Franklin Dean
Planning a wedding is a daunting task, and with so many details to consider, it's easy to become overwhelmed. One of the most important aspects of wedding planning is ensuring that your guests feel welcome and well-informed about the event. This is where wedding invitations come in. While the stationery, design, and wording of the invitations are crucial, one aspect that is often overlooked is the addressing of the envelopes. The way you address your wedding invitations sets the tone for your special day and ensures your guests feel valued and respected. Whether you're having a formal affair or a casual beach wedding, proper etiquette for addressing invitations is essential.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Host Line | Traditionally the bride's parents are the hosts, but it is also common to list the names of both sets of parents. If the couple is hosting, you can skip the host line or start with a warm introduction. |
| Request Line | "The honour of your presence" for a religious service; "The pleasure of your company" for a non-religious ceremony; other variations include "invite you to celebrate with them" and "would love for you to join them". |
| Action Line | "At the marriage of their daughter" if the bride's parents are hosting; "at the marriage of their children" if both sets of parents are hosting; "at the celebration of their union" if the couple is hosting. |
| Names | For heterosexual couples, the bride's name typically goes first. For same-sex couples, names can be listed alphabetically by last name or based on what looks best with the invitation design. |
| Date and Time | Traditionally, the date and time are spelled out in full, e.g., "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon". |
| Venue | List the venue name and city, state on separate lines. The street address is usually not included unless the venue is a private residence. |
| Reception Information | If the reception is at the same location, you can simply say "Reception to follow". If it is at a different location, list the venue details separately. |
| Dress Code | This is optional but can be helpful for guests. If the wedding is black-tie, it must be included. |
| Website | It is not typical to print the wedding website on the main invitation card. Instead, include it on a separate reception or information card. |
What You'll Learn
Addressing a married couple with the same last name
When addressing a married couple with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow to ensure your invitations are both respectful and stylish.
Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and full names of the couple. For a married couple with the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [John] [Rivera]", with the inner envelope addressed more informally as "Mr. and Mrs. Rivera". If you are close to the couple, you could also address the outer envelope as "[John] and [Samantha] [Rivera]", with the inner envelope as "[John] and [Samantha]".
If the couple has chosen to hyphenate their last names, the format is slightly different. The outer envelope would be addressed as "Mr. [John] [Rivera]- [Hyphenated Name]" and "Mrs. [Samantha] [Hyphenated Name]-[Rivera]", with the inner envelope as "Mr. and Mrs. [Hyphenated Name]".
It is worth noting that the traditional format of "Mr. and Mrs. [John] [Rivera]" with the wife's name erased and replaced by the husband's full name is generally considered outdated and disrespectful unless you are certain that the wife has no issue with this format.
Additionally, remember to consider the couple's preferences and always ask if you are unsure. Some couples may prefer to be addressed without titles, using only their first and last names. Others may prefer a more casual approach, such as using only their first names on the inner envelope.
By following these guidelines and respecting individual preferences, you can ensure that your invitations are appropriately addressed to married couples with the same last name.
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Addressing a married couple with different last names
When addressing a married couple with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is important to use their correct titles and spell out their full names. You can address them as "Mr. [Husband's first name] and Mrs. [Wife's first name] [Husband's last name]". This option is more traditional and acknowledges the wife's first name while still indicating that they are a married couple. Alternatively, you can address them as "Mr. [Husband's full name] and Mrs. [Wife's full name]." This option provides clarity on their individual identities but may look a bit lengthy on the invitation.
Another option is to list their names separately on two lines, especially if they have long last names. For example:
[Wife's first name] [Wife's last name]
[Husband's first name] [Husband's last name]
This format ensures that each person's name is given equal importance and avoids any assumptions about name changes. It is also a good choice when you are unsure about the wife's preference regarding her name.
If the couple has chosen to hyphenate their last names, you can address them as "Mr. and Mrs. [Their full names]". This option recognises their shared last name while still using the traditional "Mr." and "Mrs." titles.
When addressing the envelope, remember to write their names on the same line if they have the same last name. However, if they have different last names, write their names on separate lines to avoid a cluttered appearance.
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Addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name
When addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is standard to put the names of the couple on the same line, and to forgo titles and list their names separately if they have different last names.
If the wife has chosen to hyphenate her last name, the correct format is "Mr. [Husband's name] and Ms. [Wife's first name] [Maiden name]-[Married name]". For example, "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones". The husband's name typically comes first, and "Mrs." is not technically correct if a woman hyphenates her last name, so it is best to use "Ms." or check her preference.
For a more modern approach, you could simply use their first and last names, without titles. In this case, the names would be written as "Michael Jones and Mary Smith-Jones".
If you are using inner envelopes, you can be more informal. You could use just their first names, for example, "Mary and Michael", or use a more casual version of their formal names, such as "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones".
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Addressing an unmarried couple
When addressing an invitation to an unmarried couple, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, it is important to use their full names and titles. For example, "Mr. Aaron Triguiero and Mr. Gabriel Reyes". The names should be written on separate lines, and you should list the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order if you have no preference.
If the couple has different last names, you can write their names separately, for example:
"Ms. Mary Ann
Mr. Tom Thumb"
If you are only close with one person in the couple, you can address the outer envelope to that person only. For example:
"Mr. Bob Knots"
However, be sure to include both names on the inner envelope:
"Mr. Bob Knots and [name of plus-one]"
If you are using only one envelope, it is best to include a short note with your invitation, for example:
"Dear James, you are welcome to bring a guest to the wedding. Please let me know. Best, Laura."
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Addressing a single person
When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the outer envelope should include their full name and title. For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson". The inner envelope can then be more informal, with just their surname, as in "Ms. Johnson".
If the single guest has been offered a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, use "and Guest" on the inner envelope, e.g. "Ms. Stephanie Chen and Guest". If you know the name of the guest, include it on the envelope as you would for an unmarried couple.
If the guest is an unmarried woman, use "Ms." if she is over 18. For younger guests, "Miss" is more acceptable and should be spelled out, not abbreviated. For a single male guest, use "Mr." if he is over 18; otherwise, no title is necessary.
For a widowed woman, it is best to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her husband's name. Some widows may also prefer to use "Ms.". A divorced woman can be addressed using "Ms." or "Mrs." and either her maiden name or ex-husband's last name, depending on her preference.
If your single guest identifies as non-binary, use the honorific "Mx." unless you know they prefer something else.
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Frequently asked questions
Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"
Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez" Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"
Outer envelope: "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson" Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"
If the guest is over 18, use "Mr." Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery" Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"
You don't need to indicate a plus-one on the outer envelope. Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen" Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"
