Wedding Etiquette: Martha's Guide To Sending Invites

Wedding invitations are the first glimpse guests will have of your big day, so it's important to get them right. According to Martha Stewart, you should send your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to respond and allows you to get a final headcount one to two weeks before the event. Before sending your invitations, you'll need to research how to format the information included on the invite. You'll also need to decide whether to use a professional calligrapher to address your envelopes. If you do, you'll need to get your envelopes to the calligrapher at least two to three weeks in advance.

Send save-the-dates 3-4 months in advance

Save-the-dates are typically sent out 3 to 4 months before the wedding. This gives your guests ample time to plan, especially if they live far away or if you're throwing a destination wedding. It's always better to give your guests as much notice as possible, so they can make the necessary arrangements to attend your big day.

When sending out save-the-dates, make sure the names of the couple getting married and the wedding date are the most prominent details. It's also a good idea to include a note that formal invitations will follow. You don't necessarily need to include the venue, but if you have a wedding website, this is a great opportunity to share the URL so your guests can find more information.

The save-the-date is just the first step in the wedding invitation process. About 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding, you'll want to send out the formal invitations. This gives your guests enough time to respond and allows you to get a reliable head count about one to two weeks before the event. Remember to include a clear RSVP request with a deadline, so you can plan accordingly.

When it comes to the design and format of your save-the-dates and invitations, feel free to get creative! From telegrams to invisible ink, there are many fun and unique ways to excite your guests. However, don't forget to include all the pertinent information, such as the full names of the couple, the hosts' names, the date, time, and place of the ceremony.

Send invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding

Sending your wedding invitations around six to eight weeks before the wedding gives your guests enough time to respond and helps you get a final headcount. This timing also allows you to send save-the-dates three to four months prior to the wedding, which is especially helpful if your guests are scattered across the globe or you're planning a destination wedding.

• Get organised early: Start preparing about a month before your desired send-out date. This includes confirming the addresses and spellings of your guests' names, which can take some time.
• Handwrite the addresses: While calligraphy done by computer directly on the envelope is gaining popularity, it's best to handwrite the addresses or hire a professional calligrapher.
• Provide clear details: Ensure your invitations include the full names of the couple getting married, the hosts' names (if different), and the date, time, and location of the ceremony. Avoid including phrases like "no children" or "adults only" on the invitation card; instead, imply who is invited by the names on the envelope.
• Request RSVPs: Ask guests to respond two to three weeks before the event so you can finalise numbers for your big day.
• Consider using two envelopes: Sending an invitation in an outer and inner envelope ensures that each guest receives a pristine envelope. The outer envelope includes the delivery information, while the inner envelope lists the names of the invited guests in the household, including children.
• Pay attention to postage: Bring a complete invitation to the post office to weigh and determine the correct postage. Many invitations require postage for at least two ounces.
• Hand-cancelling keeps invitations neat: At the post office, request hand-cancelling to prevent machines from damaging your carefully prepared invitations.

Include full names, hosts' names, place and time

When it comes to wedding invitations, few details are as nuanced (and confusing) as the invitations. From the wording to how you address each guest on the envelope, there's a lot to consider.

Wedding invitations should include the full names of the couple getting married, the hosts' names (if they are different from the couple), and the place and time of the ceremony. That's it!

• Get organised about a month before your desired send-out date. Send your invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This allows your guests enough time to respond and helps you get a reliable headcount one to two weeks before the event.
• The address on a wedding invitation should be handwritten. Printed labels are not appropriate, although computer calligraphy directly on the envelope is becoming more popular and acceptable.
• Depending on your handwriting and the level of formality of your wedding, consider hiring a professional calligrapher. Provide them with a neatly printed guest list, including full addresses, titles, and name spellings.
• Guests' names should be written in full on the outer envelopes, avoiding nicknames or initials. Use the appropriate titles, such as addressing married couples as "Mr. and Mrs." For suffixes, write "Mr. Joseph Morales, Jr." or "Mr. Joseph Morales IV".
• Spell out all words in the address, including "Street", "Post Office Box", "Apartment", city and state names, and house numbers smaller than 20.
• The return address is usually printed on the envelope's back flap. While traditional etiquette called for blind embossing, most couples now use the same printing method as their invitations.
• Consider sending your invitations in two envelopes to ensure they remain pristine during delivery. The outer envelope includes all the information for delivery, while the inner envelope lists the names of the invited guests in the household, including children.

Handwrite addresses, don't use printed labels

When it comes to wedding invitations, Martha Stewart advises that the address on the envelope should be handwritten. Printed labels are not appropriate and should be avoided. While computer calligraphy is gaining popularity and acceptability, there is something special about a handwritten address. It adds a personal touch and shows your guests that you've put thought and care into your invitations.

If your handwriting is less than perfect, or if you want to ensure absolute legibility, you may consider hiring a professional calligrapher. A calligrapher can inscribe your envelopes with elegance and precision. However, this service requires additional time and planning. It is recommended that you provide the calligrapher with your envelopes at least two to three weeks in advance, if not earlier. Along with the envelopes, you should supply a neatly printed guest list, including full addresses and social and professional titles (such as "Mr." or "Doctor").

Compiling this guest list and confirming addresses and spellings can be a time-consuming task, so it's essential to start this process early. You don't want to be rushing at the last minute. It's also important to note that, while etiquette for addressing and assembling wedding invitations has become more flexible, there are still some traditional requirements to consider. For instance, guests' names should be written in full on the outer envelopes, avoiding nicknames or initials.

Additionally, when addressing married couples, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. If the wife has kept her maiden name, the names are written in alphabetical order: "Ms. Susan Jones and Mr. John Smith." These small details may seem intricate, but they contribute to the overall impression of your invitations. By taking the time to handwrite your addresses and carefully consider the formatting, you demonstrate your attention to detail and set the tone for your upcoming nuptials.

Include an inner envelope to protect the invite

Wedding invitations are the first glimpse your guests will have of your big day, so it's important to get them right. One way to ensure your invitations arrive in pristine condition is to include an inner envelope. This will protect the invitation from any damage during its journey through the mail. While including an inner envelope is not necessary, it is a good way to ensure your invitations remain in perfect condition.

The outer envelope includes all the information the postal service needs for delivery. This envelope may get torn or soiled in the mail, so it's a good idea to have a second envelope inside. The inner envelope should include the names of the invited guests in the household, including children (whose names do not appear on the outer envelope). This is also where you would include the names of any plus-ones, if you know them.

When assembling your invitations, place the invitation at the bottom, print side up. You can place a sheet of tissue paper over it to prevent smearing. Then, stack any other inserts, such as a map, reception card, or reply card, on top of the invitation, in order of size (smallest on top). The reply card should be placed under the flap of its envelope, which should be pre-printed with the mailing address and stamped. Insert everything into the inner envelope with the print side up, so that when guests open the envelope, they will see the lettering.

Finally, slip the unsealed inner envelope into the outer envelope with the names facing the back flap. Be sure to bring a completed invitation to the post office to have it weighed, as many require postage for at least two ounces. You don't want your carefully assembled invitations to be held up because of insufficient postage!

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