Ring Bear Or Ring Bearer: What's The Confusion?

Are you saying ring bear or ring bearer? The latter, it's ring bearer. A ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, usually between the ages of three and eight. They walk down the aisle before the bride, carrying the wedding rings on a pillow, and present them to the couple during the ceremony. It's a symbolic role, adding a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding.

The role of a ring bearer in a wedding

A ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, usually boys, aged between 3 and 10. However, this is not a strict rule, and the role can be performed by anyone the couple chooses, including girls, adults, or even pets! The ring bearer is responsible for carrying the couple's wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony, usually on a decorative pillow, and presenting them to the bride and groom or the best man/woman.

The ring bearer's role is symbolic and adds a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding. As the rings represent the couple's commitment to each other, entrusting a young child with this responsibility symbolizes hope for a bright and joyful future together. The ring bearer usually walks down the aisle ahead of the flower girl or immediately before the bride, and they may also stand with the wedding party during the ceremony or sit with their parents if they are too young.

While the role of the ring bearer is traditionally given to a young boy, couples can choose to break from tradition and select a girl or even a pet to perform this role. It is also not necessary to have a ring bearer at all, and the best man or another member of the wedding party can be entrusted with the rings instead.

If the couple chooses to have a ring bearer, it is important to select someone who has a close relationship with the couple, such as a niece, nephew, or child of a close friend. This creates a personal connection and makes the role more meaningful for both the child and the couple. It is also important to consider the child's temperament, maturity, and ability to handle the pressure of being in front of a large crowd.

In terms of attire, the ring bearer's outfit should complement the wedding party's outfits and be comfortable for the child to wear, taking into account the weather and venue conditions. The ring bearer's parents are typically responsible for paying for the outfit and accessories, but the couple may offer to pay if they have specific, expensive requirements.

To prepare for their role, the ring bearer should attend the wedding rehearsal and any pre-wedding events to become familiar with their duties and the wedding party members. They should also practice walking down the aisle with the ring pillow to build their confidence. On the wedding day, the ring bearer will walk down the aisle, carrying the ring pillow with the wedding rings attached, and present the rings to the best man or the couple when the time comes to exchange rings.

The history of the ring bearer tradition

The tradition of the ring bearer has been around for a long time in many countries, although its exact origins are unclear. One of the most common beliefs regarding ring bearers is that the tradition began in Ancient Egypt, where it was common for treasured jewels to be carried on ornamental pillows during celebrations, especially wedding ceremonies.

During medieval times in Northern Europe, the bride's wedding ring was often presented to her on the tip of a sword. In this era, pillows were rare, so wealthy families replaced the swords with pillows as a symbol of their riches. Page boys, who were young children, would carry the bride's train and a prayer book, in addition to the ring pillow.

The role of the ring bearer grew in popularity during the Victorian Era, when boys' suits consisted of velvet jackets, short trousers, and round linen collars. Today, the ring bearer usually wears a tuxedo that matches the other groomsmen. The ring bearer is typically a young boy who is a family member or a friend of the couple, often under the age of ten.

Modern ring bearers don't always carry the wedding rings down the aisle. Many couples opt for symbolic rings or other items, such as signs or boxes, to be carried instead.

How to choose a ring bearer

A ring bearer is a wedding party role usually given to young children, who walk down the aisle carrying the wedding rings on a pillow or in a box. They are often accompanied by a flower girl.

Decide if you want children at your wedding

Even if you've decided on a kid-free guest list, you can still have a ring bearer. If you do want children at your wedding, you could make an exception for the wedding party if you don't know any children.

Choose a child of an appropriate age

Ring bearers are usually between the ages of three and eight. Younger children may be shy or nervous, and are more likely to be unpredictable. Older children may be more comfortable and better able to handle the responsibility.

Create a list of potential ring bearers

If you have your own children, or your siblings or close friends do, they could be good candidates. The ring bearer is usually someone the couple is close to, such as the child of an honour attendant, family member, or close friend.

Ask the parents

The ring bearer's parents will have a lot of behind-the-scenes work to do, including buying the child's wedding attire, so it's important to make sure they're happy to take on this responsibility. You should also ask the parents' permission before asking a child to be your ring bearer.

Ask the child

If the child is old enough, talk to them to see if they want to be a ring bearer. This allows them to make their own decision about whether they want to take on the role. If they don't, you could ask them to hand out ceremony programs instead, which has fewer responsibilities.

Decide how many ring bearers you want

It's fine to have more than one ring bearer if you want. Older children can pull younger ones in a wagon, or one attendant can carry the rings while another holds a sign.

Choose the ring bearer's outfit

The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the rest of the wedding party, matching the level of formality and colour scheme. For a young child, consider what they'll be most comfortable in.

Decide whether the ring bearer carries the real rings

You may want to give the ring bearer fake rings to carry, especially if they're very young. If you do want them to carry the real rings, ask your wedding planner or a member of the wedding party to hand them to the ring bearer right before the ceremony starts.

What does a ring bearer wear?

The ring bearer is the person who holds the rings until they are needed at a wedding. They are usually a young child, typically between the ages of three and eight.

There are a few different approaches to dressing a ring bearer for a wedding. The most common option is for the ring bearer to wear a miniature version of the groom's outfit, including the tuxedo jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or long tie, pocket square, studs and cufflinks. This allows the ring bearer to stand out from the groomsmen while still coordinating with the groom.

Another option is for the ring bearer to wear the same outfit as the groomsmen, which can make them feel like "one of the guys". This might include a tuxedo or suit with accessories such as a long tie, bow tie and pocket square that match the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses.

If the ring bearer is too small for a tuxedo, they can wear just the pants, a shirt, a bow tie, suspenders and shoes. Alternatively, a toddler's tuxedo can be purchased, although this is less common as toddlers may struggle to carry out their ring-bearing duties.

The ring bearer's outfit should be chosen with the formality of the wedding in mind, and it is traditional for the child's parents to pay for their outfit and accessories.

Responsibilities of a ring bearer

The ring bearer is a cherished part of any wedding ceremony. Here is a detailed breakdown of their responsibilities:

Before the Wedding

The ring bearer should attend the wedding rehearsal and any pre-wedding events to familiarise themselves with their role and the wedding party members. They should also try on their outfit and practice walking down the aisle with the ring pillow to boost their confidence on the day. It is also important to ensure that the ring bearer and their parents are aware of the wedding day schedule and the timing of their role in the ceremony.

During the Wedding

On the wedding day, the ring bearer will walk down the aisle, usually ahead of the flower girl or immediately before the bride, carrying the ring pillow with the wedding rings attached. They should walk slowly and confidently. Once at the altar, the ring bearer will present the ring pillow to the best man or the couple when it is time to exchange rings. After presenting the rings, the ring bearer will typically stand with the wedding party for the duration of the ceremony. However, if the ring bearer is very young, they may be seated with their parents.

The Ring Bearer's Appearance

The ring bearer's attire should complement the wedding party's outfits and be comfortable for the child, taking into account the weather and venue conditions. Traditionally, a young boy aged between 4 and 8 wears a small tux with trousers, but creative variations include suspenders, a bow tie, a cute belt, and a hat.

Who Can Be a Ring Bearer?

Ring bearers are typically young children between the ages of 3 and 8, but this is not a strict rule. The role can be assigned based on maturity and ability to handle responsibility. The ring bearer is often a close relative or friend of the couple, such as a niece, nephew, or child of a close friend.

The Rings

The ring bearer usually carries the wedding rings on a pillow, but this is not required. Couples can choose to secure the rings to a ribbon tied to their favourite poem or scripture, place them in a bouquet, or even carry them in a briefcase labelled "Ring Security". To avoid the risk of losing the rings, many couples opt to have the ring bearer carry fake rings, while the best man or maid of honour carries the real rings.

The Procession

The ring bearer usually walks after the bridesmaids and groomsmen and before the flower girl, who introduces the bride. However, there is no specific rule for the wedding party lineup, and it is also adorable for the flower girl and ring bearer to walk down the aisle together.

Frequently asked questions