A Wedding Without Kids: Etiquette For Parents-Only Invites

Deciding who to invite to your wedding can be a challenging aspect of the wedding planning process. It is your wedding, and you can invite whoever you want. You should never feel obligated to invite anyone, including family members, especially if there is a good reason to leave them off the list. If you decide not to invite family to the wedding, be compassionate and considerate of their feelings.

Explain your reasons for not inviting them

Deciding who to invite to your wedding can be one of the toughest tasks on your to-do list. It is okay to have a limited guest list, but you'll need to know how to respond. While it might feel uncomfortable, there are ways to go about the situation politely. Here are some reasons for not inviting certain family members to your wedding:

• They don't support your relationship.
• You had a falling out.
• They're controlling.

When explaining your reasons for not inviting certain family members, you can say:

• "We've chosen to celebrate with just close family and friends, but we'd love to celebrate with extended family once we're back from our honeymoon."
• "We've decided to keep our wedding celebration really small, however, we'd love to invite you to our anni-ception next year."
• "Thank you for asking about our wedding! We're keeping the numbers really small as we'd like to have an intimate wedding, but I do appreciate you asking about it."
• "We're trying to save for a house as well as pay for our wedding, so we're keeping it small."
• "Unfortunately, our venue has a really limited capacity, so we've had to scale back our guest list."
• "We're so sorry, but we just don't have the space in our venue to accommodate plus ones/children."
• "I'm not comfortable having you attend our wedding. I'm sorry, but my decision has been made."
• "I understand this will probably be upsetting, but I've made the difficult decision not to invite you to our wedding. I'm just not comfortable with you being there. I'm sorry."
• "I'm so sorry, but due to budget limitations/venue capacity, I'm afraid we can't justify plus ones."

Be mindful and gentle with their feelings

It is completely understandable that you do not want to invite certain family members to your wedding. However, it is important to be mindful and gentle with their feelings. Here are some tips on how to do this:

• Do surround yourself with loved ones: It is important to feel fulfilled on your wedding day, so surround yourself with people who you consider family. Family can mean close friends that you are closer to than blood relatives.
• Do be mindful of your family members' feelings: Be aware that your family members may actually want to share in your big day and not just the free food and drinks. If they ask why they weren't invited, try not to be offended and understand that they may simply feel left out.
• Do be compassionate and considerate: Remember that not inviting family members can be an awkward situation. If you are unsure how to handle it, it is important to be compassionate and considerate of their feelings, whatever they may be.
• Do think of other ways to include non-invited family members: If you are having a small, intimate wedding and there are several family members that you are unable to invite, there are still ways to include them. You could have a second reception for them, such as a backyard cookout, a cocktail party, or a big family dinner. Alternatively, you can invite them virtually by setting up a webcam or streaming the wedding online.
• Do thank uninvited family members for gifts: If an uninvited family member sends a gift, be sure to thank them. If the non-invite issue comes up, it is up to you whether or not you want to have that conversation. Remember, it is your wedding day and the guest list is up to you. However, if the person is sensitive about the situation, you can explain that you had tough decisions to make, but you still love them.

Invite them virtually

If you want to invite parents to your wedding virtually, you can set up a webcam or ask your videographer about streaming the wedding online. This way, parents who weren't invited to the in-person ceremony can still take part. You can also thank uninvited family members for gifts and explain that you had tough decisions to make, but you still love them.

Be honest and direct

Being honest and direct is a great approach to take when it comes to wedding invitations, especially when it comes to inviting only the parents of a family. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you navigate this situation effectively:

Be Clear About Your Intentions

Explain your decision to invite only the parents and not their children or extended family. Be transparent about your reasons, whether it's due to limited space, budget constraints, or a desire for an intimate gathering. This will help avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Have Open Conversations

Initiate conversations with the parents you are inviting and be honest about your plans. Let them know that you value their presence at your wedding but want to respect their family dynamics. Ask for their input and try to find a solution that works for everyone.

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

If you've decided to invite only the parents, be firm in your decision. It's your wedding, and you have the right to choose your guest list. Communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully, and don't let others pressure you into changing your mind.

Offer Alternative Ways to Celebrate

If excluding certain family members creates tension, consider offering alternative ways for them to celebrate. For example, you could suggest a separate gathering or event where extended family can join, such as a post-wedding brunch or a casual get-together. This can help ease any hard feelings and show that you still value their presence in your life.

Be Mindful of Family Dynamics

Consider the family dynamics and relationships at play. If there are strained relationships or ongoing conflicts within the family, it may be best to respect those boundaries and limit your invitations accordingly. This can help prevent unnecessary drama or tension on your special day.

Focus on Your Happiness

Ultimately, remember that your wedding day is about you and your partner. Make decisions that align with your vision and values. If inviting only the parents brings you joy and peace of mind, then confidently move forward with your plans. Your happiness and comfort are essential, and those who truly care about you will understand and respect your choices.

Don't give in to invite fishing

When it comes to wedding planning, it's inevitable that you'll have to make some tough decisions about who to invite. If you're facing pressure from people who are fishing for an invite, here are some tips to help you stand your ground and avoid giving in:

• Be firm and direct: If someone starts pushing for an invite, simply reiterate your decision and decline to discuss it further. Don't answer any more questions about it. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, but we've already finalized our guest list and can't accommodate any more people."
• Don't give in to guilt: Remember, it's your wedding and your budget. Don't let yourself be pressured into inviting someone just because you feel guilty. Stand by your decision and don't let others manipulate you.
• Lean on venue constraints: If you don't want to directly tell people they aren't invited, you can use venue constraints as an excuse. Explain that your venue has limited space and you had to make some tough choices.
• Be mindful of feelings: While it's important to stand your ground, also be aware that uninvited guests may genuinely feel left out. If they ask why they weren't invited, try to be gentle and compassionate in your response. You can say something like, "I wish we could have included everyone, but we had to make some difficult choices due to space and budget constraints."
• Focus on your invited guests: Instead of dwelling on those who aren't invited, shift your focus to the people who are coming. Surround yourself with loved ones and spend time thinking about how awesome it is to have them as part of your special day.
• Prepare for negative reactions: Understand that some people may react negatively to not being invited. Be prepared for possible repercussions and set clear boundaries to protect your peace. Remember, it's your wedding and you have the right to choose who attends.

Frequently asked questions