The Best Man's Guide To Speech Structure

Being chosen as the best man for a wedding is a tremendous honour, but it's also a role that comes with great responsibility. The best man's speech is an important part of the wedding reception and is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple.

The best man's speech traditionally follows the groom's speech and may or may not follow the maid of honour's toast. It's a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. Wedding speeches are meant to be quick, lighthearted moments during the reception, so while you should craft thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it.

Here's a basic structure you can follow to write your best man speech:

1. Break the ice: Start with a light-hearted icebreaker or a well-chosen joke. This will warm up the guests and calm your nerves.

2. Introduce yourself and your friendship: Share how you met the groom, which will help establish your connection with everyone in the room, especially those who may not know you well.

3. Messages from afar: Read out messages from friends and family who couldn't attend the wedding. You can also make it more light-hearted by including some fake messages or jokes.

4. Storytime: Share amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom. This is the key section of your speech. You can also include props, slideshows, or themes to make it more engaging.

5. Words of wisdom: Offer some light-hearted yet sincere advice for the newlyweds. If you're not married, you can ask friends or family for tips.

6. Praise the partner: Take a moment to compliment the groom's partner and reflect on their positive impact on the groom.

7. Acknowledge the bridal party: Thank the bridesmaids for their role and their help in the lead-up to the wedding.

8. The final toast: Conclude your speech by raising a glass to the couple and wishing them a happy future.

Remember, the best man speech should be about 5-7 minutes long. Practice your speech beforehand, stay true to yourself and your speaking style, and focus on connecting with the audience. Good luck!

Introduction: Introduce yourself and your friendship with the groom

The first thing to do in your best man speech is to introduce yourself. You might be the best man, but not everyone at the wedding will know who you are. Tell the guests your name and how you know the groom. You could also mention how long you've been friends.

"Welcome everyone, my name is [name]. [Groom] hates it when I take all the attention away from him, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of the speech."

"Hello everyone, I'm [name] and I've been best friends with [groom] for the past 15 years. For those of you that already know me – I apologise – for those that don't, don't listen to any of the rumours!"

"Good evening, if you're in this room and don't know me by now, then you're probably at the wrong wedding. I am, of course, [name], and I've been best friends with [groom] for 25 years..."

"Hello and welcome to tonight's reception. [Groom], YOU truly are MY biggest fan. Wait, that didn't come out right... As I was saying..."

"I was, of course, deeply honoured to be chosen by [groom] as his best man, until he pointed out no one else was available for the role."

"I first met [groom] back in [place]. He was [his role], always the most [his trait] person to be around. We all imagined he'd go on to [what people imagined he'd achieve]. Fast-forward a few decades, I'm not sure where it all went wrong?

"I met [groom] [number] years ago in [place]. Little did we know it at the time but it was the start of a beautiful relationship, which, for me, EVENTUALLY proved worth pursuing years later when I was able to borrow all his notes and pass my [exams]."

"I first met [groom] when we [anecdote about where and how you met]. My first mistake was to [anecdote about a mistake you made]. My second was to [another anecdote about a mistake]. As a [object] went sailing past my head and smashed behind me, I realised that this was a troubled, sensitive character who didn't take criticism that well. Perfect friend material."

Messages from afar: Read messages from friends and family who couldn't attend

The couple may ask you to share messages from friends and family who couldn't make it to the wedding. This is a lovely gesture and will be meaningful to some people in the room. You can also add a surprise or something funny to this section, such as a joke message from Channing Tatum or the police.

"I'm sure we all want to send our love to Uncle Stan, who couldn't be here today. He has been battling the flu, but that's not what kept him at home. In fact, he was getting ready to leave and decided to go for a 'wet look' hairdo to match the groom's. Unfortunately, the loo seat fell on his head and left him with a concussion."

"I know we're all sorry that Auntie Judith can't be here. She's the life and soul of the party but, of course, she can also be sensitive to rumours. Unfortunately, she got wind of just such a rumour circulating in the family this morning... that it was a paid bar."

"I'd like to apologise on behalf of Great Uncle Hector, who was so looking forward to coming today. Unfortunately, he took a tumble on the stairs yesterday and landed right on the pipe of his vacuum cleaner. I phoned the hospital this morning and the nurses said he's out of bed and picking up nicely..."

"I'm sure we're all disappointed that Tony couldn't be here. He was found in his hotel room this morning, flat on his back, covered in chocolate fudge frosting, and coated with sprinkles... the police think he topped himself."

"It's sad that Uncle Harry couldn't make it here. He recently found out that he was switched at birth and decided on moral grounds not to attend, knowing that the name tag at his place setting would contain false information."

You could also include messages from an old teacher, the landlord at the couple's local pub, or an old boss or teacher asking where their invitation is.

Stories: Share amusing anecdotes about the groom

Sharing amusing anecdotes about the groom is a great way to honour the groom and entertain the guests. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft this section of your best man speech:

Briefly introduce yourself and explain your relationship with the groom. You can also share a humorous tale about how you first met. For example:

> "Welcome everyone, my name is 'X', and I've known 'X' since we were kids. 'X' hates it when I take all the attention away from them, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of the speech."

Childhood Stories

Take the audience on a journey through the groom's life, including his childhood and teenage years. Share funny stories, such as a silly reason they always ended up in detention or a ridiculous fashion trend they followed. For instance:

> "I first met Dan back in St. David's High School. He was team captain, head boy, and always the most popular person to be around. We all imagined he'd go on to play for England. Fast forward a few decades, I'm not sure where it all went wrong? At the ripe old age of 39, Dan's sporting tastes have matured. But his passion for athleticism remains strong. You'll often find him at the Golf Club—sitting at the bar, with a pint and a packet of crisps."

Embarrassing Moments

It's tradition for the best man to playfully roast the groom. Share some light-hearted and embarrassing stories or anecdotes about the groom. Make sure to keep it friendly and respectful. For example:

> "Dan has always considered himself a leader among men. While I'm not sure how many of us in this room would agree, today I'd like to share with you three incredible examples of leadership from Dan's life. Starting with his unfortunate debut as Section Manager in Tesco's..."

The Groom's Positive Qualities

In addition to the playful roasting, be sure to highlight the groom's redeeming qualities. Talk about his triumphs, special talents, and positive personality traits. For instance:

> "Are they someone who'll help a stranger? Are they the go-to person in a crisis? Are they unflappably optimistic? Are they a science whiz?"

The Bride's Influence

Discuss how the bride has had a positive impact on the groom. Talk about how the groom has changed for the better since meeting their partner and how their life has improved. For example:

> "Since meeting Jenny, Dan has finally stepped up into the best version of himself. He's happier, healthier, staying active, and finally dressing his age. All though he still refuses to let go of the bright red skinny jeans he fashioned at 19."

Words of wisdom: Share light-hearted advice for the newlyweds

As the best man, you are expected to offer some words of wisdom to the newlyweds. This is a great opportunity to share some light-hearted yet sincere advice. If you are married, you could offer some golden rules for a happy marriage. If you are not, you could ask happily married friends and family for their tips, or turn to media such as films and TV shows for inspiration.

• "Remember, men are like tiled floors. Lay them right the first time, and you can spend years walking all over them."
• "A happy marriage is a matter of give and take. The husband gives, and the wife takes."
• "Whenever you're wrong, be a man and admit it. Whenever you're right, just say nothing!"
• "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
• "Marriage doesn't mean you own the other person... just all their stuff."
• "Never say goodnight or goodbye angry. Always ask yourself: would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?"
• "Always love each other. Always respect each other. Always be there for each other."

Compliments: Praise the couple and reflect on their relationship

The best man's speech is a chance to honour the couple and celebrate their relationship. It's important to strike a balance between humour and sentimentality. Here are some tips and ideas for this section of the speech:

Compliment the Couple

Complimenting the couple is a great way to show your support and celebrate their union. Here are some ideas:

• Express your approval of the groom's choice of bride. For example, "I can't imagine a couple more ready and right for this blessing. And I couldn't imagine a bride more perfect for [groom's name]—thank you, [bride's name], for bringing him and all of us so much happiness."
• Compliment the bride and reflect on how she has positively influenced the groom. For instance, "The splendid day we are all enjoying has only come about because of the love between [groom's name] and [bride's name] and their decision to show their commitment to each other through marriage. I must say that [bride's name] has been a wonderful influence on [groom's name]. Since the day they met, he has been a happy soul, and I wish them both all the future happiness they deserve."
• Highlight the groom's positive qualities and how they complement the bride. For example, if the groom is known for his intelligence, you could say, "Of course, marriage for everybody is a major adjustment. For example, before today, as a smart single man, [groom's name] had the answers to everything. Now, as a married man, he has the answers to nothing."
• If the groom is entrepreneurial, you could say, "I've been a first-hand observer of [groom's name] for a long time, being a close friend of his, and I've been drawn into many of his wild schemes as an unwilling ally. His ventures were always adventures. He was in his element when he fastened onto a new idea, no matter how harebrained the idea was. Although many of his early business initiatives failed, he triumphed in the most important enterprise of all—his courtship of [bride's name]."
• If the groom is renowned for his generosity, try something like, "I think it reflects the fact that we've had some unforgettable times together—and you truly are a best friend. I don't think I know anyone more generous—generous in giving help, advice, or in the pub. That last one may have to be reined in now that you're married, but only from tomorrow."
• If you're comfortable sharing your feelings, you could talk about what a great friend the groom is, how he inspires you, and how privileged you feel to be his best man.

Reflect on Their Relationship

In addition to complimenting the couple, reflecting on their relationship can make your speech more meaningful. Here are some suggestions:

• Share a memory or anecdote about when you knew they were destined to be together.
• Discuss how the couple met and their unique connection, emphasising moments that showcase their bond.
• Talk about how the groom has changed for the better since meeting their partner. For example, "Since meeting [bride's name], [groom's name] has finally stepped up into the best version of himself. He's happier, healthier, staying active, and finally dressing his age."
• Mention any positive impact the bride has had on the groom's life, such as new interests or a change in wardrobe. For instance, "Thanks to his beautiful new wife [bride's name], [groom's name] now does something called globe-trotting, which involves going to lots of different far-flung countries and immersing himself in their culture, rather than a two-hour flight and sticking to the bar."
• If you don't know the bride well, incorporate that into your speech. For example, "I haven't had the chance to get to know you well, [bride's name], but from what I've seen, you must be quite special if [groom's name] chose to settle down. I'm excited to get to know you better and welcome you to the family."

Frequently asked questions