Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Addressing Envelopes The Right Way

Wedding invitations are a chance to showcase your style and set the tone for your big day. But before you get too creative, there are a few etiquette rules to follow, especially when it comes to addressing your guests. The traditional format for wedding invitations includes an outer and inner envelope, with the outer envelope being more formal and the inner envelope more casual. The outer envelope should include the guest's full name and title, if preferred, while the inner envelope can include just their names. For married couples, it's common to use Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name, but this can be seen as outdated and even sexist. An alternative is to list the woman's name first or use Mr. and Mrs. followed by their full names. Including titles such as Dr. or Esq. is also an option, especially for more formal weddings.

Outer envelope address format

The outer envelope is the envelope that is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and the invitation itself. The outer envelope should be formal and include the recipient's full name, including their personal title. This format works for couples of all genders, whether they share a surname or not, and still feels somewhat traditional. For example, for a heterosexual married couple, the outer envelope could be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke". For a same-sex married couple, the outer envelope could be addressed to "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton".

If you feel that personal titles are restrictive and exclusive, you can forgo them and use first and last names only. It is important to note that "Mx." might be the preferred title for a non-binary guest. Always double-check each attendee's preferred personal title beforehand if you plan to incorporate them into the wedding invitations.

The outer envelope should also include the guest's home address, placed on the line below their name. For a more formal invitation, avoid abbreviations. A formal address example would be:

> Mr. John Corner and Mrs. Jenifer Corner

> 16 Faux Road

> Fremont, California 94539

For a more casual invitation, abbreviations such as "St.", "Rd.", and "CA" are acceptable. A casual address example would be:

> Mr. John Corner and Mrs. Jenifer Corner

> 16 Faux Rd

> Fremont, CA 94539

Inner envelope address format

The inner envelope is smaller than the outer envelope and is traditionally marked only by the titles and last names of the guests. Here are some guidelines for addressing your inner envelopes:

Married Couple (same last name)

• Formal: Mr. and Mrs. Baldwin
• Contemporary: James and Heather

Married Couple (different last names)

• Formal: Ms. Swift and Mr. Brookes
• Contemporary: Sandy and George

Single Woman

• Formal: Miss Cartwright and Ben (only if you do not know the name of the guest, you should write "and guest")
• Contemporary: Cynthia

Single Man

• Formal: Mr. Anderson
• Contemporary: Ben

Unmarried Couple (at the same address)

• Formal: Ms. Smith and Mr. Green
• Contemporary: Colleen and James

If children or families are invited, their names are listed under those of the parents:

• Formal: Mr. and Mrs. Brown or Kevin and Katrina
• Contemporary: Andrea, Steve and family or Andrea, Steve, Kevin and Katrina

Judge (if single)

Judge Brown

Judge (if married)

Judge Brown and Mrs. Brown

Doctor (Medical) if single

Doctor Grimes and Guest

Doctor (Medical) if married

Doctor and Mrs. Grimes

Doctor (PhD) if single

Dr. Henry Skinner and Guest

Doctor (PhD) if married

Dr. and Mrs. Skinner

Married Woman Doctor

Doctor Strokes Mr. Miller

Married Couple, Both Doctors

The Doctors Kelly

Clergy

The Reverend White

Officer- Male, active duty or retired from service

Captain and Mrs. Greene

Officer- Female, active duty or retired from service

Captain Hart Mr. Carl Waters

Addressing a married couple

When addressing a married couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles or prefixes. For a heterosexual couple, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the male's full name. However, this can be seen as outdated and many prefer to list both first names individually, e.g., "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Mary Smith". For same-sex couples, simply indicate the appropriate prefix in front of their names accordingly, e.g., "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton".

If the married couple has the same last name, you can list them together using the husband's first and last name, e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Robert Belcher". Alternatively, you can use both the husband's and wife's first and last names if you want to address them equally, e.g., "Mr. Robert Belcher and Mrs. Linda Belcher".

For married couples with different last names, you can list either name first based on your preference, or alphabetically. The traditional format is "Mrs." followed by the woman's first and last name, and then "Mr." and the man's full name, e.g., "Mrs. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt". However, many prefer to list the names alphabetically or with the person they are closest to first, regardless of gender, e.g., "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews".

If one partner has a hyphenated name, list the hyphenated name last. Either "Ms." or "Mrs." can be used, e.g., "Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer".

When addressing a married couple with one or both partners having a distinguished title, such as doctors, military personnel, or judges, the person with the distinguished title is listed first, regardless of gender. For example, "The Honorable Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mr. Martin David Ginsburg". If both partners have distinguished titles, the higher-ranking title comes first, and if they are of the same rank, traditionally the woman is listed first, e.g., "Colonel Peter Jefferies and Reverend Margaret Jefferies".

When it comes to the inner envelope, you can be less formal and have the option to use only titles and last names or first names only, especially if you are very close to the couple. For a couple with the same last name, you can write "Mr. and Mrs. Belcher" or "Robert and Linda". For a couple with different last names, you can write "Mrs. Knope and Mr. Wyatt" or "Leslie and Ben".

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, it's important to use their preferred title and full name. Here are some examples to illustrate the correct format:

For a Single Female Guest:

Outer envelope: Use "Ms." if she is over 18. If she is younger, use "Miss", spelled out in full rather than abbreviated.

• Ms. Stephanie Chen (for a guest over 18)
• Miss Stephanie Chen (for a guest under 18)

Inner envelope: You can use just the person's surname or their first name.

• Ms. Chen
• Stephanie

If the single female guest has been offered a plus-one, you don't need to mention this on the outer envelope. Simply add "and guest" to the inner envelope:

• Ms. Chen and guest
• Stephanie and guest

For a Single Male Guest:

Outer envelope: Use "Mr." if he is over 18. If he is younger, no title is necessary.

• Mr. James Montgomery (for a guest over 18)
• James Montgomery (for a guest under 18)

Inner envelope: You can use just the person's surname or their first name.

• Mr. Montgomery
• James

If the single male guest has been offered a plus-one, you don't need to mention this on the outer envelope. Simply add "and guest" to the inner envelope:

• Mr. Montgomery and guest
• James and guest

For a Non-Binary Guest:

Outer envelope: Use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.

Mx. Sam Li

Inner envelope: You can use their first name.

Sam

If your non-binary guest has a plus-one, you can indicate this on the inner envelope:

Sam and Guest

For a Widowed Woman:

It is recommended to ask about her preference. Some widowed women may prefer to be addressed using their married name, while others may opt for "Ms."

• Mrs. George Devereaux
• Mrs. Blanche Devereaux

For a Divorced Woman:

You can use either "Ms." or "Mrs." For the surname, you can use either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.

• Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon
• Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway

Addressing a family

When addressing a family on a wedding invitation, there are a few different options to consider. If you are inviting the whole family, including children, you can address the envelope to "The [Family Name] Family". Alternatively, you can list the names of the parents and add "& Children" or "and Family" after their names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson & Children".

If you want to be specific about which family members are invited, list the names of the children (in order of birth) on separate lines after addressing the parents in the opening line. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily".

If there are children over the age of 18 living at home, it is recommended that they receive their own invitations. If there are children under 18, their names are not required on the outer envelope, but they should be listed on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use the prefix "Miss". Boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.".

When addressing a married couple with the same last name, you can use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name, followed by the wife's first name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. If the couple prefers a more modern approach, you can include both of their first names, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Amy Chan".

For a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long, list them separately. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

If you are only using one envelope, all invited parties should be clearly stated on the front, including guests that are typically only listed on the inner envelope, such as plus-ones and children.

Frequently asked questions