Wedding Guest List: Inviting Specific People With Care

Wedding invitation wording can be tricky, but the good news is that the rules of wedding invitation etiquette are not that complicated. The most important rule is to create a beautiful wedding invitation that represents you, your love, and the big day while also communicating the vital details of the wedding.

The first line on a wedding invitation usually names the hosts of the event. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, this line can be omitted. The next line is the request to attend, letting guests know exactly what they're being invited to. This is followed by the names of the couple, usually displayed in larger text. The date and time come next, with traditional wedding invitation wording requiring these to be spelled out in full, while modern invites often use numerical figures. The location is also included, along with the full street address, including the state and zip code. If the reception is at a different venue, this can be included on a separate details card.

Other optional information that can be included on a wedding invitation is the dress code and an insert card with additional details such as registry information or backup venue in case of bad weather. It is also important to include a return address on the envelope and postage on the response cards.

When deciding on the guest list, it is important to invite the people you love and who bring joy to your life. Don't feel obligated to invite people you've lost touch with or those you don't know well, such as coworkers or distant relatives. Consider your budget and venue when creating your guest list, and don't be afraid to have an adults-only wedding or limit the number of plus-ones. Remember, it's your day, so make sure the people you invite are those who will make it special.

Include the names of the couple

Including the names of the couple is a crucial element of any wedding invitation. Here are some tips and guidelines to ensure you do this correctly and avoid any etiquette mishaps:

Names First

Traditionally, the bride's name precedes the groom's name. However, this is not a hard-and-fast rule, especially for same-sex couples, where either name can go first or you can opt for alphabetical order. For formal invitations issued by the bride's parents, use the bride's first and middle name, followed by the groom's full name and title. If the couple is hosting, their titles are optional.

Formality

The level of formality of your wedding will dictate the style in which you write the couple's names. For formal invitations, write out names and dates in full (e.g. "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon"). For more casual affairs, numerals are fine (e.g. "Saturday, 15 September 2021, 4:30 pm").

Married Couple

If the couple shares a last name, the traditional approach is to use "Mr. and Mrs. [First Name Last Name]." For a more modern take, drop the honorifics and simply use their first and last names, for example, "Jane and John Doe."

Different Last Names

If the couple has different last names, write the titles and names separately. For example, "Mr. James Smith and Mrs. Jane Jones." If the wife has hyphenated her name, the invitation could read, "Mr. James Smith and Mrs. Jane Jones-Smith."

Unmarried Couple

For unmarried couples living together, the invitation could read "Mr. James Smith and Ms. Jane Jones." If the couple does not live together, you can send the invitation to one person and give them a plus one, or send separate invitations to each individual.

Honours and Titles

If either member of the couple has a title, such as "Dr." or "Reverend," this should precede their name. Military titles can also be used, for example, "Lieutenant Beth March and Mr. Greg Wharton."

Hyphenated Names

If one person has a hyphenated married name, list their title and full name, followed by the other person's title and name. For example, "Mr. Matthew Vargas and Ms. Sofia Townsend-Vargas."

Informal Style

For a more casual approach, you can simply use the couple's first and last names without titles, for example, "Adam and Ruben Martinez."

And Family

If you are inviting the couple and their family, you can add "and Family" after their names, or simply write "The [Last Name] Family."

Inner Envelope

If your invitation has an inner envelope, you can include the individual names of family members on this, rather than the outer envelope.

Include the names of the hosts

Including the names of the hosts on a wedding invitation is a key element of wedding invitation etiquette. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding and are named at the top of the invitation. However, nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for multiple sets of parents or the couple themselves to host the wedding and be listed as such on the invitation.

If the bride's parents are hosting, the invitation might begin with "Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Timothy Williams request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter..." or "Mr. and Mrs. Christopher and Sarah Williams invite you to share in the joy of their daughter's wedding...".

If both sets of parents are hosting, the invitation could start with "Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wong and Mr. and Mrs. Adam Hollis request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children..." or "Aaron and Alisha Wong, together with Adam and Beatrice Hollis, invite you to join them in celebrating the union of their children...".

If the couple is hosting, the invitation might simply state the names of the couple, such as "Emma and Jax invite you to share in the joy of their wedding..." or "Together with their families, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company at their wedding...".

In any case, it is important to consider who is contributing financially to the wedding and to be as considerate as possible to those helping with the nuptial plans.

Provide reception information

If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, you can simply say "reception to follow" or "dinner and dancing to follow". If the reception is at a different location, you can include the full address and other pertinent information on a separate details card tucked in with your main invitation.

If the reception is elsewhere, the location goes on a different line. Include the time if the wedding reception is not immediately following the ceremony.

Very formal invitations include this information on a separate card. Otherwise, it can be printed on the wedding invitation itself if there is room.

If you're not serving a full meal, you might want to let guests know by saying something like: "Join us after the ceremony for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and dancing."

Examples

• "Reception immediately following the ceremony"
• "Dinner and dancing to follow"
• "Cake, punch, and merriment to follow" (if you're not serving a full meal)
• "Feasting and merriment to follow"
• "Dining, dancing, and happily ever after to follow"

Specify the date and time

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to get the details right. Here are some tips to help you specify the date and time for your big day:

Using Formal Language

Traditionally, dates and times on wedding invitations are written out in full using formal language. For example, if your wedding is on September 15, 2024, at 4:30 p.m., the wording could be "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-four, at half after four in the afternoon." Note that the day of the week and the month are capitalised, and the year is in lowercase.

Time of Day

Be sure to spell out the time of day. For instance, you could say "four o'clock" or "half after four o'clock." The use of a.m. or p.m. is optional. The time period from noon until 4 p.m. is considered afternoon, and evening begins at 5 p.m.

Numerals and Abbreviations

If you're going for a more casual vibe, it's fine to use numerals and abbreviations. For example, "4:30 p.m." or "4:30 p.m. in the afternoon."

Timing Considerations

When specifying the time, it's generally not a good idea to put an earlier time on the invitation than the actual start time. Guests usually arrive on time or even early for weddings. By putting a false start time, you might end up with guests waiting longer than necessary.

Multiple Events

If you have multiple events throughout the day, such as a ceremony followed by a reception, it's not necessary to include all the start times on the invitation. Simply stating "reception to follow" is often enough. If the reception is at a different venue, include the location beneath the ceremony details or on a separate reception card, depending on the space available.

Save-the-Dates

Don't forget to send out save-the-dates! These are typically sent six to eight months before the wedding but can be mailed up to a year in advance if you've finalised your details early. This gives your guests plenty of time to plan and make travel arrangements if needed.

Remember, your wedding invitation is the first glimpse your guests will have into your special day. Take the time to ensure the details are correct and presented in a way that reflects your style and the tone of the celebration.

Include the address of the venue

Including the address of the venue on your wedding invitation is an important step to ensure your guests can find the location. Here are some tips and suggestions for including the address:

The Level of Formality

The level of formality of your wedding will dictate certain aspects of how you present the venue address. For formal and traditional weddings, use figures for dates and years, spell out the month, and use "o'clock" for the time. For less formal invitations, you can use "The Mesdames" for two women and "The Mssrs." for two men.

Address Format

Provide the precise venue name, address, and location of your wedding ceremony, especially if it is different from the reception location. For the address, write out the date and time, followed by the venue's name on one line and the city and state on the next. For formal weddings, the state name is usually spelled out in full rather than abbreviated. The venue's street address is traditionally not included unless the venue is a private residence. Zip codes are also typically omitted.

Additional Information

If your ceremony and reception are at the same venue, you can simply state, "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow." If the reception is at a different location, include the address on a separate line or on a separate insert card, known as a reception card. If you're not serving a full meal, you can include a note such as, "Join us after the ceremony for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and dancing."

Accommodations and Directions

Consider including an accommodations card with your invitation, especially if many of your guests are travelling from out of town. This card can include the full address of the venue and accommodation suggestions. You can also include your wedding website on this card, which can provide detailed driving directions and other important information.

Frequently asked questions