Wedding gift-giving can be a tricky business. While traditional wedding etiquette states that gifts are not required if you're not attending the wedding, it's ultimately up to you to decide what feels right. Your relationship with the couple and your budget are key factors to consider. If you're close to the couple and want to show your support, a gift or a card is a thoughtful way to celebrate their union. On the other hand, if you're not attending due to financial constraints or a lack of closeness with the couple, a simple card or verbal congratulations may be more appropriate. Context is crucial, and it's essential to use your best judgment to determine the type and amount of gift that suits the situation.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Relationship with the couple | The closer you are with the couple, the more you should consider giving a gift. |
Reason for not attending | If you can't attend due to a scheduling conflict, you can send something more personal. If it's due to a last-minute emergency, send cash. |
Budget | Spend within your budget. |
Type of gift | You can give a physical gift, cash, or a voucher. |
Gift amount | There is no strict etiquette, but $25 is a good starting point. |
What You'll Learn
You are not obligated to give a gift if you weren't invited
If you were not invited to a wedding, you are not expected to send a gift. Traditional wedding etiquette states that if you can't attend the celebration, you are not obliged to send a gift. This is still true today, according to etiquette expert Elaine Swann.
If you are not attending the wedding, the only thing you must do is to promptly send your RSVP. This is important as it allows the couple to update their numbers for the venue and caterers, and they may be able to invite someone else in your place.
If you want to send a gift, this is entirely optional and will depend on your relationship with the couple and your budget. If you are very close to the couple, you may want to send a gift to show you are thinking of them. If you are not close to the couple, it is perfectly acceptable not to send a gift.
If you do decide to send a gift, you could send cash, a gift from the couple's registry, or a personalised present. It is recommended to send the gift before the wedding, so the couple knows you are thinking of them, but it is acceptable to send a gift up to a year after the wedding.
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If you want to give a gift, consider the couple's registry
If you want to give a gift to the happy couple, even though you're not attending the wedding, it's a good idea to consider their registry. This is especially true if you're shopping for a non-immediate family member or casual friend. A registry is a convenient wish list that the couple has curated, so you can be sure that they'll appreciate your gift.
Kara Maureen, a wedding coach, suggests adding a message to your registry pick. She advises writing a sweet note expressing your sadness at not being able to celebrate with them on their big day, but that you're excited to be a part of their future toasts as a married couple. Adding a personal note like this can make your gift even more memorable.
If you're close to the couple, you might want to skip the registry altogether and opt for a more personalised gift. Something that reflects their interests or your relationship with them can be a thoughtful choice. For example, you could give them a gift card to their favourite restaurant or a charm bracelet symbolising your friendship.
When choosing a gift, it's important to consider your relationship with the couple and your budget. You don't have to spend a fortune to show your congratulations. A small, thoughtful gift or a heartfelt card can go a long way.
Remember, the decision to give a gift is ultimately up to you. If you're not attending the wedding, all that's expected is that you RSVP promptly and convey your well-wishes to the couple.
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A card is a thoughtful gesture if you don't want to give a gift
If you were not invited to a wedding, it is not necessary to give a gift. However, if you want to show your congratulations, a card is a thoughtful gesture. This is especially true if you are unable to attend due to financial constraints. A simple card allows you to express your well-wishes to the couple without the expectation of a gift.
Sending a card is a considerate way to acknowledge the couple's special day and let them know you are thinking of them. It is a polite and respectful way to decline the invitation while still offering your congratulations. This is a common practice and is often appreciated by the couple.
When choosing a card, opt for one that is celebratory and reflects your wishes for their marriage. You can also include a personal note inside the card, expressing your happiness for them and your regret for not being able to attend. This adds a thoughtful touch and lets the couple know that you are thinking of them.
If you want to include a small gift along with the card, that is also an option. A token gift, such as a bottle of wine or a set of glasses, can be a nice addition to the card. However, it is important to note that a gift is not required and the card itself is a thoughtful gesture.
Ultimately, the decision to send a card or a gift is a personal one and depends on your relationship with the couple and your own financial situation. If you feel that a card is the most appropriate way to decline the invitation, then it is certainly a thoughtful and considerate choice.
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You could give a small gift, like a bottle of bubbly
If you were not invited to a wedding, it is not necessary to give a gift. However, if you want to give a small gift as a thoughtful gesture, a bottle of bubbly is a great option. It is a simple yet effective way to express your congratulations and well-wishes to the happy couple.
A bottle of champagne or sparkling wine is a classic choice for a wedding gift. It is elegant and festive, and it can be enjoyed by the couple on their special day or saved for a future celebration. It is also a versatile option, as it can be paired with a nice flute or bottle stopper, or even personalised with a custom label or engraving.
When choosing a bottle of bubbly, consider the couple's tastes and preferences. If they are champagne connoisseurs, opt for a well-known brand or a vintage variety. For a more affordable option, a bottle of prosecco or cava can be just as festive and delicious. You could even choose a bottle from a local vineyard or a variety that holds a special meaning for the couple.
To make your gift even more special, consider adding a personalised touch. For example, you could include a set of custom flutes or a bottle stopper with the couple's initials or wedding date engraved on them. Alternatively, you could create a gift basket with the bubbly as the centrepiece, adding complementary items such as chocolates, cheese, or other snacks.
Presenting the gift in a creative way can also make it more memorable. For instance, you could package the bottle in a decorative box or wrap it with a festive bow. Including a heartfelt card with a personal message will also add a thoughtful touch.
Overall, a bottle of bubbly is a wonderful choice for a small wedding gift. It is a simple and elegant way to show your support for the couple as they begin their new life together.
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It's best to send a gift before the wedding
If you're not attending a wedding, it's generally considered thoughtful to send a gift to the couple before the celebration. This shows that you're thinking of them and allows them to appreciate your gesture amid the excitement leading up to their special day. While traditional wedding etiquette states that you're not obligated to send a gift if you can't attend, it's ultimately up to you and will depend on your relationship with the couple and your budget.
Sending a gift before the wedding ensures that it reaches the couple within a reasonable timeframe for them to express their warm wishes and congratulations. It's also a good idea if you want to include a heartfelt card with your present, as this will be remembered by the couple. While you have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift, most experts recommend delivering gifts within three months of the wedding, whether or not you attend.
If you're unsure about what to give, a practical keepsake is always a safe bet. Consider something like glassware, barware, a beautiful bowl, cutlery, a blanket, or an oven dish. Coffee table books or art prints are more contemporary choices. You could also opt for an experience gift, such as a restaurant voucher, cinema membership, cooking class, or afternoon tea, which can be easily personalised for the couple.
If you're close to the couple, you might want to skip the registry and go for a more personalised gift that reflects their interests. For instance, you could give them a framed print of the couple or a private cooking class that they can enjoy together at a later date.
The amount you spend on a gift is also flexible and will depend on your budget and your relationship with the couple. While you might spend less if you're not attending the wedding, you could also spend more if you're saving money on travel costs.
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Frequently asked questions
No, you are not required to give a gift if you weren't invited to the wedding. A verbal congratulations or a card is more than enough.
If you do decide to give a gift, it is recommended to check the couple's registry and purchase something suitable from there. If they don't have a registry, you can opt for a practical keepsake like glassware, a bowl, cutlery, or a blanket.
It is recommended to send the gift before the wedding so that the couple knows you are thinking about them. However, traditional wedding gift etiquette states that you have up to a year after the wedding date to send a present.