Gypsy Wedding Extravaganzas: A Cultural Celebration

The TV series My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding has popularised the idea of gypsy weddings as big, lavish, and extravagant affairs. The show has been criticised for its stereotypical and misleading portrayal of the Romani and Traveller communities, with little historical or political context provided. However, it has also sparked curiosity about why these weddings are so grand. Gypsy weddings are important cultural events, with strict traditions surrounding virginity, divorce, and respect for elders. While gypsies often face poverty due to their nomadic lifestyle, they are a supportive community, prioritising survival and happiness over materialism. Their strong sense of community and generosity, along with savings and temporary jobs, likely contribute to funding these big weddings.

Gypsy wedding dresses

Themed dresses are also prevalent, with motifs such as sunflowers and butterflies, adding a whimsical touch to the bridal wear. These dresses blend elements of fantasy and costume with traditional bridal aesthetics. One distinctive feature of gypsy wedding dresses is their combination of traditional and risqué elements. The dresses may have large, voluminous skirts while also incorporating suggestive details like a miniskirt or a low-cut bodice.

The dresses are often embellished with precious stones, crystals, and sequins, reflecting a desire to showcase wealth and prestige. In some cases, the dresses can weigh over 70 pounds due to the extensive embellishments and voluminous skirts. The fairy lights incorporated into some dresses add a magical and dreamy feel, showcasing the adventurous and fantastical nature of the young brides.

The price range for these extravagant gypsy wedding dresses varies, with some dresses costing upwards of $12,000, while others are offered at discounted prices, ranging from $2,950 to $3,850. Despite the criticism and controversy surrounding the "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" series, the dresses featured on the show have undoubtedly captured the attention of viewers and sparked curiosity about the unique fashion choices within the gypsy community.

Virginity and divorce

Gypsy weddings are often big because they are a community affair, with the celebrations lasting three days. The weddings are steeped in tradition, with rituals and customs that are important to the culture. One of the most important aspects of a gypsy wedding is the emphasis on virginity and female chastity.

Gypsy weddings traditionally include a ritual called "Honour", which involves the bride and groom appearing before the oldest relatives, who give them bread and salt. The newlyweds then eat a piece of bread and go to a private space, where the "mixing" takes place. After this, a tray with the bride's shirt and red flowers is presented to the guests.

There is another version of this tradition, where a sheet stained with the bride's blood from losing her virginity is presented instead of the shirt. This is a symbolic event called "Honour", marking the creation of a new family. If the bride is not a virgin, shame falls on her and her family, and the marriage is dissolved.

The importance of virginity is also reflected in the custom of bride-price negotiation or mock abduction. On the first day of the wedding, the groom's family storms the bride's home, which is barricaded by her family. After the "mock negotiation" or "mock abduction", the bride and groom arrive separately at the church, where they are "crowned".

Divorce is not customary in gypsy culture. Marriage is considered a lifelong union, and divorce is not provided for. However, in modern times, divorce does occur, and it is addressed in the community. For example, in the American reality TV series "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding", one episode features a gypsy divorcee who remarries.

Gypsy weddings are a complex blend of Orthodox wedding rituals and gypsy customs. While the traditions may vary between different gypsy communities, the importance of virginity and the taboo surrounding divorce are consistent themes. These aspects contribute to the unique nature of gypsy weddings and the sense of community within the culture.

Sexualisation of children

The TV series "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" and its spin-offs have been criticised for the sexualisation of children. The British and American versions of the series have faced a number of controversies, including allegations of racism in its advertising and causing racially motivated bullying.

The Romani Gypsy community has criticised the series for misrepresenting the ethnic minority with non-Romani characters posing as “Gypsy”. The series has also been accused of cultivating racist stereotypes and misrepresenting the Romani and Traveller communities in the UK, Ireland, and the US.

The series has attracted criticism for the extent to which girls under 10 dress up, with some arguing that it perpetuates the sexualisation of children. One episode showed six-year-old Mary Ann getting a spray tan before her first Holy Communion, wearing high heels, a tight dress, and false eyelashes. The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) ruled that a promotional poster for the series featuring a 15-year-old girl in a low-cut top, heavy makeup, and with part of her bra visible was irresponsible and offensive, depicting a child in a sexualised way and reinforcing negative stereotypes.

The Traveller Movement, a charity supporting 300,000 gypsies and travellers, brought a legal challenge against Ofcom, the media regulator, arguing that its investigation into complaints about the series was procedurally unfair. The charity claimed that the series depicted children in a sexualised way and portrayed men and boys as feckless, violent, and criminal. They also alleged that the series advanced the untrue and damaging racial stereotype that these communities engaged in and endorsed violent sexual assaults of female children and young women – referred to as "grabbing" – as a cultural norm. However, Ofcom's counsel, Dinah Rose QC, argued that the investigation was careful and painstaking and concluded that the programmes did not breach the broadcasting code, offering a balanced and insightful portrayal of these communities.

Dating rituals

The dating rituals of the Gypsy and Traveller communities are distinct from those of the general population. The communities are highly traditional, with strict codes of conduct for girls and women. Girls are expected to remain virgins until marriage, and divorce is rare. One dating ritual, known as "grabbing", involves boys pinning down girls and demanding a kiss, and if the girl's advances are rejected, her arm is twisted or she is subjected to some other form of minor violence.

The communities are also highly protective of their daughters and sisters, and dating outside the community is frowned upon. In one episode of *My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding*, a young man called Pat, who is marrying an outsider, offers a different take: "I think it's very unfair to try to point out differences".

The communities are also highly traditional when it comes to gender roles. In another episode of the show, a proud gypsy father, Ed, has to earn an extra $10,000 to pay for his 4-year-old's carnival birthday party. In another, a Romani Gypsy mother lays down the law by arranging a marriage to tame her 16-year-old daughter's wild ways.

Gypsy and Traveller communities are often secretive, and wedding venues are often kept secret until the last minute for fear that the owners will cancel the booking if they know it is a gypsy wedding.

Community support

Gypsy weddings are often grand affairs, with large dresses, bouffant hairdos, spray tans, stretch limos, and scantily clad female guests. The TV show "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" has been criticised for its stereotypical and misleading portrayal of the Gypsy community, but it has also brought attention to the unique traditions and strong community bonds that exist within this minority group.

Gypsies are known for their simple and minimalistic lifestyle, often settling for temporary jobs and struggling with poverty due to their nomadic nature. Despite their financial challenges, they are able to host lavish weddings through strong community support and a deep respect for tradition.

The Gypsy community is very supportive, and they might offer sponsorships or other forms of financial assistance to ensure that their members can have the grand weddings they desire. They are very generous when it comes to helping each other, and this sense of community is a key aspect of their culture.

In addition, the groom's parents traditionally fund the wedding, and they are able to save up for this important event, ensuring that their children are married according to their cultural and traditional values. While the TV show has been criticised for its portrayal of the community, it has also sparked conversations about the unique traditions and strong bonds that exist within Gypsy communities.

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