The Best Man's Speech: A Guide To Nailing It

Being asked to be someone's best man is a tremendous honour, but it's also a role that comes with a number of important responsibilities. One of the most significant duties of the best man is to deliver a wedding speech that captures the essence of the groom and your friendship. Here are some key elements to consider when crafting your speech:

1. Start with a catchy introduction: Begin your speech with a funny joke, a compliment, or an inspirational quote. This will help capture the audience's attention and set the tone for the rest of your speech.

2. Thank the other speakers: It is customary to acknowledge and express gratitude to the previous speakers, such as the father of the bride, the groom, and the maid of honour.

3. Share anecdotes about the groom: The focus of your speech should be on the groom. Share funny stories, highlight his positive traits, and touch on how your friendship has evolved over the years. Avoid making the speech solely about yourself.

4. Compliment the bride: It is important to say something nice about the bride and how happy the groom is to have found her. Avoid poking fun at or embarrassing her on her special day.

5. Congratulate the couple: Offer sincere well-wishes to the newlyweds and speak about their relationship. You can share how they first met, the unique connection they share, and your hopes for their future together.

6. Read messages from absent guests: If there are guests who couldn't attend the wedding, take the time to read out their congratulatory messages.

7. Propose a toast: Raise your glass and invite the guests to join you in wishing the couple a lifetime of happiness, love, and success.

8. Keep it concise: A best man speech should typically be around 3 to 7 minutes long. This allows you to share your sentiments without losing the audience's attention.

9. Practice and prepare: Don't leave your speech to chance. Write it down, practice in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend, and make sure you are comfortable with the delivery.

10. Avoid inappropriate topics: Stay away from crude jokes, mentions of ex-partners, or anything that might insult the couple or the guests. Keep your speech positive, respectful, and focused on celebrating the newlyweds.

Icebreakers and jokes

The icebreaker is an important part of the best man's speech. It's a chance to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. It also sets a friendly tone for the rest of your speech. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft an engaging and humorous icebreaker:

• Introduce yourself with a twist: Instead of a standard introduction, add a humorous twist to it. For example, "Good evening, if you're in this room and don't know me by now, then you're probably at the wrong wedding. I am, of course, [your name], and I've been best friends with [groom] for 25 years..."
• Crack a joke: Share a light-hearted joke or a one-liner to break the ice. It can be about the groom, yourself, or even the wedding day. For instance, "Hello, I'm the best man [your name]. This entire day has been beautiful so far. In fact, I'm getting emotional. The wedding cake has me in tiers."
• Be self-deprecating: Make fun of yourself or your relationship with the groom in a light-hearted way. For example, "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for those of you I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet, my name is Chris and I am officially Paul's second-best man... second-best ladies and gentlemen... nobody likes to be second-best, do they?"
• Use current news or trends: Incorporate a recent news story or trend into your icebreaker, especially if it can be linked to the wedding or the couple. For instance, "I was pleased to read that fondue sets are becoming popular again. So maybe 10 of those wedding gifts will get used after all!"
• Share a humorous observation: Make light-hearted observations about the wedding day, the venue, the guests, or even the couple's romance. For example, "Seriously, when Mark met you, Emily, everyone could see just how happy that made him. He's always been a great bloke waiting for the right girl."
• Tell a story: Share a brief, entertaining story or anecdote about your friendship with the groom. It could be something silly or heartwarming. For instance, "I first met Nick way back in 1994 when we started secondary school together. Little did we know it at the time, but it was the start of a beautiful relationship."
• Use props or visuals: While some sources advise against using props, you can use funny photographs or visuals to enhance your icebreaker. Pin these photos near the seating plan so that guests can see them, and then reference them in your speech.
• Keep it light and positive: Avoid negative topics or roasting the groom. Your icebreaker should be fun and uplifting. Focus on celebrating the couple and their love.
• "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank all of you for being here today, especially those of you who knew that I'd be saying a few words—it's very touching that you still decided to come."
• "I've been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately, last night I slept like a baby—I woke up crying every two hours."
• "I just heard there was a competitive sweepstake on how long the best man speech should last. I put my money on 45 minutes, so make yourselves comfortable!"
• "This speech won't contain anything embarrassing about the groom. Instead, I'll refer only to the kind and funny side of their character. Thank you and good night."
• "Hello everyone! For those of you who don't know me, thank you so much for coming to my wedding. [pause for laughter] Sorry about that... I'm a little nervous."
• "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, over the next few minutes we'll be talking about the man for whom Scottish Independence now means asking his English wife if he can go to the pub at the weekend."
• "Over the next few minutes, I'll be taking you on the rollercoaster ride that has been Sean's life. There are some amazing stories, like the time his dog ate the Prime Minister's guinea pig, and he had to sell my passport to repair his nose..."

Introducing yourself

The best man's speech is a chance to make your best bro look good in front of all his friends and family. It is also an opportunity to make yourself memorable to the wedding guests. So, it's important to nail the opening line and introduction. Here are some tips and examples to help you introduce yourself effectively:

• Grab the audience's attention: Use a catchy one-liner, a funny joke, a compliment, or a quote to hook the audience and leave them wanting more. For example, "I'd like to begin by congratulating the groom for his superb taste in choosing the best man."
• Introduce yourself: Even if the bride and groom know you well, not everyone in the room will. Share your name and how you know the groom. You can add a humorous twist, such as "Good evening, if you're in this room and don't know me by now, then you're probably at the wrong wedding. I am, of course, [your name], and I've been best friends with [groom] for 25 years."
• Share how you met the groom: This helps establish your connection with the groom and gives insight into your friendship. It can be a humorous tale or a sentimental story. For instance, "I first met [groom] when we were in college, working at a pizza joint. We laughed until we cried and ate hundreds of garlic knots. I can't tell you how many times we accidentally got pizza dough stuck to the ceiling during our pizza toss competitions."
• Explain your role as best man: You can add a touch of humour here by teasing the groom or sharing your initial reaction to being asked to be the best man. For example, "I was shocked/honoured/horrified when [groom] asked me to be his best man, but here I am."
• Thank the other speakers: It is good etiquette to express gratitude to the previous speakers, such as the father of the bride, the groom, and the maid of honour. This also helps to lead into your speech. For instance, "Let's give a round of applause for the amazing speech given by the maid of honour. If you enjoyed her thoughtful and sweet words, get your tissues ready for this one!"

Remember, the introduction is just the beginning of your speech. Keep it concise, engaging, and focused on the groom and the couple. Now you've introduced yourself, it's time to share some stories and anecdotes about the groom and offer well-wishes to the happy couple.

Reading messages from absent guests

It is customary for the best man to read out messages or well wishes from guests who are unable to attend the wedding. This is a thoughtful way to include absent friends and family in the celebration and make them feel remembered. Here are some tips and suggestions for this section of your speech:

• Begin by acknowledging those who couldn't be there: "I'm sure we all want to send our love to those who couldn't make it today."
• Share any actual messages, well wishes, or apologies from guests who are absent. It is good manners to include these, and it adds a thoughtful touch to your speech.
• Feel free to add a bit of humour by embellishing their excuses or reasons for not being there. For example: "Uncle Stan couldn't make it today. He decided to go for a 'wet look' to match the groom's hair, but unfortunately, the loo seat fell on his head and left him with a concussion." Just be sure to save the more outrageous jokes for well-known guests, so your audience understands you are pulling their leg.
• If you don't have any messages to share, you can still acknowledge absent guests with a simple toast: "To all those who couldn't be here today, we raise a glass and hope they are thinking of us."
• If there are guests who are unable to attend due to ill health, you might want to send them your best wishes for a speedy recovery: "We're thinking of Great Aunt Mabel, who is recovering from surgery. We wish her a swift recovery and hope she is feeling stronger soon."
• You can also use this section to thank those who have travelled far to be there: "And finally, a big thank you to those who travelled from far and wide to be here today. We appreciate your effort and are so glad you could join us."

Sharing stories and anecdotes

When sharing stories and anecdotes, it's important to keep the focus on the groom and his positive qualities. While it's fine to include yourself in the stories, the speech should not be mainly about you. Keep the stories appropriate and respectful, avoiding anything that might embarrass the groom or offend the guests.

• Choose 1-3 short stories that are funny, slightly embarrassing, or interesting.
• Include sensory details to make the story come alive for the audience. Describe the scenery, the smells, the sounds, and the tastes associated with the story.
• Add a punchline or a shocking moment at the end of the story to leave the audience laughing or surprised.
• If you were there when the groom first met the bride, share this story to give insight into their relationship.
• If you have a prop or stunt that enhances the story, use it!
• If you're feeling nervous, use photos or a slideshow to help tell the story.
• Keep the stories lighthearted and positive. Avoid mentioning exes, embarrassing moments, drugs, alcohol, or anything that could be offensive.
• If you're telling a funny story, explain the context so that everyone understands the joke.
• If you're telling a sentimental story, it's okay to get emotional. Just take a pause and a deep breath to compose yourself.

Congratulating the couple

Express Sincere Congratulations

Begin your speech by offering sincere congratulations to the newlyweds. You can say something like, "It's an honour to stand here today as [groom's name] best man. My heartfelt congratulations to the happy couple. May your journey be filled with endless love, joy, and laughter." This sets a warm and celebratory tone for the rest of your speech.

Share a Heartfelt Message

Take a moment to share a heartfelt message about the couple's relationship. You can talk about how they met, the impact they've had on each other, and what makes them a perfect match. For example, "I've known [groom] for many years, and I've never seen him happier than he is with [bride]. Their love is a beacon that guides them through life's ups and downs. They truly bring out the best in each other."

Highlight Their Positive Traits

Speak about the positive traits you admire in both the bride and the groom. For instance, "I've had the pleasure of knowing [groom] for a long time, and his kindness and generosity never cease to amaze me. And [bride], your grace, intelligence, and beauty shine brightly. Together, you form an incredible team."

Share a Sentimental Wish

Conclude this section by sharing a heartfelt wish for their future. You might say, "May your love continue to grow stronger each day. May your lives be filled with endless joy and all your dreams come true. Congratulations, and cheers to the wonderful journey ahead!"

Remember to keep your remarks sincere, positive, and focused on the couple. This section is about celebrating their love and wishing them a bright future together.

Frequently asked questions