Selecting The Perfect Ring Bearer

Choosing a ring bearer is an important part of wedding planning. While it is not a mandatory role, it is a functional one—the ring bearer is responsible for delivering the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. The role is typically given to young children, who are usually between the ages of three and eight. However, the role can be adapted to include adults, female ring bearers, or even pets!

When choosing a ring bearer, it is important to consider the age of the child and whether you want children at your wedding. It is also a good idea to create a list of potential ring bearers, such as children of those close to the couple or family members. The parents of the ring bearer will also play an important role, as they will be responsible for purchasing the ring bearer's attire and ensuring their child is prepared for the big day.

Choosing a human or pet ring bearer

Choosing a ring bearer is an important part of wedding planning. While it is not a mandatory role, it is a functional one and can add a special touch to your wedding. The role of the ring bearer is to deliver the wedding rings down the aisle to the best man or officiant.

Human Ring Bearers

Ring bearers are typically young boys who are close to the couple. They are usually between the ages of 2 and 10, with 3 to 8 being the most common age range. If you are considering a boy younger than 3, it is a good idea to speak with his parents first to see if they can escort him down the aisle. If you are choosing an older child, you may want to consider a junior groomsman role instead, which includes more responsibilities and involvement in pre-wedding events.

When selecting a ring bearer, it is important to consider your relationship with the child and their parents. The ring bearer's parents will typically be responsible for purchasing their child's attire and accessories, as well as attending all pre-wedding events and arriving early on the wedding day. It is also a good idea to choose a child who is comfortable around strangers and not too shy, as they will be the centre of attention during the ceremony.

If you don't know any young boys who fit this description, don't be afraid to think outside the box! You can choose a girl to be your ring bearer, or even an adult friend or family member.

Pet Ring Bearers

If you don't have any children close to you or want to include your furry friend in your wedding, you can also choose your pet to be the ring bearer. This option can add a unique and memorable touch to your special day.

When choosing a pet ring bearer, it is important to consider your pet's temperament and comfort level around crowds. You will also need to choose the right accessories to securely attach the rings to your pet's collar or harness. It is a good idea to have a rehearsal with your pet to help them understand what is expected, and to assign a pet handler to be responsible for your pet on the wedding day.

Whether you choose a human or pet ring bearer, this role is sure to add a touch of charm and personality to your wedding ceremony.

The appropriate age for a ring bearer

The traditional age range for a ring bearer is between 3 and 8 years old. At this age, children are usually mature enough to handle the responsibility of carrying the rings down the aisle, and they are still young enough to add a layer of cuteness to the wedding ceremony. Younger children, such as toddlers or infants, may be more unpredictable and shy, while older children may be less interested in participating.

However, it is not uncommon for couples to choose a ring bearer outside of this age range. Some couples may opt for a baby or a young toddler to be pulled down the aisle in a wagon or carried by their parents. On the other hand, older children, up to the age of 12, can also make excellent ring bearers as they are still likely to enjoy being a part of the wedding and posing for photos.

Ultimately, the appropriate age for a ring bearer depends on the couple's preferences and the dynamics of their wedding. If the couple is close to the child and feels they would be excited to participate, then they can make a great ring bearer, regardless of their age.

Creating a list of potential ring bearers

• Consider your own children, if you have any. Including your children in your wedding is a wonderful way to make it a family affair, and they will surely be honoured to be chosen for this special role.
• Look to your siblings' children or the children of your maid of honour/best man. Ring bearers are typically young boys who are close to the couple, so these options are ideal choices.
• Think about other young family members or children of close friends. Ring bearers are usually between the ages of three and eight, so consider any children within this age range that you feel close to and would be perfect for the job.
• Don't be afraid to break gender roles! Girls can be ring bearers, too. If you don't know anyone with a young son, consider asking a female family member or friend to take on this role.
• If you don't have any children close to you or would like to think outside the box, consider older children in your family who could walk down the aisle as ushers or junior groomsmen. Alternatively, if you have several young female relatives, you could designate some of them as flower girls and others as ring bearers.
• You can also include your pets in your special day. Many couples choose to have their beloved family pets be the ring bearers, with the rings tied to their collar or attached to a pillow strapped to their back.

Once you've created your list of potential ring bearers, remember to get permission from their parents before extending an official invitation to be in your wedding. It's also important to consider the responsibilities that come with this role, such as purchasing the ring bearer's outfit and ensuring their attendance at the rehearsal and other pre-wedding events.

The role of the ring bearer's parents

The ring bearer's parents will also need to prepare their child for the big day, ensuring good behaviour and handling any meltdowns. They should also be in charge of getting their child to the wedding early, and making sure they are included in the rehearsal and any other pre-wedding festivities.

On the day, the ring bearer's parents should be seated along the aisle, one or two rows back from the altar. This will help to encourage young ring bearers to walk in the right direction and can also serve as a distraction for nervous children. Once the ring bearer has completed their task, they can be allowed to sit with their parents, rather than standing with the rest of the wedding party.

If the couple is planning an adults-only reception, it is up to them to decide whether to invite the ring bearer. If other children are invited, then the ring bearer should also be invited and can sit with their parents or at a designated kids' table. If the reception is adults-only, the couple may wish to cover the cost of a babysitter for the ring bearer.

Asking the ring bearer

Get Permission from the Parents

It is important to get permission from the parents or guardians of the potential ring bearer before extending the invitation. This is especially crucial if the child is young, as their parents will need to take on additional responsibilities, such as purchasing the ring bearer's outfit and accessories, attending pre-wedding events, and ensuring the child's good behaviour during the ceremony. Having a frank discussion with the parents about their willingness and ability to take on these tasks is essential.

Choose the Right Age

Traditionally, ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight. This age range ensures the child has the maturity to handle the responsibilities while still adding a touch of cuteness to your special day. Younger children may be shy or nervous, while older ring bearers may be more comfortable and confident in their role. Ultimately, the most important factor is choosing someone who will enjoy being a ring bearer.

Make a List of Potential Candidates

If you have your own children, they could be an obvious choice. Other options include siblings' children, children of the maid of honour or best man, or other young family members and friends. If you're having trouble deciding between candidates, consider who has previously been in a wedding and who hasn't. This way, you can give someone new a chance to shine.

Be Creative and Break Gender Stereotypes

Don't be afraid to think outside the box! Girls can be ring bearers, too. If you don't know any young boys, consider asking a girl to take on the role. You can also have multiple ring bearers of different ages or genders, or even include adult friends, family members, or your pets!

Ask in a Special Way

Once you've received permission from the parents, get creative with your invitation! Surprise the child with a new toy, a sweet card, or their favourite candy. Make the moment memorable and fun for your chosen ring bearer.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose someone who is close to you and your partner and who will add a special touch to your wedding day. Good luck with your search for the perfect ring bearer!

Frequently asked questions