Junior Rasmussen
Wedding invitations are a chance to showcase your style and set the tone for your big day. While there are no hard and fast rules, there are certain guidelines and traditions to consider when addressing your invites. The outer envelope is formal, with guests' full names and titles, while the inner envelope is more casual, with just titles and surnames. This is also where you specify who is invited, including any plus-ones, to avoid confusion. Handwriting guests' names on the invitation itself is an option, but it can be time-consuming and may look amateurish if not done well. Ultimately, it's your wedding, so feel free to adapt the format to suit your guests' preferences and your style.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of envelopes | Two (outer and inner) or one |
| Outer envelope | Guest's physical address, including titles, first names, and last names |
| Inner envelope | Guest's name(s) only (titles and last names or first names) |
| Single guests | Full name and title on the outer envelope; "and Guest" on the inner envelope if a plus one is allowed |
| Married couples | Husband and wife's titles and names on the same line on the outer envelope; couple's collective title and last name on the inner envelope |
| Married couples with different last names | Write names in alphabetical order, with the lady's name first, or the guest you're closest to first |
| Unmarried couples | Write names on two separate lines in alphabetical order or send the invitation to the guest you're closest to |
| Children | Write each child's first name underneath their parents' names; children over 18 should receive their own invitation |
| Professional titles | Include the guest's distinguished title (e.g., Dr., Captain, Lieutenant) |
| One envelope | List every guest's name, including children, and "and Guest" for plus ones |
What You'll Learn
Married couples with the same last name
When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few options to consider. The most common approach for formal invitations is to write both spouses' titles on the outer envelope, followed by the husband's first and last name. For example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Portz
However, it is becoming more common to include the woman's first name, especially if you anticipate your guest wishing to be addressed in this way. In this case, the outer envelope would look like this:
> Mr. Thomas Portz and Mrs. Karen Portz
If you prefer a more casual tone, you could simply write their first names:
> Thomas and Karen
When addressing a heterosexual couple, it is customary to write the man's name first. However, this is merely a tradition, and you may choose to write their names in alphabetical order, especially in the case of a same-sex couple:
> Mrs. Kira Gonzalez-Strong and Mrs. Sarah Gonzalez-Strong
> Mrs. and Mrs. Gonzalez-Strong (or Kira and Sarah)
It is important to note that the outer envelope is where you print the guest's physical address, while the inner envelope contains the invitation itself. On the inner envelope, you can use more informal titles and names. For a married couple with the same last name, you would write their shared title and last name:
> Mr. and Mrs. Portz
If you chose to include the woman's first name on the outer envelope, you can simply write their titles and last names on the inner envelope:
> Mr. and Mrs. Warren
Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can ultimately choose to address the envelopes however you see fit.
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Married couples with different last names
When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Here are some detailed guidelines to ensure your invitations are both proper and respectful:
Outer Envelope Etiquette:
The outer envelope is the envelope handled by the mail courier and includes the guest's physical address. When addressing a married couple with different last names, there are a few options for the outer envelope:
- List their names separately with the woman's name first, followed by the man's name. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez."
- If the couple has chosen to hyphenate their last names, include both their first and last names, with the person you are closest with or the alphabet coming first. For instance, "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft."
- If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, it is acceptable to list them separately. An example would be, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez."
Inner Envelope Etiquette:
The inner envelope contains the invitation suite and is more informal. When addressing a married couple with different last names on the inner envelope:
- You may use their titles and last names, such as "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez."
- For a more casual approach, use their first names only, for example, "Maria and David."
- If the couple has hyphenated their last names, you can use their first names, such as "Marcus and Brian."
Other Considerations:
- It is essential to consider the couple's preference and your relationship with them. If you are equally close to both, alphabetical order is a safe option.
- While tradition dictates that the man's name is written first for heterosexual couples, this is not mandatory. Feel free to order the names as you see fit or in alphabetical order.
- For same-sex married couples with different last names, include both their first and last names, combined with "and." You may also add their desired prefixes (Mr. or Ms.) for a more formal invitation.
- If one person in the couple has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, or military rank, ensure to include this in the address as per standard etiquette.
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Unmarried couples
When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few different approaches you can take depending on whether the couple lives together or not. Here are some examples and guidelines to help you with the wording and format:
If the unmarried couple lives together, their names should be included on the same invitation, and each name should be written on a separate line. You can list the person you are closest with first or go in alphabetical order by last name. Here is an example:
Outer envelope:
Miss (or Ms.) Stephanie Belitz
Miss (or Ms.) Katie Foster
Inner envelope:
Miss Belitz
Miss Foster
If the unmarried couple does not live together, you will send the invitation to the guest you are closest to. Only their name will be listed on the outer envelope. Here is an example:
Outer envelope:
Miss (or Ms.) Megan Peterman
Inner envelope:
Miss Peterman
General Guidelines
- Titles: Use titles such as "Miss," "Ms.," "Mr.", or "Mx." for unmarried guests. The title "Mx." is gender-neutral and can be used for non-binary guests. Always double-check your attendees' preferred titles before finalising the invitations.
- Full Names: It is customary to write the guests' full names on the outer envelope, including their titles, first names, and last names. Middle names are optional.
- Inner Envelope: The inner envelope is more informal. You can include titles and last names or just the first names, depending on the tone you prefer.
- Plus Ones: If you are inviting a guest with a plus one, write their name on the inner envelope, followed by "and Guest." For example: "Mr. Black and Guest."
- Children: If children under 18 are invited, list their names on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if desired. Boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr."
- Professional Titles: If one of your guests has a distinguished title, such as "Doctor," "Judge," or "Military Personnel," include their title on the invitation.
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Single guests with a plus one
When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind, especially when it comes to single guests with a plus one. Here are some instructive guidelines to follow:
Outer Envelope
On the outer envelope, write the single guest's name with their title and full name. For example:
> Mr. Sam Black
If you are inviting a plus one, you can simply add "and Guest" after the person's name:
> Mr. Sam Black and Guest
This is the envelope handled by the mail courier, so it's important to include the guest's full address, spelling out the full words for street names and avoiding abbreviations.
Inner Envelope
The inner envelope is where you can be more specific about who is invited. If your single guest is bringing a plus one, you can write their name on the inner envelope:
> Sam Black and Guest
Alternatively, if you don't know the name of the plus one, you can simply write:
> Sam Black and Guest
On both the outer and inner envelopes.
Invitation Wording
When it comes to the invitation wording, it's best not to make assumptions about who your single guest will bring. You can address the invitation to the primary guest and "invited guest" or include a plus-one note inside with the RSVP card. Here's an example:
> We invite [Guest Name] and their guest to join us at our wedding...
Seating Arrangements
When planning your seating arrangements, consider placing single guests and their plus ones between outgoing and friendly couples to create a communal feel and help them meet people organically.
RSVP Management
It's important to get the name of every guest, including their plus ones, for seating chart preparation. Be sure to include a space on your RSVPs for the primary guest to write the name of their plus one. This will help you avoid surprises and manage your budget effectively.
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Families with children
When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and names for each family member. The outer envelope should include the names and titles of the parent(s) or guardian(s), while the inner envelope should list each child by name, with the appropriate title for girls under 18 ("Miss") and boys under 16 ("Mr."). Here is an example:
On the outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham
On the inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly
If any of the children are over the age of 18, they should receive their own separate invitation. However, if they still live at home with their parents, you can include them on the family invitation. In this case, you would simply list their names along with the parents' names on both the outer and inner envelopes.
Another option for addressing families with children is to use the family name or "The [Last Name] Family" on the outer envelope. This implies that the invitation is for the entire family. On the inner envelope, you can list the names of the parents and children, with their respective titles.
It is important to note that if you do not include each child's name on the invitation, it may be interpreted as children not being invited. To avoid any confusion, it is recommended to spread the word through your immediate family and wedding party that the wedding will be adults-only. You can also add this information to your wedding website.
On the outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Chris Thompson
On the inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Chris Thompson, Nathan, James, and Bella
Remember to double-check the preferred titles and names of each family member before addressing the invitations. This will ensure that your guests feel welcomed and respected.
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Frequently asked questions
Guests' names are usually written on the outer and inner envelopes of the wedding invitation. The outer envelope includes the guest's address, while the inner envelope includes the names of those invited from that address.
On the outer envelope, write the person's preferred title and full name. On the inner envelope, you can use just their title and last name or their first name only.
On the outer envelope, write both spouses' titles and full names. On the inner envelope, write their titles and shared last name. If they have different last names, write out both of their names.
If the couple lives together, write their names on separate lines on the outer envelope, in alphabetical order. On the inner envelope, write their titles and last names or just their first names. If they don't live together, send the invitation to the person you're closest with.
On the outer envelope, write the names of the parents. On the inner envelope, list each child's name. If children are over 18, they should receive their own invitation.
