Wedding Invitation Etiquette For Couples Living Together

Wedding invitation wording can be tricky, especially when it comes to addressing couples. For unmarried couples living together, the general rule is to list their names on separate lines, omitting the and which is usually reserved for married couples. For example, you would address an invitation to Mr. John Francis Smith, II/Ms. (or Miss) Anna Brown. This format can also be used for same-sex couples. If you are closer to one half of the couple, their name should be listed first, or you can go by alphabetical order.

Alphabetical order: List names separately, in alphabetical order

When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple living together, it is customary to list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines. Here is an example:

> Mr. Ross Geller

> Ms. Rachel Green

If you are inviting an unmarried couple who live together and you want to list their names on the same line, you would write the name of the person you are closest with first, or alphabetically if you are equally close with both. Here is an example:

> Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

The same etiquette applies for unmarried same-sex couples. If one partner has a hyphenated last name, list the hyphenated name last:

> Ms. Carol Willik-Bunch and Ms. Susan Bunch

For an unmarried same-sex couple with different last names, you can list the names alphabetically or according to whichever guest you are closest with:

> Mr. Cameron Tucker and Mr. Mitchell Pritchett

For the outer envelope, follow the above guidelines. For the inner envelope, you can use courtesy titles and last names or only first names if you are close with the couple:

> Mr. Tucker and Mr. Pritchett

> Mitchell and Cameron

Lead with closest friend

When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple who live together, the key is to write their names independently on two lines and without the word "and". This is the secret cue that the couple is not married. For example:

> Mr. John Francis Smith

>

> Ms. (or Miss) Anna Brown

If you are closest to one of the couple, you should list that person first. If you are equally close to both, you can go in alphabetical order.

If the couple does not live together, traditional etiquette says that each person should receive their own invitation. However, if you are concerned about the couple breaking up before the wedding, you might prefer to send an invitation only to the person you are closest to, and include "and guest" on the inner envelope for their significant other.

If you are inviting roommates to your wedding, each person should receive their own invitation.

Same-sex couples: Same rules as any other couple

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to same-sex couples, the same rules apply as for any other couple. If the couple is married, their names should be written on the same line, separated by "and". Each name can have its own title, for example, "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams". Many same-sex couples choose to keep their last names after marriage, so this format is the most appropriate. Alternatively, you can use the plural form of the title, especially if the couple has the same last name. For men, you can write "The Messrs. [Name] and [Name]". For women, you can write "The Mesdames [Name] and [Name]", or "Mmes. [Name] and [Name]".

If the couple is not married, traditional etiquette suggests addressing each person individually on separate lines, just like you would for an unmarried opposite-sex couple. The order of the names is usually alphabetical. However, some same-sex couples choose not to marry for legal reasons but still consider themselves a permanent pair. In this case, you can put both names on one line, separated by "and".

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to use the correct titles or prefixes and avoid abbreviations. It's also worth noting that some non-binary individuals may prefer the gender-neutral title "Mx." instead of "Mr." or "Ms.". If you're unsure about a guest's preferred title, it's always best to ask them directly.

Inner envelope: Titles + last names, or first names only

When addressing wedding invitations, the inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to use titles and last names or first names only. If you're addressing an unmarried couple living together, you have two options:

List their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines. For example:

Mr. Ross Geller

Ms. Rachel Green

List both names on the same line, starting with the person you're closest to. If you're equally close to both, go in alphabetical order. For example:

Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

If the couple has different last names, you can list either name first based on your preference, or alphabetically. For example:

Mrs. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt

If the couple has a hyphenated last name, list the hyphenated name last. For example:

Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer

If you're addressing a married couple, the format is slightly different. For a heterosexual couple, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

Inner envelope: "Thomas and Michelle"

If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. For example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Maria and David"

Outer envelope: Formal names, no abbreviations

When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple living together, it is important to follow the correct etiquette to ensure your guests feel welcome and respected. Here are some detailed guidelines for the outer envelope when addressing an unmarried couple living together, using the format of "Formal names, no abbreviations":

• Use the full, formal names of both individuals, including their middle names if you know them. Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations of any kind. For example, "Mr. John Francis Smith, II" and "Ms. Anna Brown".
• Place each name on a separate line, with no "and" in between. This format indicates that the couple is unmarried.
• For a heterosexual couple, list the man's name first, followed by the woman's name. However, if you are closer to the woman or prefer to go by alphabetical order, you can list the woman's name first.
• If the couple has different last names, you can list either name first based on your preference, your closeness to the individuals, or alphabetical order.
• If one or both individuals have distinguished titles, such as doctors, lawyers, judges, or military personnel, use these titles before their names. For example, "Dr. John Francis Smith, II" and "Ms. Anna Brown, Esq.".
• Avoid using ampersands (&) or shorthand versions of addresses, such as "St." for "Street". Write out the full address, including the state name.
• If you are inviting children along with the couple, list their names on a separate line below the couple's names. For example, "Mr. John Francis Smith, II", "Ms. Anna Brown", "Miss Emily Brown".
• If the couple has the same last name, you can list them together with a connecting "and". For example, "Mr. John Francis Smith, II and Ms. Anna Smith".

Frequently asked questions