Keep Your Bridesmaids Happy: Avoid These Common Pitfalls

how to not piss off your bridesmaids

Being a bride can be stressful, and it's easy to get caught up in the excitement of your big day. However, it's important to remember that your bridesmaids are your closest friends and family, and you should treat them with respect and consideration. Here are some tips to avoid upsetting your bridesmaids and ensure your wedding day is a happy occasion for everyone:

- Be mindful of their finances. Don't force your bridesmaids to spend beyond their means. If you have specific attire or activity requests, be prepared to cover the costs for those who can't afford it.

- Involve them in the process. Choose a colour or fabric and let your bridesmaids select dresses they feel comfortable in and can afford.

- Communicate clearly and respectfully. Let your bridesmaids know what you expect of them upfront, and be considerate of their time and commitments.

- Avoid extreme makeover requests. While you may want picture-perfect photos, don't ask your bridesmaids to undergo drastic changes like surgery or dye jobs.

- Don't be a bridezilla. Remember, it's not all about you. Respect your bridesmaids' time, health, and boundaries.

- Be thoughtful with gifts. Avoid cliché bridesmaid-labelled gifts and opt for something practical and personal instead.

- Don't force hair and makeup. If you want your bridesmaids to have professional styling, be upfront about the costs and offer alternatives.

- Plan reasonable bachelorette activities. Consider their budgets and time constraints when planning pre-wedding events, and don't make everything mandatory.

- Be appreciative. Show your gratitude through actions and gifts to ensure your bridesmaids feel valued.

Remember, open and considerate communication is key to keeping your bridesmaids happy and your wedding planning stress-free!

Characteristics Values
Budget-breaking attire Avoid choosing expensive bridesmaids' dresses unless you're footing the bill
Extreme makeovers Don't require bridesmaids to undergo extreme changes to their appearance
Self-centred behaviour Avoid making demands of bridesmaids with phrases like "But it's MY DAY!"
Unreasonable matching requirements Allow bridesmaids freedom to choose their own hair and makeup looks
Listing requirements Avoid handing out a list of requirements, expectations, or to-dos
Not setting clear expectations upfront Communicate your expectations and costs upfront
Erratic and disorganized communication Choose one route of communication that doesn't require an urgent response and stick to it
Not being considerate of financial limitations Be prepared to cover costs for anyone who can't afford them
Not involving them in attire selection Involve bridesmaids in the process of choosing attire
Forcing hair and makeup Give bridesmaids the option to opt-out of professional hair and makeup services
Booking an over-the-top bachelorette Be mindful that not everyone may be able to afford to attend or take time off work
Asking them to work on the wedding Ensure tasks play to their strengths and are enjoyable for them
Disregarding their significant others Respect plus-one etiquette for bridesmaids
Giving the wrong gift Give practical gifts that can be used beyond the wedding day

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Don't force bridesmaids to pay for expensive hair and makeup services

While it's understandable that you want your bridesmaids to look a certain way on your big day, it's important to be mindful of their financial limitations. Professional hair and makeup services can be costly, and it's not fair to expect your bridesmaids to pay a fortune for them.

If you have a specific look in mind, be upfront about the pricing and offer at least two other options. For example, they could find a less expensive stylist or do their hair and makeup themselves. Giving your bridesmaids a choice will help to reduce any resentment they may feel towards the process.

If having your bridesmaids work with your preferred stylist is important to you, consider recalibrating your wedding budget to cover these services for your whole crew. This will ensure that your bridesmaids aren't forced to spend beyond their means.

Remember, your bridesmaids are your friends and family members first. Treat them with respect and consideration, and be mindful of their financial situation. By doing so, you'll ensure that your wedding day is a positive and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

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Don't make unreasonable demands about their appearance

It's your wedding day, and you want everything to be perfect, from the flower arrangements to the table settings. But it's important to remember that your bridesmaids are your friends and family members first and foremost. They are there to support you and make your day special, so it's crucial to treat them with respect and consideration.

One way to do this is to avoid making unreasonable demands about their appearance. While you may have a specific vision for your bridal party's look, keep in mind that your bridesmaids have their own unique styles and preferences. Involve them in the process of selecting their attire, and be mindful of their financial limitations. If you're set on having matching dresses, be prepared to cover the cost for anyone who can't afford it.

Also, remember that your bridesmaids' hair and makeup are their decisions. You can request a general style, such as natural or dramatic makeup, but don't force a specific look on everyone. If you're hosting a formal event and one of your bridesmaids usually has a more bohemian style, have a conversation with her about your hopes for the day. Let her know that you respect her style and that you're only making this request because of the formality of the event. Offer to pay for hair and makeup services, and work with her to find a style that she's comfortable with.

Most importantly, don't ask your bridesmaids to make extreme changes to their appearance. For example, don't insist that a bridesmaid who usually wears glasses undergo laser eye surgery for the wedding. This is an extreme demand and is not necessary for your special day.

By being considerate of your bridesmaids' appearances and financial limitations, you'll ensure that everyone feels respected and valued on your wedding day.

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Don't give them a long list of requirements

Your bridesmaids are your closest friends and family members, and they are doing you a huge honor by agreeing to be a part of your wedding. So, it's important to treat them with respect and consideration. One surefire way to upset your bridesmaids is to hand out a long list of requirements, expectations, or tasks.

Instead, be mindful of their time, energy, and financial limitations. Discuss your expectations upfront and give them the option to opt-out if they are unable to meet your requests. For example, if you have specific ideas about their attire, hair, and makeup, be prepared to cover any costs that fall outside of their budget.

Communication is key. Choose one route of communication, such as email or a group chat, and stick to it throughout the wedding planning process. This will make it easier for your bridesmaids to get the information they need without feeling overwhelmed.

Remember, your bridesmaids are there to support you, but they also have their own lives and responsibilities. By being considerate of their time and resources, you can avoid creating resentment or drama within your bridal party.

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Don't make them pay for a dress that breaks their budget

When it comes to bridesmaid dresses, it's important to be mindful of your bridal party's budget. While you may have a specific vision for their attire, it's crucial to consider the financial limitations of your bridesmaids. Here are some tips to avoid causing frustration or resentment among your bridal party regarding their attire:

Discuss Expectations and Costs Upfront:

Before choosing the bridesmaid dresses, have an open conversation with your bridal party about your expectations and their financial limitations. Be transparent about what you envision for their attire, including any specific style, colour, or fabric preferences. This will help them understand the potential costs involved and make an informed decision about their participation.

Be Mindful of Their Budget:

Consider the financial situation of your bridesmaids and choose dresses that are within their budget. Remember, they may have other expenses associated with the wedding, such as travel costs, so be sensitive to their financial constraints. If you have your heart set on a particular dress that may be out of their budget, be prepared to cover the cost for those who need assistance.

Involve Them in the Selection Process:

Instead of making the decision solely, involve your bridesmaids in the dress selection process. Ask for their input and feedback on styles, colours, and price ranges that they feel comfortable with. This collaborative approach will make them feel valued and ensure that their voices are heard.

Offer Alternatives if Necessary:

If your desired dress is out of their budget, be flexible and explore alternative options. You can suggest less expensive alternatives or give them the freedom to choose a dress within a specific colour or fabric palette. This way, they can find something that aligns with your vision while staying within their financial means.

Cover the Cost if Possible:

If you have the financial means, consider covering the cost of the bridesmaid dresses. This gesture will not only alleviate financial stress for your bridal party but also demonstrate your appreciation for their involvement in your special day. It shows that you value their presence and want to make the experience enjoyable for them.

Remember, the most important thing is to maintain open and honest communication with your bridal party. By discussing expectations, costs, and preferences upfront, you can avoid any budget-related conflicts and ensure that your bridesmaids feel respected and valued. Ultimately, you want your bridal party to feel comfortable and happy, so be willing to make adjustments or accommodations as needed.

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Don't forget to show your appreciation

It's easy to get caught up in the excitement and stress of wedding planning, but it's important to remember that your bridesmaids are your friends and family first. Showing your appreciation for their time, effort, and financial contribution to your wedding will go a long way in ensuring your bridesmaids feel valued and respected. Here are some ways to show your appreciation:

Be considerate of their financial limitations

It's important to remember that being a bridesmaid can be expensive. From the dress to travel and accommodation, the costs can quickly add up. Be mindful of their financial situation and try to find ways to reduce their expenses. If you have specific requests that require additional spending, be prepared to cover those costs yourself.

Involve them in the attire selection

Choosing a dress that your bridesmaids feel comfortable and confident in is essential. Avoid selecting a dress without their input, as not everyone will feel their best in the same style or color. Instead, involve them in the process and allow them to choose dresses within their price range. You can provide a color or fabric guideline while still empowering your bridesmaids to pick a style that suits them.

Be mindful of their time and other commitments

Your bridesmaids have lives outside of your wedding, with full-time jobs, relationships, and personal issues to navigate. Respect their time by providing clear and consistent communication. Choose one mode of communication, such as email or a group chat, and stick to it. Avoid last-minute requests or expectations that they can jump on calls without notice. Give them ample time to respond and be understanding if they can't participate in every pre-wedding event.

Offer them choices

Whether it's hair and makeup, shoes, or accessories, give your bridesmaids options and let them choose what works best for them. If you're requesting professional hair and makeup services, be upfront about the pricing and offer alternatives if needed. Remember, your bridesmaids have unique styles and preferences, so try to avoid forcing them into a look that doesn't feel natural to them.

Express your gratitude

Make sure to thank your bridesmaids for their support and let them know how much you appreciate their presence on your special day. A thoughtful gift, such as a manicure or something they can use beyond the wedding, is a great way to show your appreciation. You can also treat them to a relaxing afternoon or send them a heartfelt card expressing your gratitude.

Frequently asked questions

Avoid choosing budget-breaking attire. Think about how much you would be willing to spend on a dress you'll probably only wear once. If you're not footing the bill, don't expect your bridesmaids to spend a fortune. Also, don't insist on head-to-toe clones. Give your bridesmaids the freedom to choose their own looks.

Don't insist on extreme makeovers. For example, don't ask your bespectacled sister to get laser eye surgery so she doesn't wear glasses on your big day. Also, don't force a particular hairstyle or makeup look.

Be considerate of their finances and their time. Don't force them to go into debt or put a strain on their finances. Don't expect them to drop everything to help you. Choose one route of communication that doesn't require an urgent response and stick to it.

Don't make the wedding all about you. Yes, it is your big day, but that doesn't mean you should ignore your bridesmaids' feelings. Don't utter phrases like "But it's MY DAY!" or "I don't care if you're sick / busy / at work... you get here NOW to help me!"

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