How To Work With Your Wedding Planner

Wedding planning can be a stressful process, and it's natural to worry about whether you're annoying your wedding planner. Here are some common pitfalls to avoid to ensure a smooth and enjoyable planning experience for both you and your planner:

- Micromanaging: While it's your special day and you want everything to be perfect, it's important to trust your planner and let them work their magic. Constant check-ins and excessive emails with requests can be overwhelming.

- Being indecisive: Your planner needs your input and opinions to do their job effectively. Returning their calls and emails promptly and providing clear direction will help them create your dream wedding.

- Misunderstanding their services: Before hiring a planner, ensure you understand the scope of their services. Not all planners provide the same offerings, and misalignment can lead to frustration on both sides.

- Treating them like a personal assistant: Remember that your planner's expertise is in wedding planning, not running personal errands. Respect their time and boundaries.

- Lack of inspiration or unrealistic expectations: Providing your planner with a clear vision, or at least some inspiration, will help them bring your dream wedding to life. Be realistic about your budget and what it can achieve.

- Not keeping an open mind: If you constantly shut down your planner's ideas and suggestions, it may hinder the planning process. Try to keep an open mind and trust their expertise.

Micromanaging your wedding planner

Define Roles and Responsibilities

Understand the scope of services provided by your wedding planner and respect their expertise. Remember, you hired them for a reason, so let them do their job effectively. Micromanaging can include frequent phone calls or emails with excessive requests or questions, which can hinder their ability to work efficiently.

Communicate Your Vision

While it's important to give your wedding planner creative freedom, ensure you communicate your vision, preferences, and priorities clearly. Share inspiration boards, mood boards, or specific details that are important to you, so they have a clear direction. This will help them make informed decisions and create a wedding that truly reflects your style and personality.

Trust their Expertise and Recommendations

Wedding planners have a wealth of knowledge and industry connections. They can recommend trusted vendors, suggest unique ideas, and handle unexpected challenges. While it's natural to want everything to be perfect, trust that your wedding planner has the skills and experience to make your day special. Let go of the need to control every detail, and embrace their suggestions and creative input.

Provide Timely Feedback

Stay engaged in the planning process by responding promptly to your wedding planner's communications. Provide feedback when needed, and be open to their ideas and suggestions. If you're unsure about a particular aspect, ask questions and seek their guidance. Timely feedback will help keep the planning process on track and ensure that your vision is brought to life.

Focus on the Big Picture

It's easy to get caught up in the minutiae of wedding planning. Remember that your wedding planner is there to handle the details, so try to focus on the bigger picture. Communicate your overall vision and goals, and let them take care of the smaller tasks. This will help reduce your stress levels and allow you to enjoy the process more.

Delegate Tasks

One of the benefits of hiring a wedding planner is having someone to delegate tasks to. Take advantage of their skills and services by delegating tasks that match their expertise. This could include vendor research, timeline creation, styling, or day-of coordination. Trust that they will handle these tasks efficiently, allowing you to focus on other priorities.

Remember, your wedding planner is there to support and guide you through the planning process. By establishing clear communication, respecting their expertise, and providing timely feedback, you can avoid micromanaging and create a positive and collaborative environment for your dream wedding to come to life.

Being indecisive

Not Returning Calls and Emails

Wedding planners need you to be present and available throughout the planning process. If you don't respond to their attempts to contact you, it can delay the planning process and cause unnecessary stress for your planner, who is eager to help you create your dream wedding.

Failing to Provide Inspiration

Your wedding planner wants to create a day that reflects your tastes and personality. If you come to them saying, "I don't know what I want," their job becomes extremely challenging. While you don't need to know every detail, it's important to communicate your vision, likes, and dislikes. A good place to start is by figuring out what you don't like. Making a list of non-negotiables early on can help guide your decisions and keep you within your budget.

Not Keeping an Open Mind

If you shut down all of your planner's ideas and suggestions, it will be difficult for them to do their job effectively. Remember, you hired them for a reason, so try to trust their expertise and keep an open mind.

Overloading on Social Media Inspiration

While it can be helpful to use Instagram and wedding websites for inspiration, too much exposure can lead to decision paralysis. You might feel pressured to include every décor idea you see, making it hard to make simple decisions, let alone difficult ones. Set social media limits and stick to them to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Failing to Set Priorities

It's important to establish your priorities and stick to them. Decide on the must-haves and non-negotiables early on, and communicate these to your planner. This will help streamline the decision-making process and ensure you're spending time and money on the things that truly matter to you.

Not Sticking to a Timeline

Creating a timeline for your decisions and sticking to it can help prevent overwhelm for both you and your planner. Break down the planning process into manageable tasks with deadlines, and make it a priority to show up and meet those deadlines.

Hiring them for a service they don't provide

Hiring a wedding planner is a big decision, and it's important to understand the different services they offer to ensure you're getting the support you need. Here are some detailed paragraphs on the topic of "Hiring them for a service they don't provide" to help you make an informed choice:

Understanding the Different Types of Wedding Planners

Before hiring a wedding planner, it is crucial to recognize that there are various types of professionals in this industry. Some planners specialize in specific areas, such as styling, day-of coordination, big-picture design, or full-service planning. It is your responsibility to conduct thorough research to ensure you are hiring the right person for the job. For example, if you require assistance with event production, don't assume that a planner with expertise in inspiration, vision, and design will be able to meet your needs. Be clear about your expectations and understand the planner's capabilities before signing any contracts.

Full-Service Wedding Planner vs. Day-of Coordinator

When considering a wedding planner, it's essential to distinguish between a full-service planner and a day-of coordinator. A full-service planner will guide you through the entire planning process, from selecting a venue to managing vendors and creating a comprehensive timeline for your big day. On the other hand, a day-of coordinator typically steps in during the final months or weeks before your wedding. They ensure that everything runs smoothly on the day itself but may not be involved in the months-long planning process. Understanding the distinction between these roles is crucial in managing your expectations and ensuring you receive the level of support you need.

Understanding the Planner's Scope of Work

Before hiring a wedding planner, be sure to ask about their scope of work and what services they provide. Some planners may only offer design and styling services, while others focus on logistics and coordination. Ask specific questions about their responsibilities and what tasks they will and will not handle. For example, will they accompany you to dress fittings or help with RSVP management? Understanding the details of their services will help you avoid misunderstandings and ensure that your expectations are met.

Communicating Your Vision and Expectations

When hiring a wedding planner, it is essential to communicate your vision and expectations clearly. Be explicit about the type of wedding you want, whether it's a rustic celebration under the stars or a ballroom affair. Ask them to share ideas for bringing your vision to life and pay attention to whether their suggestions align with your dreams. If their ideas are way off or they seem uninterested in your vision, it may be a sign that they are not the right fit for you. Remember, it's crucial to find a planner who understands and shares your enthusiasm for your special day.

Understanding Their Working Style and Process

Every wedding planner has a unique working style and process. Some may prefer frequent in-person meetings, while others rely on email communication and online inspiration boards. Ask your potential planner to walk you through their typical planning process and how they involve their clients. This will help you determine if their style aligns with your expectations and if you feel comfortable with their methods. Effective communication and a shared understanding of the planning process are key to a successful collaboration.

Treating them like a personal assistant

Treating your wedding planner like a personal assistant is a surefire way to annoy them. While they are your right hand for all things wedding-related, it's important to remember that they are not responsible for tasks outside of the wedding planning process. This includes tasks such as booking dentist appointments, picking up dry cleaning, or ordering Ubers. It's also important to note that your planner is not a reception babysitter and cannot do their job effectively if they are expected to watch over young children during the event.

To avoid treating your wedding planner like a personal assistant, it's crucial to establish clear boundaries and communicate your expectations from the outset. Be mindful of their time and expertise, and refrain from assigning them tasks that are not related to the wedding. Respect their professional boundaries and understand that their role is to support you in creating a memorable wedding day, not to manage your personal affairs.

Additionally, it's essential to be considerate of their workload and avoid micromanaging. Wedding planners are experienced professionals who know how to handle the intricacies of wedding planning. Trust their expertise and let them work their magic without constant interference. This will not only make the process smoother but also demonstrate your respect for their time and skills.

Remember, your wedding planner is there to guide you through the wedding planning process and ensure your special day is everything you've dreamed of. By maintaining a respectful and collaborative relationship, you can avoid treating them like a personal assistant and instead foster a positive and productive dynamic.

Not providing inspiration

As a wedding planner, I am often the one providing inspiration to my clients. However, it is always helpful when the couple comes to me with some ideas of their own. This could be in the form of a Pinterest board, magazine cutouts, or just a general sense of the style and theme they are going for. Providing inspiration will help your wedding planner understand your vision and help them create a day that truly reflects you and your partner.

If you are unsure where to start, think about your relationship, your personalities, and your favourite things. These can be a great source of inspiration for your wedding. For example, if you and your partner love barbequing, why not incorporate that into your wedding menu? Or if you have a favourite flower, you could use that as a starting point for your floral arrangements.

Another way to provide inspiration is to create a mood board. This can be a physical board or a digital one (Pinterest is great for this!). Collect images that represent the style, colours, and overall vibe you are going for. This could include pictures of dresses, flowers, venues, or even just general scenery that inspires you.

Don't be afraid to get creative and think outside the box. Your wedding planner will be able to take your inspiration and turn it into a reality, so don't hold back! If you have a unique idea or theme, share it with them, and they will help make it come to life.

Remember, your wedding is a chance to tell your love story, so don't be afraid to let your personality shine through. By providing inspiration, you can ensure that your wedding is a true reflection of you and your partner, and that it will be a day that you and your guests will never forget.

Frequently asked questions