Bridesmaids' Role: Planning Support Or Just Attendance?

Bridesmaids are typically the bride's closest friends and/or family members, and their role is significant throughout the planning process and the wedding day. While the maid of honor usually takes the lead, bridesmaids are expected to support her and the bride in their duties. This includes helping to plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, as well as attending all pre-wedding events. They are also responsible for purchasing their own gowns and accessories, and for providing emotional support to the bride throughout the process. While bridesmaids are not required to help plan the entire wedding, they can offer to assist with specific tasks, such as addressing invitations or searching for vendors. Ultimately, the role of a bridesmaid is to be a good friend to the bride and provide support and assistance as needed.

Emotional support

Bridesmaids can offer emotional support by helping the bride choose her attire for the wedding weekend, including her dress, flowers, and accessories. They can also lend an ear when the bride needs to vent about wedding-related stress or other issues. Bridesmaids should also be positive and offer to help with planning, within reason.

In addition to supporting the bride, bridesmaids should also be there for the maid of honor, who has a lot of responsibilities leading up to the wedding. Offering to help the maid of honor with tasks such as planning the bachelorette party or bridal shower can take some of the burdens off the maid of honor's shoulders.

Overall, being emotionally supportive and available to the bride and wedding party is an important part of a bridesmaid's duties.

Help plan pre-wedding events

Planning pre-wedding events is a key part of a bridesmaid's role. While the maid of honour usually takes the lead, bridesmaids are expected to support her efforts. This includes helping to plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, as well as assisting with decorations and offering ideas.

Planning and Paying

As a bridesmaid, you will be expected to help the maid of honour plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. This could include making reservations, buying decorations, or using your spreadsheet skills to design a detailed itinerary for the group. You might also be asked to chip in for other pre-wedding activities, like an engagement party.

Attending Pre-Wedding Events

Bridesmaids are expected to attend pre-wedding events like the engagement party, wedding shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner. While the bride can't demand that you attend every event, it is considered part of your duty to be there for as many as possible.

Emotional Support

Planning a wedding can be stressful, so a big part of a bridesmaid's role is to provide emotional support to the bride. This could include lending a listening ear, offering planning assistance, or simply being available for a venting session.

Decorations and Logistics

Bridesmaids can help with decorating at events like engagement parties, bridal showers, and reception venues. They can also lend a hand with logistics, such as coordinating communications with vendors and guests on the day of the wedding.

Keeping Records

Bridesmaids can assist the maid of honour by keeping a record of gifts at the bridal shower, so the bride knows who to thank for what. They can also work with the bride and maid of honour to address, seal, and stamp bridal shower thank-you cards.

Other Tasks

Bridesmaids may also be called upon to run necessary errands during the wedding planning process or on the day of the wedding. They can also offer extra hands in making DIY items for the wedding, such as favours or place cards.

Attend pre-wedding events

As a bridesmaid, you are expected to attend all pre-wedding events, including the engagement party, wedding shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. Here are some tips to keep in mind when attending these events:

Engagement Party

The engagement party is usually one of the first pre-wedding celebrations, held around three months after the engagement. It is often an intimate event hosted by the couple's family or friends, or even the couple themselves. As a bridesmaid, you can expect to be involved in the festivities and offer your support to the bride. This event is a great opportunity to connect with the couple's loved ones and share in their joy.

Wedding Shower

The wedding shower, also known as a bridal shower, is typically an all-female celebration honouring the bride. However, some couples opt for a couple's shower, where both the bride and groom are feted together. As a bridesmaid, you may be involved in planning and hosting the event, as well as participating in games and activities. It's a chance to celebrate with the bride and offer your well-wishes.

Bachelorette Party

The bachelorette party is a fun and relaxing pre-wedding event for the bride to celebrate with her bridesmaids and close friends. As a bridesmaid, you are expected to assist in planning and paying for this event, making it a memorable and enjoyable experience for the bride. This could be a trip, a spa day, or any activity that the bride prefers.

Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal is a crucial part of the wedding preparations, and as a bridesmaid, you will be expected to attend and understand your role in the wedding ceremony. The rehearsal dinner usually follows the rehearsal and can be an intimate or larger celebration. It is a time for the couple to thank their wedding party and parents, and it's also an opportunity for the bridesmaids to connect with the couple's families and other wedding guests.

Attending these pre-wedding events is an important part of your role as a bridesmaid. It allows you to offer support and assistance to the bride and contribute to creating memorable experiences leading up to the wedding day. Remember to communicate openly with the bride and other members of the bridal party to ensure that everyone is on the same page regarding expectations and responsibilities.

Assist with wedding-day tasks

On the wedding day, the bridesmaids' duties will be in full swing. Here are some tasks that bridesmaids are expected to help with:

• Getting ready with the other bridesmaids: Plan for an early morning, especially if you're having hair and makeup done professionally. Hair and makeup can take one to two hours per person, and you'll also need time to eat, get dressed, and take pictures before the ceremony.
• Giving your wedding gift to the couple: If you purchase something from the couple's wedding registry, send it to them ahead of time. Otherwise, bring your gift on the wedding day and add it to their gift table at the reception.
• Knowing the wedding day timeline: It's your job to make the couple's life easier, so know where you need to be and when without having to be told.
• Participating in the wedding ceremony: You'll likely be expected to walk down the aisle and stand at the altar with the bride. You may also need to hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony.
• Being available for wedding photos: The photographer will likely take pictures throughout the morning, but the bulk of the photos are usually taken after the ceremony and into cocktail hour. Cooperate with the wedding photographer, planner, and couple to make this process as quick as possible.
• Giving a speech at the reception: The couple may ask you to give a speech ahead of time. If so, prepare your words in advance and be sure to practice.
• Checking in with the newlyweds: Pass them something to eat if they seem busy talking to guests or taking pictures. You can also help with outfit changes, bathroom breaks, and other thoughtful requests.
• Sending off the newlyweds: Your final duty as a bridesmaid is to give the newlyweds a memorable send-off at the end of the night.

Help the bride get ready

As a bridesmaid, you play a significant role in supporting the bride and ensuring she feels calm and relaxed on her wedding day. Here are some detailed tips on how to help the bride get ready:

In the lead-up to the wedding:

It is important to provide emotional support to the bride throughout the entire planning process. Offer to help with any tasks, big or small, and be proactive in your assistance. Communicate openly and honestly about your responsibilities and financial capabilities, especially if you have any limitations.

On the wedding day:

• Assist the bride with her hair, veil, and accessories. Ensure she has everything she needs and double-check her look before she walks down the aisle.
• Help the bride stay hydrated and fed amid the excitement.
• Keep the bride's phone, touch-up lipstick, blotting papers, and other small items with you for easy access during the day.
• If the bride needs to use the restroom, she may require assistance with her dress, especially if it is a ball gown or similar style.
• Be prepared to help the bride change outfits if she has multiple dresses for the day.
• Stay by the bride's side and keep her calm and relaxed, especially if any issues arise.

After the wedding:

Continue to offer support and assistance. Help with gathering personal items, transporting gifts, and participating in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch. Offer to return any rentals to vendors and create a digital collection of photos and videos taken by the wedding party while waiting for the official photos.

Frequently asked questions