Maid Of Honor Wedding Invite: What's The Protocol?

The maid of honor is the bride's right-hand woman and is responsible for a variety of tasks before, during, and after the wedding. From planning the bachelorette party to acting as a point of contact for guests, the maid of honor plays a crucial role in ensuring the wedding runs smoothly. One of the main duties of the maid of honor is to provide support and assistance to the bride, including helping with wedding dress shopping and providing emotional support.

With that being said, it is customary for the maid of honor to receive a wedding invitation. In fact, the maid of honor is usually one of the first people to receive an invitation, as they play such an important role in the wedding planning process and on the big day itself.

Pre-wedding duties

The maid of honor has a lot of responsibilities in the lead-up to the wedding. She is the bride's right-hand woman and go-to friend and is expected to provide support and assistance throughout the planning process.

• Support the bride: The maid of honor should be the bride's confidant and provide emotional support throughout the planning process.
• Lead the bridal party: The maid of honor should connect the bridal party via email or text and check in on their budgets for any pre-wedding events.
• Attend wedding dress shopping: The maid of honor often attends dress fittings and provides honest feedback to help the bride choose her wedding dress.
• Stay organized: With so many tasks to juggle, the maid of honor must stay on top of her duties and not let anything slip through the cracks.
• Be the point of contact: The maid of honor absorbs wedding information and acts as the main point of contact for the bridal party, family members, and guests.
• Mediate conflicts: The maid of honor maintains peace among the bridal party and answers any questions they may have.
• Plan pre-wedding events: The maid of honor typically leads the planning for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, working within the bride's preferences and the bridal party's budgets.
• Track gifts: During the bridal shower, the maid of honor helps the bride open gifts and keeps track of who gave what for thank-you notes.
• Prepare a survival kit: The maid of honor should put together a kit of essentials like Advil, band-aids, and safety pins for any wedding-related emergencies.
• Lend a hand with DIY projects: The maid of honor can offer to help with addressing invitations, making centerpieces, or assembling favors.
• Prepare a speech: The maid of honor usually gives a speech at the reception, so it's a good idea to start jotting down ideas and practicing well in advance.
• Offer to help: The maid of honor can offer to assist with any last-minute tasks, such as packing for the honeymoon or running errands.
• Stay in communication: The maid of honor should maintain open communication with the bride, regularly checking in to see how she's doing and if she needs any help.
• Help choose wedding party gifts: The maid of honor can assist the bride in selecting gifts to show appreciation for the bridal party's hard work.
• Assemble invitations: The maid of honor can guide the bride in choosing and assembling invitations and placing them in the mail.
• Attend dress fittings: Attending dress fittings with the bride is a great way for the maid of honor to bond and provide support.
• Help plan the rehearsal dinner: The maid of honor can assist in planning the rehearsal dinner, which usually takes place the night before the wedding.
• Plan the bridal shower: The maid of honor plays a key role in planning the bridal shower, including choosing a venue, creating a guest list, and organizing decorations and activities.
• Plan the bachelorette party: The maid of honor is expected to take the lead in planning the bachelorette party, considering the bride's preferences and the bridal party's budgets.

Wedding dress shopping

Before the Appointment:

• Discuss expectations with the bride: Talk to the bride about her vision for her wedding dress and the overall wedding theme. Does she prefer a traditional or modern style? Is there a particular silhouette or fabric she likes? Understanding her preferences will help guide your search.
• Research bridal boutiques: Look for reputable bridal boutiques or salons that offer a wide variety of wedding dress styles and sizes. Check online reviews and ask for recommendations from other brides or wedding planners.
• Schedule an appointment: Book an appointment at the chosen boutique to ensure dedicated time and attention from a bridal consultant. Weekdays are usually quieter, so you may have a more relaxed experience.

During the Appointment:

• Bring the right entourage: Accompany the bride to the appointment, along with any other important people she wants to include, such as her mother, sister, or close friends. Keep the group small to avoid too many conflicting opinions.
• Be open-minded: Encourage the bride to try on a variety of dress styles, even if they differ from her initial vision. Sometimes, a dress that didn't seem appealing on the hanger can surprise you once it's on.
• Take notes and photos: As you try on different dresses, take notes on what the bride likes and dislikes about each one. Photos can also help the bride compare different styles and remember specific details.
• Offer honest and constructive feedback: Provide your genuine opinion on how each dress looks and fits. Be respectful and sensitive in your feedback, focusing on the dress rather than the bride's body.

After the Appointment:

• Help with decision-making: If the bride has found "the one," congratulate her and offer to assist with any further steps, such as scheduling fittings or coordinating alterations.
• Keep the momentum going: If the bride hasn't found her dream dress, reassure her that the right one is still out there. Suggest visiting another boutique or exploring custom design options.
• Maintain a positive attitude: Wedding dress shopping can be emotionally charged, so it's important to remain positive and supportive throughout the process. Remind the bride that she will look beautiful no matter what, and your role is to help her find the dress that makes her feel like herself.

Planning the bridal shower

Planning a bridal shower can be a daunting task, but with the right tools and preparation, it can be a fun and memorable experience for everyone involved. Here are some detailed instructions to help you plan an unforgettable bridal shower:

Start Early:

Give yourself at least three to six months to plan the bridal shower. This will allow you to create a thoughtful celebration that the bride and guests will love.

Consult the Bride:

While surprises are fun, it's important to consult the bride and get her input on the guest list, theme, date, time, location, and activities. This is her special day, so make sure it aligns with her vision and preferences.

Choose a Theme:

A theme is a great way to add personality to the party. Think about the bride's hobbies, passions, and interests when selecting a theme. It could be something as simple as a colour palette or a more specific theme like a secret garden party or a honeymoon-themed celebration.

Pick a Date and Location:

Bridal showers typically take place two to three months before the wedding. When selecting a date, consider the bride's schedule and the availability of important guests. The location should be easily accessible for most guests and can be someone's home, a restaurant, an outdoor venue, or a rented space.

Create the Guest List:

The guest list typically includes members of the wedding party, close family, and friends. Remember, everyone invited to the bridal shower must also be invited to the wedding. It's important to get the bride's approval on the guest list and ensure that the location can accommodate the number of guests.

Send Out Invitations:

Mail or email invitations four to eight weeks before the shower. Include the bride's name, date, time, location, registry information, and RSVP details. If there is a theme or dress code, be sure to mention it on the invitation.

Plan the Menu and Drinks:

The food and drinks should complement the theme and the bride's preferences. Consider the time of day and any dietary restrictions of the guests. You can opt for a catered meal, potluck, or DIY option. Don't forget to stock the bar with a variety of beverages, including non-alcoholic options.

Decorations and Favours:

Decorations can be as simple or extravagant as you like. Think about the theme and the bride's style when selecting decorations. Fresh flowers, balloons, and personalised touches are always a nice touch. If you're including favours, make them memorable and useful, like scented candles or potted succulents.

Games and Activities:

Games and activities are a great way to break the ice and get everyone involved. Traditional bridal shower games include bingo, wedding dress design using toilet paper, and bridal trivia. You can also plan a hands-on craft or an activity that aligns with the theme, like a calligraphy lesson or spa day.

Gifts:

Create a designated area for gifts and have someone keep track of who gave what to make it easier for the bride to send thank-you notes. It's also a nice touch to create a ribbon bouquet from the gift wrappings for the bride to carry during the wedding rehearsal.

Remember to delegate tasks to the bridesmaids, family, and friends to make the planning process more manageable. Happy planning!

Bachelorette party planning

Planning a bachelorette party is one of the most important duties of a maid of honor. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you plan an unforgettable bachelorette party:

Local vs Destination:

The first step is to decide whether the bachelorette party will be local or at a destination. Consult with the bride to determine her preference. While destination bachelorette parties are becoming more common, they may not be suitable for every bride due to factors such as cost, guest list, or travel logistics.

Choose a Location:

If the bride opts for a destination party, it's your job to help her choose the perfect location. Consider factors such as the time of year, budget, and, most importantly, the bride's personality. Narrow down the options to a few choices, and if you're still undecided, enlist the opinions of the other bridesmaids. Remember that destination parties can be more expensive, so ensure everyone is on board and comfortable with the cost.

Set a Date:

The bachelorette party is usually a long weekend getaway, typically Thursday to Sunday or Friday to Monday. Plan the trip no earlier than two months before the wedding and no later than two weeks before to ensure the bride has free time before her big day, and the fun doesn't end too soon. Consult with the bride and bridesmaids to find a date that works for everyone.

Book Lodging and Travel:

Start looking into travel and accommodation options early. While each bridesmaid typically books their own transportation, it's helpful to keep everyone informed about flight times and prices to facilitate travelling together and ensure equal costs. For accommodation, consider renting a home through Airbnb or VRBO, which can be more cost-effective for larger groups.

Choose a Theme:

Many brides enjoy having a theme for their bachelorette party. Consult with the bride about her vision and preferences before making any major decisions.

Research the Destination:

A few weeks before the trip, research the destination to create a basic itinerary of fun ideas. Look into top-rated restaurants, bars, clubs, and other attractions. Reach out to your accommodation host or hotel concierge for local recommendations.

Plan Girls' Night Games:

Prepare some games for those downtime moments spent at your accommodation. These games can also help break the ice between bridesmaids who may not know each other well.

Decorate Your Accommodation:

Turn your rental home into a party pad with decorations. You can go as wild as you like with the decor, and don't be afraid to incorporate some R-rated items! Contact your host to see if they can decorate before your arrival, or surprise the bride by setting up the decorations while she waits in another room.

Coordinate Attire:

Talk to the bride about coordinating outfits for the bridesmaids. A common example is for the bride to wear white while her bridesmaids wear black, usually on the first night for a fancy dinner and dancing. Another trend is for the bride and bridesmaids to wear matching outfits during the day for brunch and day drinking.

Assemble Goodie Bags:

Create "Oh Shit Kits" for the bride and her maids, including items like Advil, Pedialyte powder, hair ties, and temporary tattoos.

Start a Shared Photo Folder:

Create a shared photo folder, such as an iCloud album, to easily compile and access all the photos taken during the bachelorette weekend.

Final Packing and Confirmation:

Create a packing list and double-check that you have all your travel documents, lodging arrangements, transportation plans, and decorations ready. Get in touch with the bridesmaids to ensure they are on the same page and confirm that they have packed any specific items. Do a final check-in with the bride to address any last-minute changes or concerns.

Now you're all set to enjoy the bachelorette party and create unforgettable memories with your bestie!

Wedding day duties

The maid of honor's duties on the wedding day are to:

• Drop off any reception items, such as toasting flutes, the couple's registry book, candle lighting, seating cards, or wedding favors, at the ceremony and/or reception venues.
• Keep the bridal suite tidy. Once all the bridesmaids are done getting ready, the maid of honor ensures they remove their belongings from the suite so the newlyweds don't return to a mess.
• Provide emotional support and keep the bride calm. The maid of honor should also help the bride relish the excitement of the day.
• Make sure the bride remembers to eat and stays hydrated. Check in periodically to see if the bride needs something to eat or drink.
• Assist the mother of the bride with her hair and makeup, and provide her with water, snacks, and sips of champagne.
• Pitch in with social media. Take photos and videos of the behind-the-scenes moments, such as Champagne toasts and the bride getting into her dress, and post them on social media if the bride is okay with it.
• Keep the couple separated before the ceremony if they're following the tradition of not seeing each other. Touch base with the wedding planner to ensure the couple doesn't cross paths.
• Help the bride get dressed and serve as her personal stylist. Assist with the bride's hair, makeup, veil, shoes, jewelry, and undergarments.
• Provide assistance in the restroom. Help the bride with her dress, heels, and hair when she needs to use the restroom.
• Keep the wedding rings safe. The maid of honor may be in charge of safekeeping one of the rings at some point during the day.
• Take care of the bouquet. Hold the bride's bouquet when she walks down the aisle and after she says "I do."
• Dance with the bride at the reception.
• Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (optional).
• Enter the reception with the best man.
• Help bustle the bride's train and use the restroom. Learn how to bustle the bride's gown before the wedding so you can help keep her dress train clean and make it more comfortable for dancing.
• Answer guests' questions and direct them.
• Make sure the bride stays stress-free. Shield the bride from any mini-crises that occur during the reception.
• Give a speech/toast after the best man.
• Collect wedding gifts if necessary.
• Tie up any other loose ends, such as storing the bride's wedding gown and ensuring the top tier of the wedding cake ends up in a freezer.

Frequently asked questions