when referring to the bride or groom. It is more common to use names, rather than titles or jobs, in this context. However, others argue that guests with special degrees or distinguished titles, such as lawyers, should be addressed as such on formal invitations. Ultimately, it is a personal preference and there are no hard and fast rules. If you are unsure, it is best to err on the side of caution and use a standard courtesy title or check the person's preferred title.

Don't use 'Esq.' when addressing a lawyer and their spouse

When addressing a lawyer and their spouse on a wedding invitation, it is best to leave out any professional designations, such as "Esq." or "JD." Instead, use the social form they prefer, such as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the lawyer's last name, or include both of their full names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jones" or "Mr. Robert Jones and Ms. Sarah Stone."

It is important to note that "Esquire" is a professional designation specific to the legal field and is not typically used in social contexts. Using "Esq." on a wedding invitation, especially when addressing a couple, can come across as pretentious or inappropriate. Some people may find it odd or unnecessary to include professional titles on a social occasion, such as a wedding.

Additionally, the use of "Esquire" is generally reserved for formal correspondence related to legal matters. When writing to a lawyer about a case or professional matter, it is appropriate to use "Esq." after their name. However, in social settings or when addressing a lawyer and their spouse together, it is best to avoid using this designation.

It is worth mentioning that different etiquette books offer varying advice on this matter. While some sources may suggest that including "Esquire" on a wedding invitation is acceptable, others may consider it inappropriate. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and they may choose to include or omit "Esq." based on their personal preference and the formality of the event.

If you are unsure about whether to use "Esquire" on a wedding invitation, it is always a good idea to ask the lawyer and their spouse about their preferred form of address. They may prefer a more informal approach or request that you follow traditional etiquette guidelines. Respecting their wishes will ensure that your invitation is addressed appropriately and avoids any potential misunderstandings.

Guests with special degrees should be addressed as such

When it comes to wedding invitations, the general consensus is to keep things traditional and formal. This is especially true when addressing guests with special degrees or titles. Here are some guidelines to ensure your guests are addressed correctly and respectfully:

Judges

For a judge, the outer envelope should be addressed with their full title and name: "The Honourable Susan Smith". The inner envelope can be more informal, with just their last name and title: "Judge Smith". This format is respectful and acknowledges their position.

Attorneys

For attorneys or lawyers, you have a few options. The most formal approach would be to use "Esquire" or its abbreviated form, "Esq." after their name. For example, "Martin Hall, Esq." on the outer envelope. Alternatively, you can simply use "Mr." or "Ms." followed by their name, as you would with other guests. On the inner envelope, you can write "Mr." or "Ms." and their last name, or just their last name if you prefer a more casual tone.

Professors

When inviting a university professor, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Jean Kelly, Ph.D." or "Professor Jean Kelly". The inner envelope can be more informal, with either "Dr. Kelly" or "Professor Kelly". Using their title is a way to show respect for their academic achievements.

Doctors

If you have doctors attending your wedding, the invitation should be addressed to "Dr." followed by their name on the outer envelope. If the doctor uses their partner's surname socially, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Dr. Anne and Mr. Peter Underwood". For the inner envelope, you can address them as "Dr." followed by their last name, or simply as "The Doctors Underwood" if they are both doctors.

Military Personnel

When inviting members of the military, their rank and service branch should be included. For example, "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy" on the outer envelope. If both spouses hold military titles, you can address them as "Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy" on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you can write their rank, name, and service branch: "Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy".

In all cases, it is essential to consider your guests' preferences and comfort levels. Some guests may prefer a more casual approach, while others may appreciate the formality of their title being used. It is always a good idea to double-check with your guests beforehand to ensure you are using their preferred titles and forms of address.

Frequently asked questions