Ring Bearer Age: Can A Ten-Year-Old Do The Job?

A ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, usually between the ages of three and eight. However, there is no set age limit, and the role can be given to anyone the couple wants to include in their wedding. While a ring bearer is not necessary to get the couple formally hitched, they have an important responsibility: delivering the rings. If you're considering having a ten-year-old as your ring bearer, it's worth noting that some consider this age too old for the role, as it may be preferable to have someone younger who will be seen as cute. However, others argue that a ten-year-old is old enough to have a conversation about the role and decide if they want to participate. Ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide, and a ten-year-old can certainly be included as a ring bearer if that is what the couple wishes.

The role of a ring bearer

The ring bearer is typically a boy, but girls can also take on this role. The ring bearer usually stands on the groom's side if they are a boy, and with the bridesmaids if they are a girl. The ring bearer is often a close relative or friend of the couple, such as the son of a sibling, cousin, or friend.

While the ring bearer traditionally carries the rings on a pillow, this can be replaced with something more creative and personal, such as a softball glove, a box, a ring dish, or a banner. To avoid the risk of losing the rings, some couples choose to have the ring bearer carry fake rings, while the best man or maid of honour carries the real ones.

In addition to carrying the rings, the ring bearer may also participate in other wedding activities such as the wedding shower or rehearsal dinner. The ring bearer's parents are typically responsible for explaining the ring bearer's duties to their child, paying for their outfit and accessories, and attending pre-wedding events.

Age range for a ring bearer

A ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children. Traditionally, ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight years old. This age range ensures the child is mature enough to handle the ring-bearer role. However, you can choose a child younger than three but should speak with the child's parents first to see if they can escort the child down the aisle.

If you want to have a child that's ten years old or older participate, consider them for a junior groomsman role, which has a little more responsibility and involvement in pre-wedding events, like the wedding shower or rehearsal dinner. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what age your ring bearer is as long as it's a role that you think the chosen person will enjoy.

If you're unsure whether a child is too old to be a ring bearer, consider asking them. They are old enough to communicate whether they feel comfortable with the role or not. It's also a good idea to ask their parents, who may have a sense of whether the child would enjoy being a ring bearer or not.

If you don't want to include children in your wedding, you can assign the role of ring bearer to an adult. Aunts, uncles, and grandparents can be ring bearers, and it's a good solution if you prefer to have an adults-only ceremony.

Choosing a ring bearer

Age

Traditionally, ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight. This age range ensures the child has the maturity to handle the responsibilities of a ring bearer. However, you can choose a younger child or someone older, such as a junior groomsman, if you prefer. If you opt for a younger child, consider having their parents escort them down the aisle or including them in a wagon or small car. Older children, around pre-teen age, can also participate as ushers or junior groomsmen.

Relationship

Ring bearers are typically young family members or children of those closest to the couple, such as the maid of honour or best man. You can also include your own children in this role if they are young enough. If you don't know any suitable children, consider breaking with tradition and choosing an adult friend or family member, such as grandparents, or even your pet!

Number of Ring Bearers

You can have more than one ring bearer if you wish. Multiple ring bearers can add a cute and unique touch to your wedding. Older children can pull younger ones in a wagon, or each attendant can have a different role, such as carrying the rings or holding a sign.

Parents' Involvement

Remember that the ring bearer's parents will have a lot of behind-the-scenes work, so it's important to discuss this responsibility with them beforehand. They will need to purchase the child's wedding attire, prepare them for the day, manage their behaviour, and handle any potential meltdowns. If the child's parents are already in your wedding party, this may be an easier task for them.

Ask the Right Way

Be sure to get permission from the parents before asking a child to be your ring bearer. You can then get creative with how you ask the child, perhaps with a new toy, a sweet card, or their favourite treat.

Other Considerations

If you are inviting other children to your wedding, it is customary to invite the ring bearer to the reception as well. Seat them with their parents or arrange a kids' table with a babysitter, kid-friendly food, and activities. If your reception is adults-only, work with the parents to find a babysitter and offer to cover the cost.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose someone who you and your partner are close to and who will enjoy being a part of your special day.

What does a ring bearer wear?

Deciding what your ring bearer wears on your wedding day is one of the most enjoyable parts of the planning process. While there are no hard and fast rules, there are some common approaches to dressing your ring bearer.

The most common method is for the ring bearer to wear a miniature version of the groom's outfit, including the tuxedo jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or long tie, pocket square, studs and cufflinks. This allows the ring bearer to stand out from the groomsmen while still coordinating with the groom.

Another option is for the ring bearer to wear the same as the groomsmen, allowing him to feel like "one of the guys". In this case, the groomsmen’s accessories, such as long ties, bow ties and pocket squares, can be matched with the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses.

If you are having an outdoor wedding, you may prefer a no-jacket look, and the ring bearer can wear dress pants with suspenders and a bow tie or a vest with a bow tie and a coordinating hat. For a beach wedding, a more casual attire such as a linen shirt, lightweight jacket, bow tie, suspenders, and shorts may be more suitable.

If the wedding is formal, a classic ring bearer suit is a popular choice, including a dress shirt, jacket, and necktie or bow tie. A miniature tuxedo is also a cute option for a formal wedding and will certainly bring a smile to your guests' faces.

For a unique look, you could choose a completely different outfit for the ring bearer that stands out from the groom and groomsmen.

Duties of a ring bearer

The ring bearer is usually a young boy, typically between the ages of three and ten. The role of the ring bearer is to carry the wedding rings down the aisle to the altar, usually on a pillow.

Attire

The ring bearer should wear a comfortable outfit, with the option of formalwear, such as a tux, suspenders, a bow tie, or a hat. The outfit should be age-appropriate and complementary to the wedding theme.

Rehearsal

The ring bearer should attend the wedding rehearsal if invited. This will help familiarise them with the setting and their duties, easing any nerves on the wedding day.

Coordination with Parents

The parents of the ring bearer play a crucial role. They should be involved in planning logistics, such as snack and nap times, and handling any meltdowns or behavioural issues. It is customary for the parents to purchase the ring bearer's attire, although the couple may offer to cover the cost.

Walking Down the Aisle

The ring bearer usually walks down the aisle after the bridesmaids and groomsmen, carrying the ring pillow with the wedding rings. If there is a flower girl, the ring bearer typically precedes her. The ring bearer may walk alone or alongside the flower girl if it is more manageable for the children.

Presenting the Rings

The ring bearer carries the rings to the altar and hands them to the officiant, best man, or maid of honour. It is common to use fake rings as a precaution, with the best man or maid of honour holding the real rings.

Standing with the Wedding Party

Depending on their comfort level, the ring bearer can stand with the wedding party or be seated with their parents or a family member during the ceremony.

Photographs

The ring bearer should be present for photographs with the wedding party after the ceremony.

Grand Entrance

Depending on their age and comfort, the ring bearer may join the grand entrance and be introduced with the wedding party.

Creativity

While the traditional ring bearer pillow is commonly used, couples can get creative with how the rings are presented. Alternatives include a box, a ring dish, a briefcase labelled "Ring Security", or even a softball glove if that fits the wedding theme.

Multiple Ring Bearers

There is no restriction to having just one ring bearer. Couples can include multiple ring bearers, who can walk together or have different roles, such as carrying the rings or holding a sign.

Age and Gender

While the role is traditionally assigned to a young boy, couples can break away from this standard and choose a girl or an adult to be the ring bearer.

Opting Out

If a couple prefers to skip the tradition, they can assign the ring bearer duties to the best man or maid of honour.

Frequently asked questions