Ring Bearer's Seat: Where's Best?

The ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, who walk down the aisle carrying the wedding rings on a pillow or in a box. The child is usually between the ages of three and eight and is often the son, nephew, or another relative of the couple. During the ceremony, the ring bearer can either stand at the altar with the rest of the wedding party or sit down, usually with their parents. If the wedding is child-free, the couple must decide whether to invite the ring bearer to the reception.

The ring bearer's role and history

The role of the ring bearer is to precede the bride down the aisle, usually carrying the wedding ring on a pillow. The ring bearer is typically a young child, often a boy, and is usually a family member or friend. The role is not limited by gender, however, and can be performed by a girl or an adult. In some cases, the family dog acts as the ring bearer.

The ring bearer is usually between 3 and 10 years old, but their age doesn't really matter as long as it's a role that they will enjoy. The child's parents should be asked first if they are willing to take on the responsibility, and they are usually responsible for paying for the ring bearer's outfit and accessories.

The tradition of the ring bearer is thought to have originated in Ancient Egypt, where it was common for treasured jewels to be carried on ornamental pillows during wedding ceremonies and other celebrations. However, some historians believe the tradition began in Medieval times, when Northern Europeans presented the bride with her wedding ring on the tip of a sword. Pillows were considered a symbol of wealth, as they were rare during this era.

During the Victorian era, ring bearers, or "pageboys", wore velvet jackets, short trousers and round linen collars, with large white crepe bows. Today, ring bearers usually wear tiny tuxedos, suits, or khakis with bow ties and suspenders.

During the ceremony, the ring bearer can stand at the altar with the rest of the wedding party or sit with their parents. If the ring bearer is old enough to walk on their own, they should head down the aisle after the wedding party and deliver the rings to the best man or wedding officiant.

Where should the ring bearer sit during the ceremony?

The ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, who are usually between the ages of three and eight. They are responsible for delivering the wedding rings to the couple during the ceremony.

During the ceremony, the ring bearer usually walks down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and before the flower girls, who precede the bride. Once they reach the altar, they hand the rings to either the officiant or the best man. After this, the ring bearer can either stand at the altar with the rest of the wedding party or sit down.

If the ring bearer is sitting down, they should be seated with their parents, ideally one or two rows back from the altar. This allows the parents to encourage young ring bearers to walk towards the altar and serve as a distraction if needed. If the ring bearer is old enough to walk on their own, they can sit with their parents after completing the processional.

If the ring bearer is standing, they can stand next to the bride or groom during the ceremony. However, it is a good idea to have a seat available for them in case they get tired.

Choosing a ring bearer

Including children in your wedding can be a heartwarming experience, and one of the roles they can play is that of a ring bearer. A ring bearer is a young member of the wedding party, usually between the ages of 2 and 8, who is responsible for carrying the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. While they are not necessary to get you formally hitched, they do add a special touch to your wedding. Here are some tips on choosing a ring bearer:

Decide if you want kids at your wedding

Before choosing a ring bearer, decide if you want children at your wedding at all. Inviting children to your wedding has its advantages, such as the cuteness factor, but it can also pose potential issues, especially if the kids are very young. Even if you decide on an adults-only wedding, you can still have a ring bearer and/or flower girl.

Choose a ring bearer of appropriate age

Traditionally, ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight years old. Younger children may be shy or nervous at the wedding, while older ring bearers may feel more comfortable and be able to better handle the responsibility. If you want to include a child who is older than 10, consider giving them a junior groomsman role instead, which comes with more responsibilities and involvement in pre-wedding events. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what age your ring bearer is, as long as you think they will enjoy the role.

Create a list of potential ring bearers

If you already have children, or your siblings or close friends do, choosing a ring bearer may be obvious. But if not, you may need to think outside the box. Consider older children in your family who could walk down the aisle as ushers or junior groomsmen, or designate some of the girls as ring bearers. Don't be afraid to break gender roles and age limitations! If you have multiple candidates, consider who has been in a wedding before and who hasn't, and give someone new a chance to shine.

Involve the parents

Remember that the parents of your chosen ring bearer will have a lot of behind-the-scenes work to do, from purchasing the child's wedding attire to preparing them for the big day and handling any potential meltdowns. Before selecting a ring bearer, consider whether their parents are willing and able to handle these responsibilities, and don't be shy about asking them directly. If the child's parents are already in your wedding party, it may be easier for them to manage. Also, keep in mind that the parents will typically pay for the ring bearer's outfit, so give them some input on what the child will wear.

Ask the right way

Always get permission from the parents before asking a child to be your ring bearer. Once you have their approval, get creative when asking the child! Surprise them with a new toy, a sweet card, or even their favourite candy.

What should a ring bearer wear?

The ring bearer is usually a child between the ages of three and eight, and they are often dressed in a tiny tuxedo or suit. The most common approach is to dress the ring bearer in a miniature version of the groom's outfit, including the tuxedo jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or long tie, pocket square, studs and cufflinks. This allows the ring bearer to stand out from the groomsmen while still coordinating with the groom's outfit.

Another option is to dress the ring bearer in the same style as the groomsmen, so they feel like "one of the guys". In this case, their accessories (long tie, bow tie and pocket square) can be matched with the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses.

If the ring bearer is too small for a tuxedo, they can wear just the pants, a shirt, a bow tie, suspenders and shoes.

The child's parents typically pay for the ring bearer's outfit, so it's a good idea to give them options at different price points. If your budget allows, you could offer to pay for the outfit, or purchase an accessory that could become a memento of the day.

How should the ring bearer carry the rings?

The ring bearer is usually a young boy, between the ages of three and ten, and is typically the son of a close friend or relative. The ring bearer is responsible for carrying the couple's wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony.

Traditionally, the ring bearer carries the rings on a pillow. However, there are many creative alternatives to this tradition. For example, if the couple met while playing softball, the ring could be placed on a softball glove. You can also put the rings in a box, a ring dish, or a bouquet. Another idea is to have the ring bearer carry a cute banner down the aisle, which ensures that the rings won't be lost.

Most couples choose to have the best man carry the real rings as a precaution. If your ring bearer is very young, it is best to have them hold an empty pillow or a decorative sign. There is also the option of tying plastic rings to a ribbon on the pillow. Alternatively, you can give the ring bearer fake rings, so you don't have to worry about losing them. The best man or maid of honour can then carry the real rings.

Frequently asked questions