Creating a B-list of wedding guests is a tricky business. The B-list is made up of people you'd love to invite but may not be able to accommodate due to a limited budget or venue space. The key to successfully sending B-list invites is to do it early on and to keep it top secret. Send your A-list invites out 10-12 weeks ahead of the wedding and then, eight weeks before, send B-list invites to match the number of A-listers who have declined. Make sure to order two sets of RSVP cards with different reply-by dates to give B-listers enough time to respond. It's also a good idea to place groups of friends and family on the same list to avoid any hurt feelings.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
When to send B-list invites | When A-listers decline, send B-list invites at the eight-week mark with an RSVP deadline of four weeks. |
Who to send B-list invites to | People you'd love to invite but may not be able to accommodate due to a limited budget or venue space. |
How to send B-list invites | Be respectful and keep your B-list on the DL. |
What You'll Learn
Timing is everything
When it comes to wedding B-lists, timing is everything. The last thing you want is for your B-list guests to realise they were not on the original guest list. To avoid this, send your A-list invitations out about 10-12 weeks ahead of the wedding. This will allow people who know they are unable to attend to send their regrets, opening up B-list invitation opportunities. You can then send your B-list invites eight weeks before the wedding, giving them plenty of time to respond.
If you are inviting out-of-town guests, it is courteous to send their invitations out early, too. This will give them more time to make travel arrangements, and if they can't make it, you can fill their spots with people from your B-list.
It's also a good idea to have two RSVP deadlines. The first, for your A-list, should be around eight weeks before the wedding, and the second, for your B-list, should be three to four weeks before. This will give you plenty of time to get a final headcount for your venue and caterer.
It's important to be organised when it comes to B-lists. Make your B-list decisions early, and organise it in order of priority. That way, you know who to invite first when the regrets start coming in. It's also a good idea to have a cut-off date for B-list invites and to mail them all on the same day. This will help you keep track and ensure invitations arrive in a timely manner.
Finally, if you are inviting groups of friends or colleagues, it's best to send their invitations at the same time. That way, no one will feel left out if they find out they were invited later than their friends.
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Make B-list decisions early
Creating a B-list for your wedding is a great way to ensure your celebration is filled with family and friends. However, it can be a little tricky and time-consuming. So, it is important to make decisions about your B-list early on.
Firstly, decide if you need a B-list at all. If you're having a small wedding, you may only need an A-list. If you do need a B-list, start thinking about your guest list early on in your engagement. Who is an absolute must, and who would you love to include if only you had the room? Finalise your A-list and then immediately start on your B-list, so you have time to decide who is on it and in what order.
The B-list should be organised in order of priority. At the top, put those who feel really important but didn't quite make the A-list cut. At the bottom, put those who would be nice to include but are not necessary. This way, when you start receiving RSVPs from your A-list, you can send invitations to the corresponding number of people at the top of your B-list.
Finally, make sure you have enough invitations and RSVP cards for your B-list. You can send these out as soon as you start receiving RSVPs from your A-list.
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Organise intentionally
Creating a B-list is a nuanced process, but with some extra prep, you can navigate it without any guest list faux pas. Here are some tips to organise your B-list intentionally:
- Make B-list decisions early. If you think you might need an A-list and a B-list, decide as soon as possible. This will give you time to determine who is on each list and figure out arrangements for invitations and RSVP deadlines.
- Prioritise your B-list. Organise your B-list in order of priority. Put those who feel important but didn't make the A-cut at the top, and those who would be nice to include but are not necessary toward the bottom. That way, if you have 10 people from your A-list who RSVP "no", you know who the first 10 people on the B-list are and can send them invitations promptly.
- Make a separate list for family and close friends. To avoid having friends compare their invites and realise they may have been on the B-list, decide on consistent criteria for what qualifies someone for the A-list vs. the B-list and apply it across the board. For instance, you could base this on how much time you spend with them or the strength of your connection.
- Send invitations early. If you have an A-list and a B-list, send your A-list invitations out around 12 weeks in advance, which will give you plenty of time to see who can't make it before sending your B-list invites.
- Have two sets of RSVP cards. Print two sets of RSVP cards with different deadlines. The first set, going out with the A-list invitations, should have an RSVP deadline of around eight weeks before the wedding. The second set, going out with the B-list invitations, should have an RSVP deadline of around three weeks before the wedding.
- Mail the B-list invites at once. Choose a deadline date for adding B-list guests to your "invited" list and mail all the B-list invitations on the same day to keep track of who you've added and ensure timely delivery.
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Send invitations early
Sending out your wedding invites early is a great way to get your guests excited and ensure they have plenty of time to plan and prepare for your big day. While the general recommendation is to send out invites six to eight weeks in advance, there are several reasons to consider sending them out even earlier.
Allow Guests to Plan
Sending out your invitations early gives your guests plenty of time to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel arrangements. This is especially important if you have guests coming from out of town or if your wedding falls around a major holiday. By sending your invitations early, you can increase the chances of your guests being able to attend.
Get a Final Head Count
Sending out your invitations early is also beneficial if you are managing an A-list and a B-list of guests. By giving your A-list guests more time to RSVP, you can determine how many guests from your B-list you can invite. This helps you stay within your venue's capacity and budget while still inviting as many people as possible.
Stay Organized
Sending out your invitations early can also help you stay organized during the wedding planning process. You can set an earlier RSVP deadline, giving you more time to finalize your seating chart and provide a final headcount to your caterer. This reduces last-minute stress and allows you to focus on other wedding preparations.
Create a Smooth Process
By sending out your invitations early, you can also space out other wedding-related tasks. For example, you can send out save-the-dates six to eight months in advance or even earlier if you are having a destination wedding. This gives your guests a heads-up to hold the date and plan their travel accordingly.
Build Excitement
Finally, sending out your invitations early can build excitement for your wedding. Your guests will be thrilled to receive their invitation and will look forward to celebrating with you. It also gives them something to look forward to, especially if your wedding is several months away.
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Have two sets of RSVP cards
To avoid any confusion or hurt feelings, it's important to have two sets of RSVP cards with different deadlines. Here are some tips to consider when creating your RSVP cards:
Two Sets of RSVP Cards:
- First set of RSVP cards: The first set, which accompanies the A-List invitations, should have an RSVP deadline of approximately eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests a reasonable amount of time to respond and make necessary arrangements.
- Second set of RSVP cards: The second set, sent with the B-List invitations, should have an RSVP deadline of around three to four weeks before the wedding. This aligns with traditional etiquette and still allows enough time to provide final numbers to the venue and caterers.
- Print two versions: It is recommended to print two versions of the RSVP cards or, alternatively, use digital RSVPs via a wedding website. This ensures that guests are not alerted to the existence of multiple guest lists.
- Early RSVPs for out-of-town guests: It is courteous to give early invitations to out-of-town guests, allowing them more time to plan their travel. This also benefits the couple, as any declines from this group provide more time to fill their spots with B-List guests.
- Keep groups together: To avoid any social awkwardness, ensure that friends and family groups are placed on the same list. This prevents a situation where one friend realises they were on the B-List while the rest of the group was on the A-List.
- Keep the lists secret: It is advisable to keep the existence of the A-List and B-List secret. Guests who were not invited in the first round might feel less important, and it is best to avoid any potential hurt feelings.
Having two sets of RSVP cards with different deadlines is a practical way to manage your guest lists and ensure a smooth invitation process.
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Frequently asked questions
Send B-list invites at the same time as a second wave of A-list invites, eight weeks before the wedding. This gives B-listers enough time to respond and make travel arrangements if necessary.
Make sure you send B-list invites at the same time, rather than in batches, and don't leave it too close to the RSVP deadline. It's also a good idea to monitor your Facebook page and delete any posts about invitations being received.
Be honest and explain that your wedding guest list was restricted and you needed to stagger the invitation process while waiting for RSVPs.