Rsvp Etiquette: Wedding Invitations And Response Cards

When it comes to wedding planning, there are many details to consider, and one of the most important is the invitation suite. The invitation is the first glimpse guests will have of the style and tone of your wedding, and it also serves a crucial logistical purpose. One of the key questions that couples face is whether to include RSVP cards with their invitations or direct guests to respond online.

There are several factors to consider when making this decision. Firstly, including a separate RSVP card ensures that guests of all ages know what to do, as this has been the traditional method for a long time. It also adds a fun element of anticipation for the couple as they receive responses by mail. However, in today's digital world, many couples opt for a more modern approach, providing a wedding website or email address for guests to respond online. This can be a more cost-effective option and is especially useful for couples with many guests living abroad.

Online vs. paper RSVPs

There are several factors to consider when deciding between online and paper RSVPs. Here are some advantages and disadvantages of each option:

Online RSVPs

Online RSVPs offer a modern and convenient approach to managing wedding responses. They can be a cost-effective option, as they eliminate the need for extra cards, envelopes, and postage. Online RSVPs also allow for easier tracking and sorting of responses, meal selections, and lodging preferences. Additionally, they can direct guests to the wedding website, where they can access more detailed information about the event.

However, one concern with online RSVPs is the potential for lower response rates, especially from older guests who may not be tech-savvy. Some guests may find the process confusing, leading to incomplete or missing information. To mitigate this, it is essential to provide clear instructions and consider including a phone number for guests who need assistance.

Paper RSVPs

Paper RSVPs uphold the traditional and formal aspect of wedding invitations. They are often considered more nostalgic and personal, offering guests a tangible connection to the event. With paper RSVPs, guests of all ages are familiar with the process, reducing confusion. Additionally, there is the excitement of receiving responses by mail and the possibility of guests including cute notes along with their responses.

On the other hand, paper RSVPs can be less environmentally friendly and may result in higher costs due to printing and postage expenses. There is also a risk of responses getting lost or damaged in the mail, and it can be more challenging to manage and organize the responses manually.

Both options have their advantages and disadvantages. Online RSVPs offer convenience, cost savings, and efficient response management, while paper RSVPs uphold tradition and may be more accessible to guests of all ages. Ultimately, the decision depends on the couple's preferences, guest demographics, and the level of formality desired for the wedding.

When to send out RSVPs

Timing is Everything

It is recommended that wedding invitations be mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding. This lead time gives guests ample opportunity to clear their schedules and finalise travel plans if they need to. In conjunction with this, the ideal "RSVP by" date should be set for about three to four weeks before the wedding. This timing ensures you have the guest information you need for your caterer and other vendors, and it allows you enough time to create a seating chart.

Be Clear and Accommodating

It's important to be explicit about the RSVP date and to make it legible on the card. If you're offering a digital RSVP option via your wedding website, consider including a countdown ticker. Also, be sure to provide multiple RSVP options to cater to your guests' preferences and abilities. While mail-in cards are traditional, not everyone uses postal mail regularly anymore, so including a digital option can be helpful. If you do go the digital route, be mindful that some older guests may find it confusing, so be prepared to offer assistance.

Be Proactive

To ensure timely responses, make it as easy as possible for your guests to respond. Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with the invitation. You can also encourage responses by including an engaging call to action on the response card, such as "RSVP with a song that will keep you on the dance floor" or "RSVP with your favourite memory of the bride and groom."

Special Considerations for Destination Weddings

If you're planning a destination wedding, keep in mind that guests will need extra time to arrange flights and accommodations. In this case, it's recommended that RSVPs be due about two months before the wedding, and invitations should be sent out approximately four months in advance. This gives guests ample time to make travel plans and ensures you have enough time to plan pre- and post-wedding events.

Don't Forget the "Save the Dates"

While "Save the Dates" don't typically include an RSVP, they are an important part of the overall communication plan. These are usually sent out six to eight months before the wedding, or even up to a year in advance if you've already finalised the details. This early notice ensures your guests can reserve the date and makes them more likely to be able to attend.

In conclusion, sending out RSVPs at the right time is a critical aspect of wedding planning. By following these guidelines and staying organised, you'll be well on your way to a smooth and well-coordinated celebration.

How to include RSVP instructions

There are a few ways to include RSVP instructions with your wedding invitations. Here are some options:

Separate Card in the Envelope

One option is to include a separate card with the RSVP instructions inside the envelope with the invitation. This card can include the wedding website, email address, or phone number that guests can use to RSVP, along with the deadline for responding. This helps to keep the invitation itself uncluttered while still providing all the necessary information.

On the Back of the Invitation

If you have a lot of details to include, such as pre- and post-wedding events, hotel information, and a link to your wedding website, you can use the back of the invitation or include it on a separate details card. This way, guests have all the information they need in one place. However, be careful not to overcrowd the invitation with too much information, as you want to maintain the design aesthetic.

Digital RSVPs

Many couples are opting for digital RSVPs through their wedding website. In this case, you can include the website URL on a separate card or even a QR code that guests can scan to access the site easily. This method is more environmentally friendly and can be more cost-effective, as you don't need to include a separate envelope and postage for the RSVP response. However, keep in mind that some older guests may prefer a more traditional paper RSVP and may need assistance with the digital option.

Pre-Addressed and Pre-Stamped Envelope

To make it easy for your guests to respond, you can include a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope with the invitation. This eliminates the need for guests to find their own envelope and postage, making it more convenient for them to send their responses promptly.

Wording and Timing

When including RSVP instructions, be clear and concise. Instead of using "RSVP," which can be confusing for some guests, use wording such as, "The favor of your reply is requested by [date]." The deadline for responses should generally be two to four weeks before the wedding to allow enough time for finalizing details such as the seating chart and providing a final headcount to vendors.

Etiquette for RSVPs

RSVP stands for "Répondez s'il vous plaît", which means "please respond" in French. It is a response card or a reply card that guests fill out and mail back to the couple to let them know if they will be attending the wedding. The RSVP card may include an area to RSVP for the wedding, or it could also include an RSVP for other events and/or meal choices.

Traditionally, RSVP cards are mailed back to the couple, but in today's digital world, many couples request guests to respond online through their wedding website or by email. Some couples also provide a phone number for guests who are not comfortable with technology.

When it comes to including RSVP information on wedding invitations, there are a few options. Some couples include a separate card inside the envelope with the invitation, providing the wedding website, and RSVP details. Others may include the RSVP information directly on the wedding invitation, such as "Please RSVP by [date] on ourwebsite.com". It is generally considered acceptable etiquette to include RSVP information on the wedding invitation or a separate card within the same envelope.

It is important to give guests enough time to respond to the invitation. Ideally, the "RSVP by" date should be set two to four weeks before the wedding. This allows the couple enough time to finalise the guest list and provide a final headcount to the caterer and other vendors.

To ensure timely responses, it is recommended to include a pre-addressed and pre-stamped return envelope within the invitation suite. It is also essential to clearly indicate the RSVP date, preferably in a legible font, on the card itself.

While online RSVPs are convenient and cost-effective, some guests, especially the elderly, may find them confusing. Therefore, it is advisable to consider the demographics of your guest list and provide alternative options if needed.

Lastly, when it comes to wording, it is best to use clear and explicit language such as "The favour of your reply is requested by [date]" instead of simply "RSVP", as some guests may not understand that a response is required.

RSVP deadlines

The RSVP deadline for a wedding should ideally be set at least four weeks before the wedding, and absolutely no later than two weeks before the wedding day. The "sweet spot" for your RSVP due date is around three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to organise your final guest list and figure out who (if anyone) hasn't responded yet.

If you send your wedding invitations between six and ten weeks before the wedding, your guests will have enough time to make travel arrangements if necessary. Leaving too much time between sending the invites and the RSVP date runs the risk of your guests putting it off and forgetting.

It's fine to RSVP before the deadline listed on the invitation—in fact, the sooner a guest accepts or declines, the better. This will help the couple get an idea of the final guest count as soon as possible. If you have a physical RSVP card, it's a good idea to post it about a week before it's due.

If your wedding is a destination wedding, send the invites a little further in advance—closer to 10 or 12 weeks before the wedding—to give people more time to make travel arrangements. The RSVP deadline should be set for two months before the wedding, and the invitations sent out approximately four months before the wedding. This will give guests ample time to make travel plans if they didn't when they first received the save-the-date.

Frequently asked questions