Lyla Dejesus
Wedding invitations are often a tricky business, and this is especially true when it comes to including the names of deceased parents. While some people believe that it is not proper to list a deceased person on an invitation, others argue that it is a thoughtful way to honour their memory and include them in the celebration. One way to do this is to use the phrase late next to the deceased parent's name, making it clear that they are no longer living while still including them on the invitation. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to include a deceased parent on a wedding invitation is a personal one, and there are many ways to honour a deceased parent during the wedding ceremony itself, such as lighting a memorial candle or including a note in loving memory in the wedding programme.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Whether to include a deceased parent on a wedding invitation | It is not necessary to include a deceased parent on a wedding invitation, but it is a nice way to honour their memory. It is ultimately up to the couple's preference. |
| Traditional format | " [Engaged Person's Name], child of [Parent's Name] and the late [Parent's Name] [Engaged Person's Name], child of [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name] request the honour of your presence at their marriage." |
| Alternative format | " [Engaged Person's Name], son/daughter of [Parent's Name] and the late [Parent's Name]" |
| Etiquette | The host line traditionally indicates who is paying for the wedding. If the deceased parent is not the host, they can still be mentioned in a way that does not imply they are directly inviting guests. |
| Other ways to honour deceased parents | Memorial candle, reserving a seat, wedding program, toast, memorial poem, flowers, tribute in the ceremony program, memory table at the reception |
What You'll Learn
Including a deceased parent in the invitation wording
If you've lost a parent, you may want to find ways to honour their memory on your wedding day. One way to do this is to include their name on your wedding invitation. Here are some ideas for how to do this.
The bride's parent has passed away
This formal example is perfect for a traditional wedding. For a same-sex wedding with two grooms, simply swap "daughter" for "son".
> Mrs Sharon Henderson
>
> and the late Mr Nathan Henderson
>
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
>
> at the marriage of their daughter
>
>
> Preston John Brackman
>
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
>
> Two thousand and twenty-six
>
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
>
> Dripping Springs, Texas
> and the late Mr Jim Hanson
>
>
> son of Mr and Mrs Brady Aster
>
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
>
> Two thousand and twenty-six
>
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
>
> Palo Alto, California
> Fatima and the late Arjun Sharma
>
>
> the families and friends of
>
>
> at the celebration of their marriage
>
>
> on Saturday, July 21st, 2024 at 6:00 pm
>
>
> Bluxome Street Winery
>
>
> San Francisco, California
The groom's parent has passed away
> Mr and Mrs Jay Courier
>
>
> Mrs Hannah Fullerton and the late Andrew Fullerton
>
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
>
> at the marriage of their children
>
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
>
> Two thousand and twenty-six
>
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
>
> 912 Sixth Street South
>
>
> Minneapolis, Minnesota
The bride has a deceased parent
> Mrs Christine Johnson
>
>
> requests the honour of your presence
>
>
> at the marriage of his daughter
>
>
> Mrs Christine Johnson
>
>
> requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of
>
>
> daughter of Mr Dennis Johnson
>
>
> daughter of Christine Johnson
>
>
> and the late Dennis Johnson
The groom has a deceased parent
> Mr & Mrs John Smith request the pleasure of your company as their daughter
>
>
> My first middle last name
>
>
> Exchanges Marriage Vows with
>
>
> FH's first middle last name, son of FH's mother's name
>
>
> or
>
>
> son of the late FH's mother's name
Ways to honour a deceased parent at a wedding
Whether you include your deceased parent or parents on the wedding invitation or not, you can always include their memory in the service itself. Here are some ideas:
- Memorial candle: Allow other guests to join in with their own remembrances.
- Reserve a seat: A simple way to include a deceased parent is to reserve them a seat at the ceremony and reception.
- Wedding program: Include a note "in loving memory" of your parents.
- Give a toast: Weddings are all about toasts, so raise a glass in honour of your parent.
- Memorial poems: Give a short wedding memorial poem reading during the ceremony or reception dedicated to your parent.
- Flowers: Hold a bouquet that reminds you of your deceased parent.
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Honouring a deceased parent at the wedding
It is completely normal to feel the pain of losing a parent on your wedding day, no matter how long it has been since their passing. Honouring a deceased parent at a wedding is a special way to include them in the celebration and there are many ways to do so, ranging from public tributes to private acknowledgements. Here are some ideas to help you honour a deceased parent on your special day:
Wedding Invitations
One way to honour a deceased parent is to include their name on your wedding invitation. This can be done in a variety of ways, depending on your relationship to the parent and your personal preferences. For example, you could list the deceased parent's name first, followed by the surviving parent's name, and then include a phrase such as "request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter/son".
Wedding Attire and Accessories
Incorporating a memento of your deceased parent into your wedding attire or accessories is a subtle way to honour them. You could wear a piece of their jewellery, a watch, a pocket square, or a handkerchief. Alternatively, you could add a patch of fabric from their favourite item of clothing to your outfit or include a photo of them in a small frame attached to your bouquet or inside pocket.
Wedding Ceremony
The wedding ceremony provides several opportunities to honour a deceased parent. Here are some ideas:
- Reserve a seat in the front row for your deceased parent and decorate it with their jacket, a bouquet of flowers, or a custom sign.
- Include a memorial candle lighting ritual in the ceremony. You can light a candle at the start of the ceremony or at a specific time during the proceedings to signify your loved one's presence.
- Have the celebrant say a few words in honour of your deceased parent. You can ask them to mention your parent at any point during the ceremony and even pen a special message or memory to be read aloud.
- Include a tribute to your deceased parent in the wedding program or order of service. This could be a simple "In Loving Memory" note, a symbolic quote, a poem, or a religious passage, along with a photo of your parent.
- Dedicate a special wedding reading or poem to your parent.
Wedding Reception
The wedding reception is a great place to incorporate more personal and unique tributes to your deceased parent. Here are some ideas:
- Create an "In Memoriam" table with framed photos of your deceased parent and other loved ones, along with sentimental objects and keepsakes.
- Play your parent's favourite song at some point during the reception, whether it's during the first dance or as part of the dancing in the evening.
- Incorporate their favourite drink into the cocktail hour or offer it as a wedding favour, along with a sign explaining its significance.
- Include a tribute to your parent in the wedding speeches or raise a glass to them with a special toast. You can share a few personal words or embrace a meaningful quote.
- Serve a special recipe or dish that your parent loved, such as their favourite cookies or a signature combo of olives and cheese.
- Display family photos and heirlooms, such as a late grandparent's desk adorned with flowers and framed photos.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to honour a deceased parent at your wedding. Do what feels right and comfortable for you and your partner, and always involve those who were closest to the deceased in your discussions to ensure everyone is comfortable with the chosen tributes.
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Etiquette for wedding invitations with deceased parents
Including deceased parents on wedding invitations can be a thoughtful way to honour their memory and involve them in the celebration symbolically. Here is a guide to help you navigate this sensitive topic with grace and respect.
Traditional Format:
The traditional format for wedding invitations typically includes the names of the engaged couple, their parents, and other relevant details. When addressing deceased parents in this context, it is customary to use the phrase "late" to indicate their passing. Here's an example:
> [Engaged Person's Name]
>
> child of [Parent's Name] and the late [Deceased Parent's Name]
>
> [Engaged Person's Name]
>
> child of [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]
>
> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
Honoring the Deceased Parent:
Including the deceased parent's name on the invitation is a meaningful way to honour their memory. This approach is especially suitable if the parent passed away recently or if you feel their presence should be acknowledged during the celebration.
Surviving Parent Remarried:
In cases where the surviving parent has remarried, you can still honour the deceased parent on the invitation. Here's an example of how to word it:
> [Engaged Person's Name]
>
> child of [Parent's Name] and [Step-parent's Name]
>
> the late [Deceased Parent's Name]
>
> [Engaged Person's Name]
>
> child of [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]
>
> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
Alternative Options:
If you prefer not to include the deceased parent on the invitation, there are other ways to honour their memory during the wedding. Consider reserving a seat for them at the ceremony and reception, including a memorial candle, or mentioning them in the wedding programme or toasts.
Personal Preference:
Ultimately, the decision to include deceased parents on wedding invitations is a personal one. Some people may prefer to keep the invitations focused on the living family members, especially if the parent passed away a long time ago. It's important to respect the wishes of those who are closely affected by the loss and involve them in the decision-making process.
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The host line and who is paying for the wedding
The host line is an important part of a wedding invitation, as it recognises the hosts of the wedding. The hosts are usually the people who are paying for the wedding. The host line is typically placed at the very top of the invitation, with the name(s) of the hosts appearing.
Hosted by One Set of Parents
If the bride's family is hosting and paying for the wedding, the invitation can include their full names with middle names for a very formal invite. For a formal invitation, the wording can be:
> Mr. and Mrs. Ernie Lively invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their daughter Blake Ellender to Ryan Rodney Saturday, the ninth of September two thousand twelve at noon Boone Hall Mount Pleasant, South Carolina Dinner and merriment to follow
For a more casual invitation, the wording can be:
> Mr. and Mrs. Oliver Simon Peter Blunt invite you to the marriage of Emily Olivia Leah and John Burke July 10, 2010 at half past six in the evening Via Regina Teodolinda, 35 Como, Italy Food, wine, and merriment to follow
Hosted by Both Sets of Parents
If both families are hosting the wedding, the invitation can include both sets of parents' names. For a formal invitation, the wording can be:
> Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Adams and Mr. and Mrs. David Beckham request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children Victoria Caroline to David Robert Joseph Saturday, the fourth of July nineteen ninety-nine at half past seven in the evening Luttrellstown Castle Clonsilla, Ireland Reception to follow
For a more casual invitation, the wording can be:
> With great pleasure Kimberly and Jonathan Biel and Lynn Bomar Harless and Randall Timberlake invite you to celebrate the marriage of their children Jessica and Justin October 19, 2012 at four o'clock in the afternoon Borgo Egnazia Resort 72015 Savelletri di Fasano BR, Italy Dress as you wish, dine as you like, dance as you please
Hosted by the Couple
If the couple is hosting their own wedding, they can choose to skip the host line or start the invitation with a welcoming introduction. For a formal invitation, the wording can be:
> Amal Alamuddin and George Timothy Clooney request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their marriage Saturday, 27 September 2014 at noon Aman Canal Grande Hotel in Venice, Italy Festivities to follow
For a more casual invitation, the wording can be:
> Miss Beyonce Knowles and Shawn "Jay Z" Carter are getting married Friday, April 4th, 2018 at four o'clock in the afternoon Join us for dinner and drinks
Hosted by Divorced Parents
To include divorced parents on the invitation, list the mother's name first, followed by the father's name on a separate line. For a formal invitation with divorced parents, the wording can be:
> Mr. Angiolo Guiseppe and Ms. Elettra Rossellini invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their son Roberto Rossellini to Ingrid Bergman Saturday, the twenty-fourth of May nineteen fifty at noon Hotel Boca Chica, Acapulco, Mexico Dinner and merriment to follow
For a more casual invitation, the wording can be:
> Ms. Pamela Jacobsen Mr. and Mrs. Fred Jacobsen invite you to share in their wedding festivities at the marriage of their daughter Jordan to Paige Saturday, the tenth of April two thousand and twenty-one at half past six in the evening Hotel Chantelle New York City, NY Dress as you wish, dine as you like, dance as you please
Hosted by Parent, Including Deceased Parent
To honour a deceased parent on the wedding invitation, they can be included in the host line or after the bride or groom's name. The phrase "the late" is used before their name. For a formal invitation, the wording can be:
> Mrs. and Mr. Michael Francis Middleton request the honour of your company at the marriage of their daughter Catherine Elizabeth Middleton to Prince William, Duke of Cambridge Son of Charles, Prince of Wales and the late Diana, Princess of Wales Friday, the twenty-ninth of April two thousand and eleven at eleven o'clock in the morning at Westminster Abbey – 20, Deans Yard London, England Reception to follow
For a more casual invitation, the wording can be:
> Together with their families Malaak Compton daughter of Gerald and Louisa Compton and Christopher Rock son of the late Julius Rock and Rosalie Rock invite you to share in their wedding festivities November 23, 1996 at eight o'clock in the evening The Estate at Florentine Gardens 97 Rivervale Road River Vale, New Jersey Dinner reception to follow
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What to do if a parent has passed away a long time ago
If a parent has passed away a long time ago, you may still want to find ways to honour them on your wedding day. One way to do this is to include their name on your wedding invitation. Here are some examples of how to word your invitation in this situation:
Bride's Parent Has Passed Away
A formal, traditional wedding invitation might be worded as follows:
> Mrs. Sharon Henderson
>
> and the late Mr. Nathan Henderson
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of their daughter
>
> Preston John Brackman
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two-thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
> Dripping Springs, Texas
For a less formal wedding, you could use wording such as:
> Fatima and the late Arjun Sharma
>
> the families and friends of
>
> at the celebration of their marriage
>
> on Saturday, July 21st, 2024 at 6:00pm
>
> Bluxome Street Winery
>
> San Francisco, California
Groom's Parent Has Passed Away
If the bride's name is listed first, a slight adjustment can be made, as shown in this example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Jay Courier
>
> Mrs. Hannah Fullerton and the late Andrew Fullerton
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of their children
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two-thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
> 912 Sixth Street South
>
> Minneapolis, Minnesota
Single Parent, Widow or Widower
If you prefer not to include your deceased parent on the invitation, that is also perfectly acceptable. Here is an example of wording for a single parent or widow/widower:
> Mrs. Angela Eldridge
>
> requests the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of her daughter
>
> Trevor Patrick Everett
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two-thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
> 1982 North Bay Avenue
Including a Step-Parent and a Deceased Parent
You can also choose to include both your step-parent and your deceased parent on the invitation. Here is an example of how to word this:
> Moira and Alistair Schiller
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of her
>
> and the late Porter Blackman's daughter
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two-thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
Remember, the most important thing is to follow your heart when considering how to honour a deceased parent on your wedding invitation. Your guests will surely appreciate the tribute, and your parent's memory will be honoured.
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Frequently asked questions
You can include a deceased parent's name on a wedding invitation by adding "late" before their name. For example:
[Engaged Person's Name]
child of [Parent's Name] and the late [Deceased Parent's Name]
In this case, you would include both parents as "late":
[Engaged Person's Name]
child of the late [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]
You can list both the surviving parent and step-parent, followed by the deceased parent's name:
[Engaged Person's Name]
child of [Parent's Name] and [Step-Parent's Name]
the late [Deceased Parent's Name]
No, it is not necessary. You can choose to honour them in other ways during the wedding ceremony or reception, such as with a memorial candle, a reserved seat, or a mention in the wedding program.
