Hand-Delivering Wedding Invites: A Personal Touch?

Hand-delivering wedding invitations is a topic that sparks debate. While it used to be considered an etiquette no-no, contemporary wedding rules have become more relaxed, and hand-delivering invitations is now generally accepted. This is especially true in certain cultures, such as in the Philippines, where the wedding party expects the couple to hand-deliver invitations as a sign of respect. Hand-delivering invitations can add a personal touch, and it is also a practical option for couples who want to save time and money. However, it is important to be mindful of when and how the invitations are delivered to avoid any awkward situations.

It is acceptable to hand-deliver wedding invitations

If you choose to hand-deliver your wedding invitations, make sure that you are delivering them directly to the recipient in person. It is not appropriate to leave invitations on a co-worker's desk or slip them into a mailbox. When delivering to a couple, you can give the invitation to just one person. It is also important to avoid handing out invitations in front of someone who is not invited, as this can create an awkward situation.

In some cultures, hand-delivering wedding invitations is expected and considered a sign of respect. For example, in the Philippines, the bride and groom typically hand-deliver invitations to the principal sponsors or witnesses of the wedding.

While the traditional etiquette may have been to send invitations by mail, contemporary wedding rules have become more relaxed, and hand-delivering invitations is now widely accepted. This is especially true for couples having a small, intimate wedding with only a handful of select guests.

If you do choose to hand-deliver your wedding invitations, be sure to give guests enough time to prepare for the event and make any necessary travel arrangements.

Face-to-face delivery is preferred

Hand-delivering wedding invitations is a great way to add a personal touch to your wedding preparations and ensure your invitations don't get overlooked. Face-to-face delivery is preferred over simply leaving the invitation on a desk or in a mailbox. This way, you get to say a few words to each guest while presenting the invitation, making the invitee feel special and honoured.

When delivering the invitations, it's important to meet with only the people who are invited to your wedding. Avoid handing out invitations in front of someone who is not invited, as this can create an awkward situation and potentially hurt their feelings. It's also advisable to deliver the invitation when the recipient is alone, to avoid any potential social faux pas.

Hand-delivering invitations is a sensible option for couples who want to save time and money. It is a faster alternative to mailing, and you can be sure that your invitations will reach the recipients intact, especially if they have intricate designs or embellishments.

In some cultures, hand-delivering wedding invitations is expected and considered a sign of respect. For example, in Armenian culture, it is customary to hand-deliver all wedding invitations, and the act of delivering them is seen as a very special experience.

If you choose to hand-deliver your wedding invitations, remember to include a self-addressed and stamped RSVP card. This way, you give your guests the option to respond by mail if they prefer.

Avoid delivering in front of uninvited guests

Hand-delivering wedding invitations is a great way to add a personal touch to your special day. However, it's important to avoid delivering them in front of uninvited guests to prevent any potential awkwardness or hurt feelings. Here are some tips to avoid such a situation:

• Be discreet: When hand-delivering invitations, be mindful of your surroundings. Choose a private moment to give the invitation to your guest, away from uninvited guests or those not included in the invitation. This ensures that you avoid any uncomfortable situations and respect the privacy of your invited guests.
• Plan ahead: If you know that certain guests are not invited to your wedding, try to hand-deliver invitations when you are certain they won't be present. This could mean delivering the invitation at a different location or waiting until you know they are unavailable. This proactive approach will help you avoid any potential confrontations or embarrassing moments.
• Communicate with your guests: If you are unable to find a private moment to deliver the invitation, communicate your intentions to the invited guest beforehand. You can send them a message or give them a quick call to arrange a time and place to meet. This way, you can ensure the invitation is delivered discreetly, and your guest will appreciate the extra effort you took to meet with them.
• Provide clear instructions to your wedding party: If you have a wedding party, ensure they are aware of your wishes to avoid delivering invitations in front of uninvited guests. They can be your eyes and ears on the ground, helping to identify moments when it's appropriate to deliver invitations and preventing any accidental slip-ups.
• Consider sending invitations by mail: While hand-delivering adds a personal touch, there is always a risk of encountering uninvited guests. If you want to avoid this situation altogether, consider sending your invitations by mail. This traditional approach ensures privacy and allows you to reach your guests without any potential awkwardness.

Remember, the most important thing is to respect the feelings of your guests, both invited and uninvited. By being mindful and taking the necessary precautions, you can avoid any uncomfortable situations and focus on celebrating your special day with your loved ones.

Include a self-addressed and stamped RSVP card

Hand-delivering wedding invitations is a great way to add a personal touch to your special day. It is a sensible option for couples who want to save time and money, and it ensures that handcrafted invitations reach their recipients intact. When hand-delivering invitations, it is important to give guests enough time to prepare and respond, and to avoid causing any awkwardness by inviting only certain members of a family or friend group.

Now, let's talk about why including a self-addressed and stamped RSVP card is essential:

It's Good Etiquette

Wedding invitation etiquette dictates that you provide your guests with a stamped and self-addressed envelope for their responses. It is considered rude to make your guests pay for postage when sending their RSVPs, and it may leave a bad impression. Showing good manners and consideration for your guests is always a good idea.

It Increases the Chances of a Response

By providing a stamped and addressed RSVP card, you are making it as easy as possible for your guests to respond. Many people don't have stamps on hand, and having to buy or borrow one might cause a delay in their response or even result in them forgetting to send it. A stamped and addressed RSVP card removes this barrier and increases the likelihood of receiving timely responses.

It Saves You Time and Effort

While it might take some time to stamp and address each RSVP envelope, it is well worth the effort. Without pre-addressed and stamped RSVP cards, you may spend hours tracking down guests' responses later on. Including these cards with your invitations is a small investment of time that will pay off in the long run, ensuring a smoother planning process.

It's Cost-Effective

Although adding postage to each RSVP envelope will incur some cost, it is a relatively small expense in the grand scheme of wedding spending. A first-class stamp costs just 50 cents, and you can save money by opting for a postcard RSVP, which costs 35 cents to mail. This small cost is worth it to ensure your guests can respond without hassle and to give you peace of mind.

It Shows Your Guests You Care

Your wedding guests are taking time off work, travelling to your venue, and celebrating your special day with you. Some may be purchasing gifts or contributing to your wedding in other ways. Spending 50 cents on a stamp to make it easier for them to respond to your invitation is a small gesture that shows you appreciate their time, effort, and participation in your wedding.

Timing: at least one month ahead

Hand-delivering wedding invitations is a great way to add a personal touch and make your invitees feel special and honoured. It is also a sensible option for couples who want to save time and money, as well as those who want to ensure their handcrafted invitations reach their recipients intact.

When to hand-deliver:

Traditionally, invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. However, when hand-delivering invitations, it is acceptable to deliver them no less than one month ahead. This still gives your guests enough time to prepare, make travel arrangements, and respond.

Do not put off delivering the invitations for longer than one month in advance, as this is considered poor etiquette. Always remember to give your guests enough time to make their necessary preparations.

Other considerations:

Be careful when delivering the invitations to avoid any awkward situations or hurt feelings. Make sure you only meet with the people who are invited to your wedding. Avoid handing out invitations in the presence of someone who is not invited.

Frequently asked questions