Bridesmaids And Their Dresses: Who Pays?

There are many expenses associated with being a bridesmaid, from the bridal shower to hair and makeup, and often bridesmaids are expected to foot the bill for their dresses and accessories. While it is considered good etiquette for the bride to be transparent about financial expectations upfront, it is customary for bridesmaids to cover the cost of their dresses, shoes, and alterations. However, if a bridesmaid is unable to afford the dress, it is considerate for the couple to offer to cover the cost privately to avoid making the other bridesmaids feel slighted.

Should the bride pay for the bridesmaids' dresses?

There are differing opinions on whether the bride should pay for the bridesmaids' dresses. Some people believe that it is customary for bridesmaids to cover the cost of their own dresses, shoes, and alterations. However, others believe that it is a thoughtful gesture for the bride to pay for the dresses, especially if she picks a more expensive option. Ultimately, the decision is up to the bride, but it is essential to consider the financial situation of the bridesmaids and choose an option that is comfortable for everyone.

According to wedding etiquette experts, it is generally expected that bridesmaids will pay for their own dresses and accessories. This includes hair and makeup appointments and transportation to the wedding. However, it is the bride's responsibility to communicate all financial expectations to the bridal party in advance, and bridesmaids should be honest about any monetary constraints.

To navigate this situation successfully, it is recommended that the bride has private conversations about budgets with each member of the bridal party before shopping for dresses. This way, she can gauge how much each bridesmaid is able and willing to spend. With this information, the bride can either limit her choices to dresses within their budget or choose a more expensive dress and subsidize the difference herself.

While it is not mandatory, it is a considerate gesture for the bride to contribute financially, especially if she selects a pricier dress. This can be done by offering to pay for a portion of the dress or providing a flat amount to each bridesmaid to put towards the dress cost. This approach ensures that the bridesmaids do not feel pressured to spend beyond their means.

In conclusion, while there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of who should pay for the bridesmaids' dresses, open and honest communication about budgets and expectations is key. Ultimately, the bride should make an informed decision that takes into account the financial capabilities of her bridal party, and she can choose to contribute if she wishes to do so.

What if a bridesmaid can't afford a dress?

While it is generally expected that bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, it is important to be mindful of their budgets. If a bridesmaid is unable to afford the dress, there are a few options to consider:

Communicate Openly

Firstly, it is crucial to have open and honest communication about budgets from the beginning. The bride should discuss the expected costs with the bridesmaids and be transparent about any financial responsibilities. Bridesmaids, on the other hand, should be upfront about any monetary constraints they may have. This open communication can help avoid any misunderstandings or last-minute surprises.

Offer Alternative Options

If a bridesmaid expresses financial concerns, the bride can offer alternative options. This could include suggesting similar, more affordable dresses or allowing mismatched dresses within a specific colour scheme or style. The bride may also consider covering a portion of the cost for the bridesmaid or offering to pay for alterations or accessories.

Provide Sufficient Time

It is advisable for brides to select the bridesmaid dresses as early as possible. This will give bridesmaids ample time to save up for the dress or explore payment plan options with the store.

Consider Financial Assistance

If the bridesmaid is still unable to afford the dress, the engaged couple may consider stepping in to provide financial assistance. This should be done discreetly to avoid causing any resentment among the other bridesmaids.

Discuss Other Roles

If all attempts to accommodate the bridesmaid's financial situation have been exhausted, it may be necessary to discuss alternative ways for her to be involved in the wedding. She could participate in a reading during the ceremony or help greet guests, allowing her to still feel included without the financial burden of the dress.

What if the bride wants mismatched dresses?

While it is generally expected that bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, accessories, hair, and makeup, it is considered a thoughtful gesture for the bride to pay for these expenses if she can afford to. If the bride is set on a more expensive dress, it is especially considerate for her to cover the cost.

If the bride wants mismatched dresses, there are a few ways to go about it. The first step is deciding which "mismatched route" to take. The bride could choose the same dress style in different colours, the same colour in different styles, or different styles and colours.

If the bride chooses to have her bridesmaids wear the same dress style in different colours, it is important to keep the colour scheme to no more than three variations. This will ensure the bridal party looks cohesive.

If the bride opts for the same colour in different styles, she should allow her bridesmaids to pick their favourite style within the chosen colour. This will ensure comfort and happiness.

If the bride decides to go with different styles and colours, she should stick to the same family and play with different tones and hues or use the palette of her wedding inspiration. It is important to remember that the bridal party will need to complement each other, not match, so limiting the number of different colours and styles is key.

To ensure the bridal party looks cohesive, the bride can choose one design component that ties all the looks together. This could be a rhinestone belt, a hairpiece, or statement jewellery. The bridesmaids' bouquets can also be used to tie the look together.

The bride should also consider creating a vision board to communicate her vision to the bridal party. This can include dress examples, swatches, and inspiration photos. It is also helpful to order fabric swatches to see how different colours, patterns, and textures look next to each other.

Overall, the bride should keep in mind that the mismatched dresses should still fit her wedding's aesthetic, budget, and personal preference.

What if the bridesmaid doesn't like the dress?

While it is generally expected that bridesmaids pay for their own dresses and accessories, it is considered a thoughtful gesture for the bride to pay for the dress or contribute to the cost if she has chosen a more expensive option. If a bridesmaid doesn't like the dress, there are a few ways to approach this.

Firstly, it's important to keep an open mind and remain flexible. Oftentimes, bridesmaids end up liking the dress once they've tried it on. However, if you still dislike the dress, it's essential to provide constructive feedback. Instead of simply stating that you don't like the dress, try to articulate specific aspects you would like to change, such as the shade or neckline. It is also important to be mindful of the bride's preferences and remain respectful of her choices.

If you are the bride, consider the financial situation of your bridesmaids when choosing a dress. Be transparent about the expected costs from the beginning, and be open to suggestions and feedback from your bridesmaids. If a bridesmaid is unable to afford the dress, you may offer to cover the cost or work out a payment plan. Alternatively, you could explore more affordable options or allow for mismatched dresses within a specific colour scheme, providing more flexibility for your bridesmaids. Remember, it's important to prioritise the comfort and financial well-being of your bridesmaids to ensure a harmonious and enjoyable experience for everyone.

What if the bridesmaid is the bride's sister?

There are differing opinions on whether bridesmaids should be expected to pay for their own dresses. Some sources state that it is customary for bridesmaids to cover the cost of their dress, shoes, and alterations. However, it is considered good etiquette for the bride to have a conversation about budgets with her bridesmaids before shopping for dresses. This allows the bride to understand how much each bridesmaid is able to spend and gives her options when choosing dresses. For example, if some bridesmaids have a lower budget, the bride can either limit her choices to dresses within that budget or choose a more expensive dress and subsidize the difference herself.

When the bridesmaid is the bride's sister, there may be an expectation for the bride to pay for the dress, especially if the sister is young and unable to afford it. This was demonstrated in a Reddit post, where a bride offered to buy her maid of honor's dress as she was her sister and too young to afford it herself. Similarly, another commenter stated that they paid for their little sister's dress when she was their maid of honor. However, this may depend on cultural differences, as in some countries, such as the UK, it is standard for the bride to pay for the bridesmaids' dresses.

If the bride's sister is an adult and has the financial means to pay for her own dress, it is still considered a thoughtful gesture for the bride to offer to pay for the dress or contribute towards the cost, especially if the bride has chosen a more expensive option. Ultimately, it is up to the bride to decide whether to pay for her bridesmaids' dresses, but open communication about budgets and expectations is essential to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the arrangements.

Frequently asked questions