Planning The Perfect Wedding: Your Essential Guide

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, but with careful preparation, you can create your perfect day. From the dress to the decor and the cake, there's a lot to consider. One way to stay organized is to create a checklist and set monthly targets to meet your goals without feeling overwhelmed. In addition, surrounding yourself with the right people is essential, from choosing speech givers to inviting close friends and family to help you find the perfect dress. A wedding is also an emotional event, and a well-prepared speech can leave a lasting impression. To ensure you look and feel your best, it's recommended to do a makeup trial run and even practice your wedding kiss to avoid any awkward moments!

Who to invite: immediate family, wedding party, close friends, extended family, and casual friends

Deciding who to invite to your wedding is a big task and will likely be one of the first things you do when you start planning. The number of people you invite will impact your venue, wedding style, and budget. The more guests you invite, the more you will likely spend, so it's not a decision to be taken lightly.

Immediate Family

Your parents, siblings, and grandparents are considered immediate family and should be at the top of your guest list. If you have stepparents, stepsiblings, or half-siblings, they are also included in this category.

Wedding Party

Your closest friends and chosen family are also on the must-invite list. These loved ones may be included in your wedding party.

Close Friends

Once you've added your VIPs to the list, it's time to move on to close family like aunts, uncles, and first cousins. Depending on the number of relatives, your relationship with them, and the desired size of your wedding, you may invite all or some of them.

Extended Family

You likely have some relatives who you see once every few years. If you enjoy their company and think they will add to your day, feel free to invite them. But if you're not close, they shouldn't make the cut.

Casual Friends

Acquaintances like social media contacts, former colleagues, or neighbours you don't know well don't typically make the guest list. However, if you're having a huge, no-holds-barred wedding, you may want to include them.

Plus-Ones

Anyone in a serious relationship (engaged, married, living together, or dating for over a year) should be invited with a plus-one, whether you know their partner well or not. If you want to allow all your single guests to bring a date and can afford it, go for it—but this is not required.

Budgeting: how many guests you can afford, and how that affects the venue

Budgeting is one of the most important aspects of wedding planning. The number of guests you can afford to invite will largely depend on your overall budget, and this will, in turn, affect your choice of venue.

The average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2024 is $33,000, but this can vary depending on location, the time of year, and the number of guests. The guest list can have a massive impact on the overall cost of your wedding, as there is usually a per-head cost for food and liquor, which are typically the two biggest expenses. A smaller wedding will also mean savings on decor, stationery, favours, and rentals, as you won't need as much of these.

The venue is often the biggest investment for a wedding, with couples typically spending about 37% of their overall budget on the venue for the nuptials and reception. This includes the cost of renting the space for the ceremony and reception, as well as tables, chairs, linens, glassware, and other event rentals.

When deciding on your guest list, it's important to be realistic about what you can afford and to prioritize the people who are most important to you. Consider creating an A and B list, with your must-have guests on the A list, and those you could do without on the B list. This will help you stay within your budget and ensure that your venue is not too crowded.

If you're working with a tight budget, there are a few ways to save money on your venue. Consider choosing a less expensive location, such as a city park, or look for venues that offer package deals that include catering, rentals, and even photography. You could also opt for a less formal wedding style, as formal weddings tend to be more expensive.

Creating a detailed budget and sticking to it is crucial to ensuring you don't overspend. Be sure to track all expenses, taxes, and tips, and consider using a budget app or spreadsheet to stay organized. It's also a good idea to set aside some extra funds for unexpected costs, such as an emergency rain tent or last-minute vendor changes.

Remember, your wedding budget is a personal decision, and you can tailor it to your own needs and priorities. By being mindful of your finances and making smart choices, you can have the perfect wedding without breaking the bank.

Plus-ones: whether to allow plus-ones, and if so, who gets one

When it comes to plus-ones at your wedding, you have a few options to consider. First, decide if you want to allow plus-ones at all. If your wedding is going to be a small, intimate affair, or you have a limited guest list due to budget or venue constraints, you may choose not to allow any plus-ones. This ensures that only people you know are invited, and can help keep numbers manageable.

However, if you do decide to allow plus-ones, there are a few options to consider. You could offer plus-ones to everyone, which is a generous gesture and ensures that no one feels left out. This is a good option if you have many single friends and don't want them to feel lonely, and it can also add a fun, dynamic element to your guest list. Alternatively, you could offer plus-ones only to guests in a relationship. This is a more common approach and ensures that people have a familiar face with them, but it can be tricky to define what constitutes a 'relationship' and might cause some confusion or hurt feelings.

Another option is to offer plus-ones only to guests who don't know anyone else at the wedding, which can help them feel more comfortable and ensure they have a good time. This might include out-of-town guests, or friends who don't know your other guests. This approach can be more exclusive and cost-effective, but it can be tricky to navigate and might cause some friction if people feel their partner has been unfairly excluded.

Finally, you could offer plus-ones based on the nature of your relationship with the guest. For example, you could offer plus-ones to close family and members of the wedding party, or to guests who are travelling from out of town. This approach ensures that the people closest to you have a positive experience, and it can be a nice way to show your appreciation to those who have made a special effort to attend. Ultimately, the decision on how to handle plus-ones is a personal one and will depend on your unique circumstances, but considering these options should help you find a solution that suits your wedding vision.

Children: whether to invite children, and if so, which ones

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding, and which ones to include, can be tricky. Here are some considerations to help you make this decision:

Firstly, it's important to establish the age cut-off for children. This can be a tricky decision as you don't want to offend any parents, but it's worth considering the age at which children can entertain themselves without constant supervision. A good guideline is to set the age limit at 12 or 13 years old, but you can adjust this based on your personal preference and the children in question.

Next, you should consider the relationships between the children and the people involved in the wedding. Are they close cousins, nieces, or nephews? If so, it's only natural to want them to share your special day. Additionally, think about the dynamics between the children themselves. If they are already friends, inviting them all will ensure they can keep each other company and have fun together.

Another factor to consider is the number of children you would invite. If you have a large number of young guests, it may be worth organising some form of entertainment or activities specifically for them. This could include setting up a kids' table with colouring books, crafts, or games to keep them occupied during the reception. You could even hire a babysitter or two to supervise the children's activities, ensuring the adults can also relax and enjoy the celebration.

When deciding which children to invite, it's important to be consistent. If you invite one cousin's children, it's only fair to invite the others' as well. Excluding some children while inviting others in the same family may cause tension and hurt feelings. Similarly, if you have children in your bridal party, such as flower girls or ring bearers, it's customary to include them in the guest list, too.

Finally, don't be afraid to politely decline if someone assumes their children are invited. Simply explain that, due to space or budget constraints, you are unable to accommodate all children. Most parents will understand these limitations and respect your decision. Ultimately, it's your special day, so make the decision that feels right for you and your partner.

Timing: when to send invites, and how that affects the guest list

The timing of sending out wedding invitations is crucial and can affect whether your guests are able to attend. Send your invitations out six to eight weeks before the wedding date. This gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed. It also means you can request RSVPs sooner, which is helpful for getting a final headcount and completing your seating plan.

If you are having a destination wedding or if a large percentage of your guest list lives abroad, it is best to send out invitations around three months or twelve weeks before the wedding. This gives international guests enough time to prepare and account for extended shipping times.

If you are skipping save-the-dates, you should send your invitations out six months in advance for a standard engagement length. If you are only engaged for a few months before tying the knot, you should aim for two to three months before the wedding.

It is important to note that sending your invitations too early or too late can be inconsiderate and may affect guest attendance. Sending invitations too early may mean that your wedding isn't at the top of your guests' minds as the day draws closer, and they may forget to RSVP. Sending them too late may not give your guests enough time to take time off work, book accommodations, or make travel arrangements.

To ensure your guests have all the information they need, it is a good idea to create a wedding website. This can include details such as the wedding date and location, accommodation options, a link to your gift registry, and a virtual RSVP option.

Frequently asked questions