Bridesmaids: Fancy Or Fun?

Bridesmaids are members of the bride's party at traditional wedding ceremonies. They are usually close friends or relatives of the bride, and their main role is to support the bride on her wedding day. While some brides still opt for a traditional bridal party, others are choosing to forgo this custom. This could be due to a variety of reasons, such as the cost, the stress of choosing only a few bridesmaids, or simply because they prefer a more intimate and less traditional wedding. Ultimately, the decision to have bridesmaids or not is a personal choice that depends on the couple's preferences and the type of celebration they want.

Bridesmaids' attire

Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unmarried young women of marriageable age, and their dresses were selected by the bride. In modern times, however, the bride often chooses a mix of married and unmarried women of varying ages, and the attire may be chosen collaboratively. While some bridesmaids' duties, such as assisting the bride and providing emotional support, are considered essential, the dress code is more flexible.

When selecting bridesmaids' attire, it is important to consider the comfort and financial situation of the bridesmaids. While it is not necessary for all bridesmaids to wear identical outfits, coordinating colours or styles can create a cohesive look. Additionally, it is worth noting that bridesmaids' expenses, such as clothing and travel costs, are typically not covered by the bride's family, so choosing affordable options is essential.

To ensure that all bridesmaids feel comfortable and confident, it is advisable to avoid extremely low-cut or restrictive garments. It is also important to consider the weather conditions and choose appropriate fabrics and styles. For example, a lightweight dress may be more suitable for a summer wedding, while a warmer option may be preferred for a winter ceremony.

Ultimately, the decision regarding bridesmaids' attire should reflect the bride's personal style and the overall theme of the wedding. Whether opting for matching dresses or a more eclectic mix, the key is to ensure that the bridesmaids feel comfortable and happy, as they play a crucial role in supporting the bride throughout the planning process and on the big day itself.

Cost of bridesmaids

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. The costs of being a bridesmaid can vary depending on the couple's expectations and the specific duties assigned to the bridal party. Here is a breakdown of some common expenses that bridesmaids may incur:

Bridesmaid Dress and Accessories

Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own dresses, which can range from a few hundred to thousands of dollars depending on the style and designer. Some brides may request that all bridesmaids wear the same dress, while others may allow more flexibility in dress choices. Additionally, purchasing wedding day accessories like shoes and jewellery usually falls on the bridesmaids as well.

Bridal Shower or Wedding Shower

The bridal shower is typically hosted and paid for by the maid of honour, but bridesmaids may also be expected to contribute financially, especially if there are costs for food, decorations, or activities. In some cases, the couple or the bride's family may also contribute to the cost of the bridal shower.

Bachelorette Party

Bridesmaids typically plan and pay for the bachelorette party, covering their own costs at a minimum. Sometimes, bridesmaids may even cover the entire trip for the bride, including travel, lodging, decorations, and activities. However, it is important to communicate with the entire group to discuss financial expectations and devise a system that works for everyone.

Wedding Day Hotel and Travel

Traditionally, bridesmaids are responsible for their own travel and accommodation costs for the wedding. However, some brides may offer to split these costs or provide discounted hotel room blocks for the bridal party.

Wedding Day Hair and Makeup

The topic of who pays for hair and makeup services for the bridal party is often up for discussion. If the bride wants the bridesmaids to have their hair and makeup professionally done, it is considered a thoughtful gesture to cover the bill as a gift. Alternatively, the couple may offer to split the bill or leave it as an optional expense for the bridesmaids.

Wedding Gifts

While not mandatory, it is customary for bridesmaids to give a gift to the couple. If money is tight, they can opt for a small gift from the couple's registry or pool funds with other bridesmaids to purchase a group gift.

Pre-Wedding Events and Attire

There may be additional costs associated with pre-wedding events such as engagement parties or themed bachelorette parties. Bridesmaids may need to purchase new outfits or accessories for these occasions.

Wedding Day Essentials

Bridesmaids are also responsible for bringing their own wedding day essentials and must-haves for getting ready, such as toiletries, medicine, touch-up makeup, and a change of clothes.

Flowers and Bouquets

While the bride and her family are expected to pay for the bridesmaid bouquets and floral accents like corsages, it is not uncommon for bridesmaids to be asked to contribute financially, especially if there are additional floral costs for the bridal party.

Day-Of Transportation

Transportation to and from the wedding venue and related events is typically the responsibility of the bridesmaids. However, it is logistically easier and better for photos to keep everyone together, so some couples may choose to coordinate and cover these transportation costs.

Emotional Labour

Lastly, it is important to recognise the emotional labour that bridesmaids provide. They offer support and assistance to the bride throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. This includes helping with shopping for the wedding dress, choosing bridesmaid dresses, organising pre-wedding events, and providing practical and emotional support.

In conclusion, the cost of being a bridesmaid can vary significantly depending on the specific circumstances and expectations of the couple. It is essential to have open and transparent conversations about financial expectations to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the financial commitments involved in being part of the bridal party.

Duties of bridesmaids

While there are no set guidelines for the role of a bridesmaid, here is a list of duties that are commonly expected of them:

Pre-Wedding

• Plan and attend pre-wedding parties, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
• Help with wedding planning tasks, such as choosing a wedding dress, selecting bridesmaid dresses, and organising the bachelorette party.
• Offer emotional support to the bride.
• Book travel and accommodation for the wedding.
• Attend the rehearsal dinner.
• Buy a wedding gift for the couple.

On the Wedding Day

• Get ready with the bride and other bridesmaids.
• Assist the maid of honour with any tasks she may need help with.
• Provide snacks and drinks for the bridal party while they get ready.
• Act as a point of contact for guests and vendors.
• Participate in the wedding ceremony by walking down the aisle and standing at the altar.
• Be available for wedding photos.
• Mingle with guests, enjoy the food and drinks, and participate in guest activities such as signing the guest book.
• Help with the send-off by assembling any items that need to be transported out of the reception venue.

Post-Wedding

• Attend any post-wedding events, such as a farewell party or post-wedding brunch.
• Help with returning leftover items to the hotel or vendor.
• Create a digital collection of photos and videos taken by the wedding party.

Choosing bridesmaids

If you are considering sticking with tradition, there are several advantages to having a bridal party. Firstly, it is a way to honour those closest to you and include them in your special day. You can also choose to mix things up with a gender-inclusive bridal party, with bridesmen and a man of honour. Secondly, having bridesmaids means there are more people to share the workload of wedding planning, and they can provide emotional support during what can be a stressful time.

However, there are also several reasons why you may choose not to have bridesmaids. Firstly, if you are planning a small wedding, you may decide that you don't need wedding attendants. Secondly, the cost of having bridesmaids can be a burden for both the bride and the bridesmaids themselves, especially if there are additional expenses such as destination pre-wedding parties. Thirdly, if you have a lot of close friends and family, choosing just a few to be bridesmaids can be difficult and may result in hurt feelings. Finally, the tradition of having bridesmaids may not suit your style of wedding or your personality, and you may prefer to shake things up with a modern twist.

Ultimately, the decision to have bridesmaids or not is a personal one and should reflect who you are and the type of wedding day you want.

Alternatives to bridesmaids

Bridesmaids are a traditional part of weddings, but they are not necessary. Many couples are opting out of the tradition, and there are several alternatives to having bridesmaids. Here are some ideas:

No bridal party:

The trend of party-less weddings has gained popularity in recent years, with 50% of couples over 30 choosing to forego the tradition. This option saves the couple and their friends from additional costs and logistics. It also creates a more inclusive wedding, avoiding the need to choose only a handful of friends to be part of the bridal party.

Honour important people in other ways:

You can still honour your closest friends and family members without having them stand by your side as bridesmaids. Here are some suggestions:

• Call out important people in your program, on your website, or in your speech: Give your loved ones a special shout-out to let them know they are important to you.
• Ask your nearest and dearest to wear a certain colour: Instead of matching bridesmaid dresses, you can ask your special people to wear a specific colour to stand out at the wedding.
• Give corsages, boutonnieres, anklets, or other special markers to your would-be bridal party: This way, they feel honoured, and others can also identify them as your closest friends.
• Invite your special someones to a night-before-the-wedding dinner: Instead of a rehearsal dinner with the bridal party, you can do the ceremony prep on your own and then join your closest friends and family for an intimate dinner and speeches.
• Honour your friends with a special day out: Take your closest friends out for a spa day or a nice brunch on the morning of the wedding.
• Have your pals with you in your dressing room on the big day: Even if they are not in matching outfits, your closest friends can still get ready with you and be by your side as you prepare for the ceremony.
• Ask your friends to speak or do readings: If you have confident friends who enjoy public speaking, you can ask them to give toasts or share readings during the wedding ceremony.

Mixed bridal parties:

If you still want to have a bridal party but want to move away from the traditional bridesmaids' role, you can opt for a mixed bridal party. This means including people of different genders, such as male friends or brothers, in your bridal party. Roles like "bridesman" and "man of honour" are becoming more common, allowing you to honour your closest friends regardless of their gender.

Alternative roles and responsibilities:

If you want to include bridesmaids but wish to make some changes to their traditional roles and responsibilities, you can consider the following:

• No matching outfits: You can ask your bridesmaids to wear mismatched dresses or select their own gowns instead of adhering to a uniform look.
• Alternative bouquet options: Your bridesmaids can carry something other than a traditional flower bouquet. Some unique ideas include books, baskets, fans, sunglasses, or even nothing at all!
• Reduce duties and costs: Discuss with your bridesmaids the amount of time, energy, and money you expect from them, and be open to adjustments. You can offer to cover some costs or reduce responsibilities to make it more manageable for them.

Frequently asked questions