Dad As Best Man: Wedding Tradition Or Innovation?

There are no rules against having your dad as your best man at your wedding. In fact, it's your wedding, and you can choose anyone you want to be your best man. While traditionally the best man was the groom's brother or closest male friend, this is no longer the case. However, there are some considerations to keep in mind, such as the dynamics between your dad and the rest of the wedding party, and whether your bride is comfortable with your dad being so deeply involved in her big day.

There are no rules against it

There are no rules against having your dad as your best man at your wedding. It is your wedding, and you can choose anyone you want to be by your side on your special day. If you want your dad to be your best man, it's important to do so for the right reasons. If they are your best friend or the person you are closest to, then you should definitely choose them.

There are some benefits to having your dad as your best man. For starters, since dads are naturally older, that commands authority and respect from your wedding party. This means that if they ask the wedding party to do something, they will, making your life much easier on the wedding day. You'll have a built-in ringleader for the group when you choose your dad, which can be helpful.

However, the age difference can also be a con for some people, especially if your wedding party includes more people than your best man. Being of a different age means they won't necessarily be on the same page regarding bachelor/bachelorette parties, attire, or silly moments getting ready. The vibe just may not be cohesive depending on the dad and the rest of the group, which can be very awkward for you, your dad, and the rest of the wedding party.

If you do decide to have your dad as your best man, it's important to consider the dynamics of your wedding party. Be sure to think about how everything and everyone will flow together leading up to and on the wedding day. It's also a good idea to discuss the idea with your partner, as your wedding is also their big day, and they may have input on the level of involvement of your dad.

It's becoming more common

This trend is evident in various online forums and wedding planning platforms, where people share their experiences and opinions on the matter. While some may find it unusual or weird, many individuals express their support for the idea, describing it as a lovely, sweet, and incredibly special gesture. Some even share personal stories of their dads serving as their best man or mention celebrity examples, such as Edo Mapelli having his son Wolfie as his best man at his wedding to Princess Beatrice.

The decision to choose one's dad as the best man often stems from a strong father-son relationship and a desire to honour and include them in a meaningful way. It is seen as a way to showcase the unique and privileged position fathers hold in their sons' lives. Additionally, having a father as the best man can bring certain benefits, such as added authority and respect within the wedding party, ensuring everyone stays in line and follows directions.

However, there are also considerations to keep in mind when making this choice. One important factor is the dynamics between the father and the rest of the wedding party, especially if there is a significant age difference. The father may not be on the same page as the younger groomsmen regarding the bachelor party, attire, or lighthearted moments during preparations. It is crucial to assess whether the father will be able to fulfil the traditional duties of the best man, such as planning events, coordinating outfits, and providing support and reassurance to the groom.

Ultimately, the decision to choose one's dad as the best man comes down to personal preference and the dynamics of the wedding party. While it may not be considered traditional, many grooms are opting for this arrangement to honour their fathers and create a unique and meaningful experience on their special day.

Your dad may be more reliable

One of the main duties of the best man is to plan the bachelor party. Depending on your dad's personality and preferences, he may be more inclined to organise a celebration that aligns with your wishes and values. If you're concerned about the potential awkwardness of having your dad plan a wild night out, you could suggest a more mellow, non-traditional celebration or delegate the task to another groomsman. Alternatively, you could suggest a low-key "guy's night out" and then give your friends the freedom to plan their own separate celebration.

Another important duty of the best man is to provide support and reassurance to the groom before and during the wedding. Your dad, as someone who has likely been through the experience of marriage before, may be able to offer a unique perspective and calming presence during this anxious and uncertain time. He can draw on his own experiences to provide guidance and help you navigate any pre-wedding jitters or "cold feet".

Additionally, your dad's age and wisdom can lend authority and respect to the wedding party. As Jamie Chang, a destination wedding planner, notes, "dads are naturally older, that commands authority and respect from your wedding party... You'll have a built-in ringleader for the group when you choose your dad, which can be helpful." This can be especially beneficial if you anticipate any potential conflicts or challenges within the wedding party.

Furthermore, your dad may be more reliable in handling unexpected situations that may arise on the wedding day. A good best man should be able to remain calm and diplomatic, stepping in to restore the focus of the event to the bride and groom if needed. Your dad's life experience and maturity may make him well-equipped to handle any last-minute catastrophes, delays, or family dramas that could distract from the joy of the occasion.

While there are valid considerations to keep in mind, such as the potential impact on wedding party dynamics and the need to discuss the idea with your partner, having your dad as your best man can be a meaningful and reliable choice.

Your dad may be too honest

While there are no fixed rules about who should be the best man at your wedding, and it is absolutely possible to choose your dad for this role, there are some considerations to keep in mind. One of the main benefits of having your dad as your best man is that, due to his age and authority, he can help ensure that your wedding party follows instructions and stays organised. However, his age may also be a drawback if the rest of the wedding party is significantly younger, as he may not be on the same page regarding attire, bachelor/bachelorette parties, or lighthearted moments during preparation.

Another important consideration is the dynamics within the wedding party. Your dad may get along well with the rest of the wedding party and efficiently handle his duties as best man and father of the groom, but this is not guaranteed. It is essential to assess your dad's personality and how well he will fit in with the rest of the group. If your dad is diplomatic and calm under pressure, he can be an excellent problem solver on your wedding day. However, close family members can sometimes be too honest with each other, and your dad may unintentionally project his fears or anxieties about the wedding or marriage. Therefore, it is crucial to ensure that your dad will provide support and reassurance rather than adding to any pre-wedding jitters.

Additionally, the best man traditionally accompanies the maid of honour during certain parts of the wedding, such as leaving the ceremony, posing for photos, and dancing at the reception. If your dad is significantly older than the maid of honour, you may want to consider whether they will be comfortable pairing up.

In conclusion, while it is absolutely possible to choose your dad as your best man, it is important to carefully consider the dynamics and relationships within your wedding party and whether your dad's personality and role will complement those dynamics.

Bachelor party considerations

When it comes to bachelor party considerations, there are a few key things to keep in mind, especially if you're planning to have your dad as your best man. Here are some tips to help you navigate this unique situation:

Guest List

Traditionally, the guest list for a bachelor party includes friends and family of the groom, such as the best man, groomsmen, and other close friends. However, it is entirely up to the groom to decide who attends. If you feel that your dad, as your best man, should be present, you can include him. Alternatively, you could have a separate, more mellow celebration with your dad or skip the bachelor party altogether.

Planning and Hosting

The best man typically hosts and plans the bachelor party, but the groom may also provide input on the type of celebration he wants. It is essential to consider the dynamics of the group and plan activities that everyone will enjoy, especially if there is an age difference between your dad and the other attendees. Remember to take travel arrangements and budgets into account when planning.

Timing and Duration

Bachelor parties usually take place a few weeks to a few months before the wedding and can last for a day or an entire weekend. Avoid hosting the bachelor party on the night before the wedding or any other wedding-related event.

Etiquette

One of the most important aspects of bachelor party etiquette is that the groom pays for nothing. The attendees typically split the expenses evenly or pay for their own share. It is also crucial to respect the wishes of the groom regarding the type of party and any ground rules. Surprises are great, but only if they align with the groom's expectations. Effective communication is key to ensuring everyone is on the same page.

Activities

Bachelor parties often involve drinking, partying, and other adult entertainment. If your dad is your best man, consider whether these activities are suitable for him. You may need to adjust the activities to make him feel comfortable, or you can include him in specific parts of the celebration, like a dinner, and then continue with the wilder activities afterward.

Remember, the most important consideration is what matters most to you. If having your dad as your best man and including him in your bachelor party is essential to you, find ways to make it work, even if it means stepping away from tradition.

Frequently asked questions