Wedding Shower Guest List: How Many To Invite?

Planning a wedding shower and unsure about how many people to invite? Wedding showers are typically smaller and more intimate than the wedding itself, with a guest list that includes the couple's nearest and dearest. The number of people invited to a wedding shower can vary depending on the couple's preferences, the venue, and budget constraints. A general rule of thumb is to invite between 30 to 40 people, knowing that some may not be able to attend. Ultimately, the couple should decide on the guest list in collaboration with the host, ensuring that everyone invited to the shower is also on the wedding guest list.

The bride decides the number of guests

While the host or hostess of the bridal shower usually decides on the guest list, the bride-to-be is the one who ultimately decides the number of guests. It is important to consult with her about how many guests she feels comfortable with and who those guests will be. The bride's closest friends, bridal party, and family will typically make up the majority of the guest list. The bride may also want to include her partner's close family members, such as their mother, sisters, aunts, and cousins. If the groom has a close group of female friends, they may also be invited, especially if the bride is close with them as well.

The bride-to-be should provide the host with a list of "must-have" guests to ensure that her closest friends and family are included. It is also essential to discuss venue constraints and budget limitations, as these factors can impact the number of guests. The bride may also want to consider whether she prefers a more intimate gathering or a larger celebration when deciding on the number of guests.

It is worth noting that bridal showers are typically smaller and more personal than weddings, so the guest list can be shorter and more exclusive. The bride should feel free to invite only those individuals with whom she shares a meaningful connection. Inviting between 30 and 40 people is often considered a good range, with the understanding that not everyone may be able to attend. Ultimately, the bride's comfort and preferences should be prioritised when deciding on the number of guests for her bridal shower.

Only invite people who are also invited to the wedding

When it comes to wedding showers, it's important to remember that they are usually more intimate affairs than the wedding itself. Wedding showers are meant to be celebratory gatherings that reflect a sense of closeness.

One of the most important rules of wedding shower etiquette is to ensure that all invitees are also invited to the wedding. Inviting someone to a wedding shower but not to the wedding itself is generally considered inappropriate and may offend the person. It may also give the impression that you are only interested in receiving gifts from them.

The exception to this rule is an office shower, where colleagues, regardless of whether they are invited to the wedding, may throw a celebration at the office. In the case of elopements, micro-weddings, or destination weddings, it is also acceptable to invite people to the wedding shower but not to the wedding itself. In these cases, it is important to note the intimate nature of the wedding on the shower invitations to avoid any hurt feelings.

If you are unsure about whether to invite someone to the wedding shower, it is always best to consult with the bride-to-be and discuss the final wedding guest list. From there, you can start creating a list of names to invite to the wedding shower.

Keep the guest list short

A wedding shower is an opportunity for close friends and family to celebrate the upcoming nuptials and "shower" the bride or couple with gifts and well-wishes. When planning a wedding shower, one of the first considerations is the guest list. While it may be tempting to invite everyone you know, keeping the guest list short and intimate has several advantages and can create a more memorable and enjoyable event for everyone involved.

An intimate guest list allows for a more personalized and special experience for the guests of honor. With a smaller group, there is more opportunity for meaningful conversations and interactions. The couple will have time to connect with each guest, making them feel valued and appreciated. A smaller guest list also encourages a more relaxed and comfortable atmosphere, which can help guests mingle and get to know each other, creating a warm and friendly environment.

A shorter guest list can also ease the burden on the organizers and hosts. Planning a wedding shower can be time-consuming and costly, and a longer guest list can exponentially increase the workload and expenses. From invitations and catering to venue size and favors, a larger group will require a more substantial budget and additional planning time. Keeping the guest list short allows for more flexibility and ease in planning, ensuring the process is enjoyable and stress-free.

Additionally, an intimate wedding shower can lead to a more creative and unique event. With a smaller group, it becomes feasible to consider alternative venues, such as a favorite restaurant, a picturesque outdoor location, or even a fun activity like a cooking class or wine tasting. These unique settings can create lasting memories and offer a more personalized experience. A smaller guest list also encourages creative freedom in theming, decorations, and activities, allowing the organizers to tailor the event to the couple's interests and create a truly special celebration.

Include long-distance friends and family

When it comes to long-distance friends and family, it's important to remember that a wedding shower is an intimate gathering of the couple's closest friends and family. While it's not necessary to invite everyone you know, it's a nice gesture to include those who are special to you, regardless of the distance. Here are some things to consider when deciding whether to include long-distance guests:

• Inviting long-distance guests: Even if your long-distance friends and family live far away, it's appropriate to send them an invitation. It shows that you're thinking of them and want them to be part of your special day. They will likely appreciate being included, even if they can't attend.
• Managing expectations: When inviting long-distance guests, it's essential to be mindful of their travel constraints. Communicate with the couple to choose a date that works for those travelling from afar. It's also considerate to let them know that their presence is valued but not expected, and gifts are not obligatory.
• Virtual options: To enhance the inclusion of long-distance guests, consider incorporating a virtual component. Set up a video call or live stream so that those unable to attend in person can still join in on the festivities. This way, they can feel involved without the burden of travel.
• Multiple showers: If a significant portion of your guest list lives in another region, it's perfectly acceptable to have a second, more intimate shower in that area. This allows long-distance friends and family to celebrate with you without the burden of extensive travel.
• Timing and logistics: When planning a wedding shower, timing is crucial. Sending out invitations six to eight weeks in advance gives long-distance guests ample time to make travel arrangements. It's also essential to consult with the couple to ensure that the date works for their out-of-town guests.
• Office showers: Colleagues, regardless of their invitation to the wedding, may wish to throw an office shower. This is a great way to include coworkers who are close friends and create a more inclusive environment.

Remember, the decision to include long-distance friends and family should be guided by the couple's preferences and the desire to share this intimate celebration with their loved ones, near and far.

The host decides who makes the guest list

When it comes to bridal showers, the host ultimately decides who makes the guest list. While the bride may have the final say on the number of guests, it is the host who decides who to invite. This is usually the maid of honour, the mother of the bride, or another close friend or relative.

The host will need to consult with the bride about the number of guests she feels comfortable with, and any venue or budget constraints that may impact the guest count. The bride can provide a list of "must-have" guests, which will typically include her closest friends and family members.

It is considered poor etiquette to invite someone to a bridal shower if they are not also invited to the wedding. The exception to this rule is if the person is unable to attend the wedding, in which case they may still be included in the bridal shower invitation.

The host should also be mindful of the bride's preferences regarding the intimacy of the bridal shower. Bridal showers are typically smaller and more personal than weddings, so the guest list should reflect that sense of closeness. It is not necessary to invite the plus-ones of friends, co-workers, or acquaintances.

In the case of a co-ed shower, the host may also include the groom's closest friends and relatives on the guest list.

Frequently asked questions