Wedding Invitation Wording: No Children Allowed

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding whether or not to invite children. If you're hoping for an adults-only celebration, it's important to communicate this to your guests clearly and politely. While you may choose to address your invitations only to the adults in each family, some parents may still assume that their children are also invited. To avoid any confusion, it's best to be direct and include a specific phrase on your invitations or save-the-date cards that indicates your wedding will be child-free. This gives parents enough notice to make childcare arrangements.

'No Kids' Wording on Invitations

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding is a personal choice. If you choose not to invite children, it's important to communicate this clearly and politely to your guests. Here are some suggestions for wording your invitations to indicate that children are not invited:

Direct and Simple Statements:

• “Our wedding is adults only.”
• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
• "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
• "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."
• "This invitation is extended to adults only."
• "We truly wish we could invite all our guests' children to our wedding, however, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate families."

Venue Restrictions:

• "We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children."
• "Due to safety reasons at our venue, we are unable to extend this invitation to children."
• "Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome children to the wedding."
• "Unfortunately, due to venue restrictions, we won't be able to invite children to the wedding."
• "The nature of our chosen venue means it's not appropriate for those under 18. Adults are welcome, but no children, please."

Space or Budget Limitations:

• "We'd love to invite everyone to celebrate our special day, but there simply isn't room. For this reason, we've decided on an adults-only celebration."
• "Saving for a house is expensive! So, we're keeping our guest list short and sweet—adults only, please."
• "We'd invite the world if we could, but it's simply not an option. Please note our event is adults only."
• "Due to limited venue space, adults only, please."
• "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children."
• "Although we adore your children, due to budget/space constraints, we ask that only adults attend."

Part of the Event is Adults-Only:

• "We'd love to see [Child's name] at our ceremony, but please note that the reception is adults only."
• "So that we can all relax and let our hair down, our evening wedding reception will be adults only. Please feel free to make use of our babysitting service from [time] onwards."
• "Our ceremony will take place at [time]. After this, please join us for an adult reception from [time]."

Including a Personal Note:

• "We love your kids, but we thought you might appreciate a night off. Adults only, please."
• "We hope you will understand our decision to make the wedding children-free, and take the opportunity to celebrate in style!"
• "We respectfully request no children at our wedding celebrations. We hope you understand and can still join us on our special day."

Addressing the Invitations

Be Direct but Polite:

Avoid being too subtle, as your intention may be missed. Be clear and polite by using phrases such as “Adults-only event” or “No children” on the invitation. You can also be more explicit by stating an age restriction, such as “18+ only” or “21+ only.” This leaves no room for ambiguity.

Address the Invitation to Specific Guests:

Ensure that the invitation is addressed only to the guests you want to attend. Avoid addressing it to “the family” or using vague phrases like “to all of you.” By specifically naming the invited guests, you make it clear that children are not included. This is especially important if you're using both outer and inner envelopes. The outer envelope can have the family's address, while the inner envelope lists the names of the invited adults.

Use RSVP Cards Strategically:

RSVP cards can reinforce your message. You can write, “We have reserved ___ spots for you” or “___ adults will attend.” This not only clarifies the number of invited guests but also reiterates that children are not included.

Be Consistent:

It's important to maintain consistency in your "no children" policy. Make exceptions only for children of immediate family members, bridesmaids, ushers, page boys, or flower girls, and ensure other guests are aware of these exceptions. This helps to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

Share the Message Across Multiple Platforms:

In addition to the invitations, use other communication channels to reinforce the adults-only nature of the event. Include a note about it on your save-the-dates, wedding website, and follow-up messages. Highlight it on RSVP cards as well, with phrases like “Adults only” or “Sorry, no children.”

Provide a Reason:

While you don't need to justify your decision, providing a reason can make it more understandable for guests. Common reasons include space restrictions, budget limitations, or venue policies. For example, you can say, “Due to restricted numbers, we regretfully cannot accommodate children at the venue.”

Show Compassion:

Remember that some guests may be disappointed or unable to attend due to your "no children" policy. Show understanding by explaining your reasons and respecting their decision if they choose not to attend. You can say something like, “We hope you understand, and we'd love to include everyone, but our venue has limited space.”

Be Mindful of Wording:

Avoid phrases that may come across as patronizing or imply that parents can't have fun with their children around. Steer clear of statements like “We thought you'd appreciate a night off!” or “To give you the opportunity to really let your hair down...” Instead, focus on your own preferences and wishes for the event.

Make it a Classy Request:

If you want to maintain a sophisticated tone, avoid explicitly stating “adults only” or “no children” on the invitation itself. Instead, use subtle hints in the reception card, such as mentioning an “intimate ceremony” or a “cocktail reception” at a venue that is typically not suitable for children, like a “luxury hotel” or “downtown nightclub.”

Contact Guests Directly:

If you anticipate questions or concerns, be proactive and contact guests directly. Give them a call to explain your decision and address any potential issues. This personal approach can help to avoid misunderstandings and show that you value their presence at your wedding.

Remember, the key is to be clear, consistent, and compassionate in your messaging. By addressing the invitations thoughtfully and providing additional information through other channels, you can effectively convey your "no children" request for your wedding.

Using Multiple Mediums

It's important to be clear and consistent when communicating that your wedding is adults-only. While it may be enough to include this information on your save-the-date cards and wedding invitations, it's easy for people to overlook details if they only see them once or twice. To avoid any confusion, consider using multiple mediums to reinforce your message.

Firstly, make sure your save-the-date cards and wedding invitations are clear and specific. Only include the names of those who are invited on the envelopes, as tradition dictates that only those named are officially invited. Avoid phrases like "To All of You" or "To [Name] and Family," as this can create an expectation that everyone is invited. Instead, opt for wording like “No Children" or "18+ Only." You can also include a note on your response cards, such as "Only Adults Invited" or "Sorry, No Children."

Secondly, utilise your wedding website to share this information. Include a section on your website dedicated to frequently asked questions (FAQ) or wedding details, where you can address your decision to have an adults-only wedding. This will give your guests time to make childcare arrangements if needed. You can also recommend babysitting options in the area as a thoughtful touch.

Finally, spread the word through personal communication. Ask your immediate family, wedding party members, and friends to inform other guests about your adults-only policy through word of mouth. This will help reinforce your message and ensure that all guests are aware of your request.

By using multiple mediums, such as written communication on save-the-date cards, wedding invitations, and your website, as well as personal conversations, you can effectively communicate your adults-only wedding policy to your guests. This will help avoid confusion and ensure that your special day goes as smoothly as possible.

Venue Restrictions

If your venue has restrictions that mean you cannot invite children, it's important to communicate this clearly to your guests. Here are some ways to do this:

"We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children."

"Due to safety reasons at our venue, we are unable to extend this invitation to children."

"Unfortunately, due to venue restrictions, we won't be able to invite children to the wedding."

"The nature of our chosen venue means it's not appropriate for those under 18. Adults are welcome, but no children, please."

"Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome children to the wedding."

"We know how important child safety is, and we share the same views as our venue that this isn't the place for children. Because of this, our wedding day will be adults-only."

"Due to policies outside our control, our wedding reception venue is 18+ only. Please note this means children regrettably won't be able to attend our ceremony or reception."

If your venue has space restrictions, you could try:

"We'd love to invite everyone to celebrate our special day, but there simply isn't room. For this reason, we've decided to host an adults-only celebration."

"Saving for a house is expensive! Because of this, we're keeping our guest list short and sweet — adults only, please."

"Our wedding will be adults-only so that we can have our dream wedding venue. Know that we love [child's name] dearly, and we're excited to see them again soon!"

"Our numbers are restricted, so it's with sadness that we cannot invite [child's name] to the ceremony and reception. They are welcome to join you at the hotel, though, where a babysitting service will take care of them during the festivities."

"Due to limited venue space, adults only please."

"We are very sorry, but due to space restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children. We hope you understand and can still join us on our special day."

"We’re very sorry but due to space restraints, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate family to our wedding. We hope you understand and can still join us on our special day."

If you are inviting some children but not others, you could say:

"Although we're hosting an adults-only event due to limited space, you may still see some children at our celebration. Our ceremony wouldn't be complete without our ring bearer and flower girl, who'll be invited to stay for the reception celebration as a thank you."

"Please note our celebration is for adults only, except newborns and infants."

"While we'd have loved to have a big celebration on our wedding day, our limited budget means we can only invite children from our immediate family. We're excited to plan a separate get-together soon so that all the families can play together!"

"Due to space restraints, we've only been able to extend invites to the children of our immediate family and wedding party. We hope you can understand."

When Some Children Are Invited

If you're inviting some children to your wedding but not others, it's important to be clear about this from the start. You don't want to give the impression that all children are invited, and you also want to give parents enough time to make childcare arrangements. Here are some ways to communicate this:

Be Direct

Explain that you're hosting an adults-only event due to limited space, but that some children will still be in attendance. For example:

> "Although we're hosting an adults-only event due to limited space, you may still see some children at our celebration. Our ceremony wouldn't be complete without our ring bearer and flower girl, who'll be invited to stay for the reception celebration as a thank you."

>

> "Please note our celebration is for adults only, except newborns and infants."

Mention Specific Groups

If you're inviting children from immediate family or the wedding party, you can mention this in your invitation. For example:

> "Due to space restraints, we've only been able to extend invites to the children of our immediate family and wedding party. We hope you can understand."

>

> "While we'd have loved to have a big celebration on our wedding day, our limited budget means we can only invite children from our immediate family. We're excited to plan a separate get-together soon so that all the families can play together!"

Address Envelopes Explicitly

If you're sending paper invitations, address the envelopes properly. If a child is invited, write their name on the invitation. If there is an outer and inner envelope, the child's parents' names should go on the outer envelope, and the child's name should be written beneath the parents' names on the inner envelope. If you're only using an outer envelope, write the child's name on it.

Call Guests with Children

After sending your invitations, consider calling your friends and family with children to explain your wedding is child-friendly or not. This is especially useful if you're worried about a guest bringing their children against your wishes, or if you're arranging childcare services and want to reassure parents that their children will be well taken care of.

Frequently asked questions