Preparing A Ring Bearer: Tips & Tricks

A ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, usually boys aged between three and eight. The child walks down the aisle before the bride, often at the same time as the flower girl, carrying the wedding rings on a pillow or in a box. The role is symbolic, adding a touch of innocence and charm to the ceremony, and entrusting a young child with this responsibility is said to symbolise the couple's hope for a bright and joyful future together.

The ring bearer should attend the wedding rehearsal and any pre-wedding events, and it's important that they (and their parents) are aware of the schedule and the timing of their role in the ceremony. On the day, the ring bearer will walk down the aisle, carrying the ring pillow, and present the rings to the best man or the couple when it's time to exchange rings.

When choosing a ring bearer, it's customary to select a child who is close to the couple, such as a nephew, godson, or the son of close friends. It's important to consider the child's temperament and maturity and to have a backup plan in case they become overwhelmed.

Choosing a ring bearer: Opt for a young boy, a girl, an adult, a pet, or even yourself

Choosing a Ring Bearer

Opting for a ring bearer is a great way to involve children, adults, or even pets in your wedding. While the role is functional, it's also an opportunity to add a unique and memorable touch to your special day.

Young Boy

The most common choice for a ring bearer is a young boy, typically aged between 3 and 8 years old. He could be a nephew, the child of your maid of honor or best man, or a child you and your partner feel close to. If you're considering a younger boy, it's a good idea to check with his parents first to ensure they're happy to take on the responsibility.

Girl

While it's less conventional, girls can also be ring bearers! If there are only female children close to you, don't be afraid to break tradition and ask one of them.

Adult

Another option is to choose an adult friend or family member to be your ring bearer. This could be a fun way to involve a grandparent, adult cousin, or your best friend.

Pet

Including your furry friend as a ring bearer is a unique and memorable choice. Just be sure to evaluate your pet's temperament and comfort level around crowds before making this decision.

Yourself

If you want to be truly unconventional, you could even choose to be your own ring bearer! While it may be unconventional, it's your special day, so feel free to make it your own and get creative!

Remember, the most important thing is to choose someone you feel comfortable with and who will add to the joy and significance of your wedding day.

Attire: Coordinate with the wedding party, but ensure the ring bearer is comfortable

When it comes to the ring bearer's attire, it's important to strike a balance between coordination and comfort. Here are some tips to achieve that:

Firstly, communicate with the ring bearer's parents to understand their preferences. They can decide whether they want to choose the outfit themselves or follow your guidance. It is customary for the ring bearer's parents to pay for their child's attire, so be mindful of their budget when making suggestions.

Next, consider the formality of your wedding. If it's a black-tie affair, a classic tuxedo or dress suit with matching shoes might be appropriate. For a more casual event, a button-down shirt or polo shirt can be a comfortable option. You can also get creative and choose outfits that align with a specific theme, such as a beach wedding or a rustic barn wedding.

When selecting an outfit, keep comfort in mind. Avoid itchy or tight clothing that might make the ring bearer cranky, especially if they are a baby or toddler. Opt for breathable fabrics like linen and ensure the outfit fits well. If the ring bearer is comfortable, they are more likely to enjoy their role and be excited to participate.

You can coordinate the ring bearer's outfit with the wedding party's attire by choosing a similar colour scheme and level of formality. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing suspenders and bow ties, the ring bearer can also wear a miniature version of the same. If the bridesmaids are wearing a specific colour, the ring bearer's outfit can incorporate matching accents or accessories.

Finally, don't forget to consider the season and weather conditions when choosing the ring bearer's attire. For a summer wedding, lightweight and breathable fabrics are ideal. For a winter wedding, richer colours and textures, such as a plaid shirt and suspenders, can be a cosy choice.

Rehearsal: Invite the ring bearer to the rehearsal to ease nerves and practice

Rehearsal plays a crucial role in preparing your ring bearer for the big day. By inviting them to the rehearsal, you not only ease their nerves but also provide a valuable opportunity for practice. Here are some tips to make the most of the rehearsal:

Familiarise the Ring Bearer with the Wedding Party and Their Role:

The rehearsal allows the ring bearer to meet the other members of the wedding party and become familiar with their roles. This helps build a sense of comfort and camaraderie, especially if the ring bearer is a young child. They will understand their place in the procession and feel more confident about their duties.

Practice Walking Down the Aisle:

The rehearsal is the perfect time for the ring bearer to practice walking down the aisle. They can get a feel for the pace, the distance, and the overall experience. If they are walking with a pillow or any props, this is the time to get accustomed to carrying them gracefully. Practicing their walk will boost their confidence and reduce any performance anxiety on the wedding day.

Coordinate with the Ring Bearer's Parents:

If the ring bearer is a young child, their parents play an essential supporting role. The rehearsal is an excellent opportunity to coordinate with the parents and ensure everyone is on the same page. Discuss any potential challenges, such as the child's comfort, meltdowns, or walking pace, and develop a plan to address them. The parents can also assist in planning logistics, like snack times and rest breaks, to ensure the ring bearer is energised and ready for the ceremony.

Provide Clear Communication:

Clear communication with the ring bearer and their parents is key. Use the rehearsal to explain the expectations and responsibilities of their role. Guide them on how to handle any potential challenges and answer any questions they may have. This will help everyone feel more prepared and confident about the ring bearer's duties.

Create a Memorable Experience:

Involving a ring bearer in the rehearsal makes them feel like an integral part of the wedding party. It gives them a sense of belonging and adds to the excitement of the upcoming nuptials. This is especially true for young ring bearers, who will cherish the experience and feel more connected to the wedding celebration.

Parents: Communicate with parents to handle meltdowns and plan logistics

The ring bearer's parents play an essential role in the wedding. They are responsible for preparing their child for the big day, ensuring good behaviour during the ceremony, and handling any meltdowns that may occur. Before selecting a ring bearer, it is important to communicate with their parents and ensure they are willing to take on these responsibilities.

• Attendance at pre-wedding events: The ring bearer's parents are expected to attend all pre-wedding festivities and arrive early on the wedding day. This includes the wedding rehearsal, which is important for the ring bearer to attend as well. It will help ease their nerves and make them feel like part of the wedding party.
• Outfit and accessories: Traditionally, the ring bearer's parents are responsible for purchasing the child's wedding attire and accessories. Discuss any outfit requirements and expectations with the parents and offer them a few options to choose from. If your budget allows, you may offer to pay for the ring bearer's outfit as a thoughtful gesture.
• Snack and nap times: Work with the parents to plan logistics, such as timing for snacks and naps, to ensure the ring bearer is energised and ready for the ceremony.
• Seating arrangement: During the ceremony, the ring bearer's parents should be seated along the aisle, ideally one or two rows back from the altar. This encourages the young ring bearer to walk towards them and serves as a familiar distraction among the guests.
• Handling meltdowns: Communicate with the parents about their expectations and strategies for handling potential meltdowns. They may need to walk alongside the ring bearer or be flexible if the child decides not to walk when it's their turn.
• Post-ceremony activities: After the ceremony, the ring bearer should be present for pictures with the wedding party. Discuss with the parents whether the child will be attending the reception or if other arrangements need to be made, especially if the reception is adults-only.

Remember, open communication with the ring bearer's parents is key to ensuring everyone is on the same page and prepared for the child's role in the wedding.

Rings: Decide whether to use real or fake rings and how to secure them

The ring bearer is tasked with getting the rings down the aisle so that the couple can exchange them during the ceremony. The rings are usually tied to a small pillow or placed in a box, but there are no rules when it comes to how the ring bearer carries the rings.

Whether you use real or fake rings is up to you and should be based on the age and maturity of your ring bearer. If you opt for fake rings, you can use plastic rings or ribbons tied around your favourite poems or scriptures. If you decide to use real rings, it is best to give them to the ring bearer just before the ceremony to reduce the risk of them being lost.

If you are concerned about the rings, you could also give them to the best man to carry. In this case, the ring bearer can carry fake rings or simply an empty pillow.

Frequently asked questions