Should You Invite The Priest To Your Wedding?

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the many considerations is whether to invite the priest or officiant to the wedding and reception. While it is not mandatory, it is considered good etiquette to extend an invitation to the priest as a courtesy, regardless of your relationship with them. This is especially true if the priest is a close friend or family member, or if they are a religious figure such as a rabbi or pastor. In this case, it is also common to offer a plus one to their spouse or partner. However, if the priest is simply hired for the event, the decision to invite them is more flexible and depends on personal preference.

The priest's role as officiant

The priest who will be marrying you is called the officiant. This is different from simply inviting a friend who also happens to be a priest. To secure the priest's services, you must ask him in person, if possible. It is considered good etiquette to invite the priest who is officiating your wedding. This is true even if you are not close with the priest. It is also considered polite to invite the priest to the reception after the wedding.

When sending an invitation to the priest, it is important to address the card in a formal manner. Most Catholic priests are addressed as "Reverend Father," but there are many ranks in the Catholic church and in other denominations. Be sure to find out exactly how to address your priest before you send the invitation. For example, a priest who is a member of a religious order should be addressed as "The Reverend Father." On the other hand, a Protestant minister is called "The Reverend." If the officiant is married, be sure to include the spouse's name on the invitation as well.

If you are unsure about whether to invite the priest to your wedding and reception, it is always better to err on the side of caution and extend the invitation. The priest will likely play a big part in your ceremony, and it would be awkward to force them to leave after the ceremony.

Whether the priest is a friend or hired

When it comes to wedding planning, there are many decisions to be made, and the guest list can be one of the most challenging aspects. When it comes to whether or not to invite the priest, there are a few things to consider, and the decision may be influenced by whether the priest is a friend or simply hired for the wedding.

If the priest is a close friend or family member, it is only natural to want to include them in the celebration. In this case, it is common courtesy to extend an invitation to both the wedding and the reception. As a friend, the priest is likely to want to share in the joy of your special day and may even be honoured to be included. It is important to address the invitation with the appropriate title and name format, depending on the type of priest, such as "The Reverend Father" for Catholic priests or "The Reverend" for Protestant ministers.

On the other hand, if the priest is hired specifically for the wedding and you do not have a prior relationship with them, the decision to invite them becomes more discretionary. Some couples choose to invite the priest out of courtesy and as a way of showing appreciation for their role in the ceremony. It can be awkward to ask them to leave immediately after the ceremony, especially if they have played a significant part in your day. However, it is not uncommon for hired priests to politely decline the invitation or stay briefly for cocktail hour, as they may have other commitments or feel it is more professional to keep their distance.

Ultimately, the decision to invite the priest to your wedding and reception is a personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Consider your relationship with the priest, the size of your wedding, and your own preferences when making your decision. It may be helpful to discuss this with your partner and families to ensure that your wedding guest list aligns with your vision for the day.

How to address the priest on the invitation

When addressing a priest on a wedding invitation, it is important to follow certain etiquette rules. Firstly, it is considered good form to send an invitation to the priest even if they are officiating your wedding. This serves as a reminder, and it is an appreciated gesture.

The way you address the priest on the invitation depends on their specific role and religious affiliation. Here are some guidelines:

• For a Catholic priest, the common form of address is "The Reverend Father". On the outer envelope, use their full name, such as "The Reverend Father John Smith". On the inner envelope, you can use "Father Smith".
• For a Protestant minister, the appropriate title is "The Reverend". Address them as "The Reverend John Smith" on the outer envelope, and "Reverend Smith" on the inner envelope.
• For a Rabbi, simply use the title "Rabbi" on both envelopes.
• If the officiant is married, be sure to include their spouse's name on the invitation. For example, "The Reverend John Doe and Mrs Jane Doe".
• For other religious denominations, it is advisable to research the appropriate titles and forms of address specific to that faith.

In addition to the invitation, it is considered polite to invite the priest to the wedding reception, especially if they are a close religious figure or have played a significant role in your wedding. They may decline the invitation due to other commitments, but it is courteous to extend the offer.

Whether to invite the priest's spouse

When it comes to inviting the priest who is officiating your wedding, it is generally considered good etiquette to extend an invitation to them. This is true even if you are not close with the priest, as they will have played an important role in your ceremony. It would be courteous to invite them, and it would be awkward to ask them to leave after the ceremony.

Now, what about the priest's spouse? If the priest is a friend or close religious figure, it makes sense to invite them with a plus one. If the priest is married, it is polite to offer them a plus one so they can bring their spouse. This is common courtesy, similar to inviting any other guest with a spouse. However, if the priest is not a personal connection and has been hired for the event, the decision to invite their spouse may depend on your budget and personal preference.

It is worth noting that the priest and their spouse may not stay for the entire event. They may choose to leave before the dancing and partying begin, especially if they are not well-acquainted with the couple. They may also have other commitments, such as another wedding to officiate.

Some couples choose to invite the priest to the rehearsal dinner, but there is no expectation to invite them to other wedding-related activities like a welcome party or a day-after brunch unless they are particularly close with the couple's family.

In summary, while the decision to invite the priest's spouse may depend on your relationship with the priest and your budget, it is generally considered polite to offer a plus one if the priest is married.

Whether to invite the priest to other events

Whether or not to invite the priest to other events:

It is generally considered polite to invite the priest to your wedding reception after the ceremony. The priest has played a major part in your wedding, and it is courteous to allow him to celebrate with you. It is best to send him a formal, printed invitation. However, do not be surprised if he declines—he may have other commitments, such as another wedding to officiate.

In addition to the wedding reception, the priest should also be invited to the rehearsal dinner as they will be in attendance at the wedding rehearsal. Their presence at other events, such as a welcome party or a day-after brunch, is at your discretion. If the priest is particularly close with your family, you may wish to extend an invitation to these additional events.

If your priest is a friend or a close religious figure, it is customary to invite them to the reception and offer them a plus one. If the priest is a religious figure like a rabbi or pastor, it is polite to offer them a plus one so they can bring their spouse. In the case of a hired officiant, the decision to offer a plus one can be made based on your budget and preference.

It is not expected that the priest will RSVP "yes" to your invitation, especially if you have only recently met them or if they do not share a special bond with your family. They may also need to leave early to officiate at another ceremony. If they do accept, it is customary to seat them at a table with close relatives, such as your parents or grandparents.

Frequently asked questions