Adult-Only Weddings: Inviting Guests With Tact And Grace

Planning a wedding is exciting, but it can also be stressful. One of the toughest parts is deciding on the guest list. If you want to invite only adults to your wedding, there are a few ways to politely communicate this to your guests. Firstly, be clear and consistent about the parameters. Decide on the age limit and stick to it, with the possible exception of infants or children in the wedding party. Address the invitations to the adult guests by name only and consider including a note stating that only named guests are invited. You could also include a specific line on the RSVP cards indicating the number of guests invited. If you have a wedding website, include an FAQ page and state that the event is adults-only. This will help to avoid any confusion and ensure that your guests know your wishes in advance.

Be clear and consistent about the parameters

Deciding on an adults-only wedding can be a tricky conversation to have with your guests, but it is important to be clear and consistent about the parameters to avoid any confusion or upset. Here are some tips to help you effectively communicate your wishes:

Define the Parameters

First, decide on the specifics of your adults-only policy. Will you allow children at the ceremony but not the reception? Are babies and toddlers exempt? Be clear about what age qualifies someone as an "adult". Will you make exceptions for children in the wedding party? It is important to set these guidelines and stick to them to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

Address Invitations Properly

When addressing your invitations, only include the names of the invited guests on the envelope. For example, address it to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez" rather than "The Chavez Family". This may seem obvious, but it is worth mentioning as it can be a subtle yet effective way to communicate your adults-only policy.

Be Explicit in Your Wording

To ensure there is no room for misinterpretation, it is best to be explicit in your invitation wording. You can include a simple note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards. Here are some examples of clear and concise wording:

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow."
• "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."
• "Although we love your little ones, this is an adult-only affair."

Provide Additional Information

If you have the space, consider adding a bit more detail on an information card. This can help to put your guests' minds at ease and show that you are considerate of their needs. For example:

• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please. We have reserved [X] seats in your honour."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to budget and space constraints. We hope you can still make it."
• "We love your kids but thought you might like a night off. Adults only please!"

Create a Wedding Website

A wedding website is a great way to provide additional information and answer any frequently asked questions. Include an FAQ page and address the topic of children directly. You can also provide information about babysitting options to help your guests make arrangements. Here is an example of what you could include:

Can we bring kids? While we love all the children in our lives, we have decided to keep our wedding and reception an adults-only event. We want our family and friends to be able to let loose and enjoy themselves without having to worry about little ones.

Spread the Word

Ask your bridal party, family, and close friends to help spread the word about your adults-only policy. They can answer any questions from other guests and ensure that everyone is on the same page. This way, you can avoid any potential misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Remember, it is your special day, and it is perfectly valid to want an adults-only celebration. By being clear and consistent in your communication, you can help ensure that your guests understand and respect your wishes.

Don't make exceptions

Deciding on an adults-only wedding is one thing, but sticking to this decision is another. It's important to remember that making exceptions for some guests and not others is a surefire way to ruffle feathers and cause unnecessary drama. So, if you've decided that your wedding will be adults-only, the best course of action is to be clear, consistent, and firm about the parameters you've set.

Firstly, decide on the criteria that define an "adult." Will your cut-off be based on age? If so, will it be 18 or 21 and over? Or perhaps your criteria are less age-focused and more centred around independence. For example, you might decide that only those who are out of college, or those who are financially independent and paying their own rent, will qualify as adults. Whatever your criteria, it's essential to stick to them and not make exceptions for certain guests.

If you choose to include flower girls and ring bearers in your ceremony, you may decide to make an exception for these children to participate. In this case, be transparent with your other guests to avoid confusion or upset. Make it clear that only children who are part of the wedding party will be in attendance. This way, your guests will know what to expect and can plan accordingly.

It's also worth considering the impact of your decision on guests with children. If you want to go the extra mile, you could book a childcare provider and set aside a room for the kids, especially if your reception is at a hotel. This thoughtful gesture will not only show that you value your guests' presence but also enable more of your loved ones to attend and fully enjoy the celebration.

Finally, be mindful of how you address your invitations. To avoid any ambiguity, only include the names of the invited guests on the envelope. For example, address it to "Mr. and Mrs. Bernard Maxwell", instead of "The Maxwell Family." This simple yet effective approach will help ensure your guests understand that the invitation is for adults only.

Address envelopes to adults only

When addressing envelopes for an adults-only wedding, it's important to be clear and concise to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding. Here are some tips and suggestions for addressing envelopes to adults only:

• Outer Envelope: Address the outer envelope only to the adult guests who are invited. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez" instead of "The Chavez Family." This is a subtle way to indicate that only the specified adults are invited and not their children.
• Inner Envelope: If you are using inner envelopes, address them to the invited adults by their first names, such as "Bernard and Samantha." This reinforces the adult-only nature of the invitation.
• Be Consistent: Ensure that you are consistent with your guest list parameters. Decide on the criteria for who qualifies as an "adult." For example, do they need to be over 21? Out of college? Paying their own rent? Stick to your criteria to avoid any confusion or potential hurt feelings.
• Specify Ages: If you want to include specific age restrictions, you can add a note on the invitation or response card. For example, "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow" or "Children over 16 years of age are welcome."
• Include a Note: If you prefer, you can include a short note or insert in the invitation suite. This can be a polite way to clarify that the event is adults-only. For example, "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration" or "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."
• Offer Childcare Options: If you want to provide accommodation for guests with children, you can include information about childcare options or a designated kids' room at the venue or hotel. This shows that you understand their needs and want to make their attendance possible.

Remember, the key is to be clear and consistent in your messaging. By addressing the envelopes correctly and providing additional information if needed, you can effectively communicate that your wedding is an adults-only event.

Include adults-only on the website

How to Invite Adults Only to Your Wedding

A wedding website is a great way to keep your guests informed about your wedding plans and preparations. It's also a good place to let them know about your adults-only policy. Here are some tips and wording suggestions for making it clear that your wedding is adults-only:

• FAQ page: Include a frequently asked questions (FAQ) page on your website and add a question like "Can we bring kids?". Clearly state that while you love children, you want your guests to be able to relax and enjoy themselves without worrying about their kids.
• Announcement: Include a clear announcement on your website, such as "While we love all of the children in our lives, we have decided to keep our wedding and reception an adults-only event."
• Wording suggestions: Use concise and specific wording to convey your message. Here are some examples:
• "Unfortunately, only people above the age of 21 can attend the wedding due to venue size restrictions."
• "We want the guests to enjoy their time with us, so we chose to have an adults-only event. Thank you for being so cooperative."
• "Only guests named on the wedding invitations are welcome. We are having a child-free wedding."
• "We kindly request and desire your esteemed presence at our adults-only wedding. We implore your understanding at this time."
• "We politely bring it to your notice that only people older than 16 are invited to the ceremony and reception. Thank you for sharing our joy."
• Babysitting information: If you want to go the extra mile, include information about local babysitting services or agencies on your website. This will help parents make arrangements for their children and show that you're considerate of their needs.
• Spread the word: Ask your bridal party, family, and close friends to help spread the word about your adults-only wedding. They can inform other guests about your decision and answer any questions they may have.

Remember, it's important to be clear and consistent in communicating your adults-only policy. This will help avoid any confusion or misunderstandings and ensure that your guests are well-informed.

Be ready to have a difficult conversation

Deciding to have an adults-only wedding can be a tricky conversation to navigate, and you may have to be prepared for some pushback. Here are some tips on how to handle this difficult conversation:

Be Clear and Consistent: It's important to be clear and consistent in your communication about the adults-only rule. This starts with how you address your save-the-dates, invitations, and envelopes. Only include the names of the invited guests on the envelopes, and consider using a “name band” to list the names of each invited guest. This avoids any ambiguity and helps to set the right expectations.

Be Proactive: Don't wait for guests to RSVP for their entire family before addressing the issue. Include a note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards stating your request for an adults-only celebration. This way, there is no room for confusion, and guests with children can make the necessary arrangements.

Provide a Reason: While you don't owe anyone an explanation, providing a reason for your decision can help make the conversation easier. Common reasons include budget constraints, space limitations, or the style of the event not being suitable for children. You can also emphasize that you want your guests, including parents, to have a night of relaxation and fun without worrying about their kids.

Offer Alternatives: If you want to go the extra mile, consider providing alternatives or assistance to guests with children. For example, you can book a childcare provider and set aside a room for the kids, especially if the reception is at a hotel. This shows that you understand their needs and are willing to help.

Be Firm but Compassionate: In some cases, guests may ask for exceptions or try to negotiate. It's important to be firm in your decision while also being compassionate and understanding of their situation. Let them know that you would love to have them there, but you are unable to accommodate their children. You can offer to help with childcare arrangements or provide information for a local babysitting agency.

Respect Their Decision: If a guest decides not to attend due to your adults-only policy, it's important to respect their decision. They may have valid reasons or difficulties in finding childcare. Thank them for their understanding, and don't take their decision personally. Remember, it's their choice whether to attend or not.

By being clear, proactive, and compassionate in your communication, you can handle the difficult conversation about having an adults-only wedding with grace and tact. Remember that it's your special day, and you are allowed to set boundaries and make decisions that align with your vision.

Frequently asked questions