The Single Bridesmaid: An Outdated Tradition?

why do bridesmaids have to be single

There is no requirement for bridesmaids to be single. In fact, the only exception to the rule is the Maid of Honor, who, if married, is called the Matron of Honor. This tradition stems from an antiquated custom where bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age. However, this tradition is no longer widely followed, and brides are free to choose whoever they want for their bridal party, regardless of marital status.

Characteristics Values
Title Maid of Honour if unmarried, Matron of Honour if married
Age Young and of marriageable age

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The bride's preferences

There is no requirement for bridesmaids to be single. Brides can choose whoever they want to be a close part of their special day. The only exception is the Maid of Honour – if she is married, her title will be the Matron of Honour.

Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age. This is an antiquated tradition that is no longer followed. Bridesmaids can be married, single, divorced, male, female, or a mixture of all of these.

In some cultures, bridesmaids are typically young girls rather than grown women. However, in modern English-speaking countries, this role is separate from that of the bridesmaid, and the child performing it is known as a flower girl.

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Socioeconomic class and status

The tradition of bridesmaids being single may have originated from socioeconomic class and status. In ancient times, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age. This was likely due to the fact that no person of status went out unattended, and having a large group of bridesmaids was a way to display the family's wealth and social status. Today, the number of bridesmaids in a wedding party is still influenced by the bride's preferences, family size, and the number of attendants the partner would like to have.

In some cultures, such as in China during the feudal era, bridesmaids played a protective role, dressing like the bride to confuse potential kidnappers. In modern times, the bride typically chooses her bridesmaids based on close friends or relatives, regardless of their marital status. The only exception is the title of the principal bridesmaid, who is called the "maid of honor" if she is unmarried and the "matron of honor" if she is married.

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Family size

The size of the bride's family can play a role in determining the number of bridesmaids she chooses to include in her bridal party. In modern times, the bride is free to select any number of bridesmaids she prefers, but historically, the size of the bridal party was closely calculated to match the family's social status. A large group of bridesmaids served as an opportunity for the family to showcase their wealth and status.

In some cultures, the bride's family size may also influence the selection of bridesmaids in terms of their age and marital status. For example, in certain traditions, bridesmaids were typically chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age. However, nowadays, it is common for bridesmaids to be a mix of single, married, and even divorced women, regardless of their relation to the bride.

When it comes to family size, the bride may also consider the availability and willingness of potential bridesmaids to take on the role. Being a bridesmaid can involve significant time, energy, and financial commitments, so it is becoming customary for invited attendants to ask about these expectations before accepting the position. As a result, the bride may choose bridesmaids based on their ability to fulfil these duties, rather than solely on their marital status or family connection.

Ultimately, the decision on the number and characteristics of bridesmaids rests with the bride, and there is no fixed rule regarding family size or any other factor. The bride should feel free to select whoever she wants to be a close part of her special day, regardless of whether they are single, married, or otherwise.

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Socialization standards

The tradition of bridesmaids being single is influenced by several factors, including socioeconomic class, family size, and socialization standards. In the past, bridesmaids were typically chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age, and their role was to attend to the bride and enhance her appeal. This tradition has evolved, and today, bridesmaids are often the bride's close friends or relatives, regardless of their marital status.

The requirement for bridesmaids to be single may be rooted in outdated socialization standards. In the past, a bride's selection of bridesmaids was influenced by the need to showcase her family's social status and wealth. A large group of unmarried bridesmaids signalled the family's high social standing and prosperity. This tradition may have contributed to the perception that bridesmaids should be single and may have been reinforced by religious and cultural beliefs.

However, it is important to note that these traditions are no longer widely followed. Today, brides are encouraged to choose their bridesmaids based on their personal relationships and preferences rather than adhering to strict socialization standards. The role of a bridesmaid is now typically seen as a way to honour close friends or family members, regardless of their marital status.

In some cultures, there may still be a preference for unmarried bridesmaids, but this is becoming less common. Ultimately, the decision rests with the bride, who should feel free to include married or unmarried women in her bridal party based on their significance in her life.

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Religion

The idea that bridesmaids must be single is rooted in tradition, with some sources suggesting that it is related to religion.

Historically, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age. This tradition may have stemmed from the Biblical story of Jacob and his two wives, Leah and Rachel, who both came with their own maids (servants or slaves) as detailed in the Book of Genesis. In this story, the maids are not social peers but rather handmaidens.

In ancient times, the bride and all the bridesmaids wore the same dress and heavily veiled their faces. This practice is believed to have served two purposes: confusing jealous suitors and repelling evil spirits.

In China during the feudal era, bridesmaids dressed like the bride to protect her from being kidnapped by rival clans and hooligans. Once legal protections for marriage were established, the role of the bridesmaid became more symbolic.

In modern times, the bride typically chooses the number of bridesmaids she wants to include in her wedding party, and there is no requirement for them to be single.

Frequently asked questions

No, there is no requirement for bridesmaids to be single. It is perfectly fine to select single or married people to be part of the bridal party.

In some cultures, it was traditional for bridesmaids to be unmarried, young women of marriageable age. However, this tradition is no longer widely followed.

The origin of the Western bridesmaid tradition likely arose from a combination of factors, including socioeconomic class, family size, socialization standards, and religion. Some also cite the Biblical story of Jacob and his two wives, Leah and Rachel, who both came with their own maids.

The maid of honor is the bride's chief attendant and is typically her closest friend or sister. If the maid of honor is unmarried, she may also be referred to as the "maid of honor." If she is married, the title is usually "matron of honor."

In some cultures, the term jie meis is used for bridesmaids. In the United States, the term "maid of honor" is often used for all bridal attendants, while in the United Kingdom, the term "bridesmaid" is typically used.

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