Selecting Your Bridesmaids: The Perfect Timing For Brides

Picking your bridesmaids is one of the most important and fun parts of planning your wedding. It's your turn to propose to your bridesmaids-to-be, but when is the right time to pop the question? While it's tempting to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids as soon as you're engaged, it's best not to rush this decision. Wedding plans can change, and you might realise that the 12 bridesmaids you initially wanted is too many. It's also a good idea to wait and see how many groomsmen your fiancé wants so that you can decide on a joint number together. If your wedding is two years away, you might want to wait a little longer before asking your bridesmaids—your relationships with certain people might change over time. The best time to ask your friends and family members to be your bridesmaids is between one year and eight months before your wedding. This will give them enough time to plan the bachelorette party and buy their dresses.

Timing: Ask bridesmaids between a year and eight months before the wedding

Timing is everything when it comes to asking your bridesmaids. While it's tempting to get carried away in the excitement of your engagement and start planning your bridal party straight away, it's best not to rush this decision. Plans can change, and you might find that the number of bridesmaids you want changes as you start to plan your wedding and consider the size of the event.

The key is to give yourself enough time to make this important decision while also leaving your chosen bridesmaids with sufficient time to plan the bachelorette party and purchase their dresses. Asking your bridesmaids to be a part of your wedding anywhere between a year to eight months before the big day strikes the perfect balance. This timeline ensures you've had time to carefully consider who you want in your bridal party and gives your bridesmaids-to-be ample time to prepare for their role and any associated costs.

If your wedding is two years away, you may want to wait even longer before popping the question to your bridesmaids. A lot can change in two years, and you may find that your relationships with certain people evolve during this time. It's also a good idea to wait until you have more details about your wedding day confirmed, such as the date and the size of the bridal party, so your bridesmaids can make an informed decision about their ability to commit.

Once you've given it some thought and decided on your timeline, you can start brainstorming fun and creative ways to ask your best mates to be by your side on one of the most important days of your life.

Size: Consider the size of your wedding and bridal party

When it comes to choosing your bridesmaids, size matters. The number of bridesmaids you have will depend on the size of your wedding and bridal party. Here are some things to consider when making your selection:

Firstly, it's important to remember that you don't have to stick to a specific number. While tradition may dictate that a smaller wedding has fewer bridesmaids and a larger wedding has more, ultimately, it's your decision. Choose the people who are most important to you and who you want by your side on your big day.

That being said, it's worth taking into account the size of your wedding venue and the number of guests you plan to invite. For example, a small, intimate wedding with 50 guests may feel crowded if you have 10 bridesmaids, while a large wedding with 200 guests can comfortably accommodate a larger bridal party.

Another factor to consider is the size of your budget. Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, from the cost of dresses to hair and makeup, and even the bachelorette party. If you have a limited budget, you may need to keep your bridal party small. On the other hand, if you're able to cover some of these expenses for your bridesmaids, you may be able to include more people.

It's also important to think about the size of your fiancé's bridal party. While it's not necessary to have an even number on both sides, you may want to discuss this with your fiancé and decide if you want to match or complement each other's choices.

Finally, consider the size of your bridesmaids' commitments. Being a bridesmaid is a time-consuming and often costly role, so make sure you choose people who are able and willing to take on the responsibilities. If you have a large bridal party, it may be helpful to delegate specific tasks or duties to ensure everything is managed effectively.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose the people who are closest to you and who will support you throughout the wedding planning process and on your special day.

Budget: Discuss budget with your fiancé and how many bridesmaids you can afford

When it comes to picking your bridesmaids, it's important to consider not just the special people you want to include, but also the financial implications for you and your chosen bridal party.

Budgeting for Bridesmaids

Discussing budget constraints and expectations with your fiancé is an important first step in deciding how many bridesmaids you can afford to have in your bridal party. The average cost of being a bridesmaid is around $1600, so it's a good idea to be transparent about what you can afford and what you're willing to pay for.

Bridesmaids typically cover their own expenses, including:

• Bridesmaid dress and any necessary alterations
• Accessories, such as jewellery, shoes, and a clutch
• Hair and makeup for the wedding day
• Travel and accommodation for the wedding and any pre-wedding events, like the bachelorette party
• Gifts for the bridal shower and wedding
• Decorations and food for any events they host

Ways to Save

There are several ways to save money and reduce costs for your bridesmaids:

• Ask your bridesmaids to wear dresses they already own or find affordable options.
• Shop sales or borrow items from friends and family.
• Host events, like the bridal shower, at someone's home and cater it yourselves.
• Stay local to reduce travel costs.
• Be mindful of hidden fees and last-minute expenses by creating a comprehensive budget.

Timing

It's recommended that you ask your bridesmaids to be part of your bridal party anywhere between a year to eight months before your wedding. This gives them enough time to plan and budget for their expenses.

Communication

Open and honest communication is key. Be clear about the financial and time commitment expected of your bridesmaids and give them the opportunity to express any concerns or limitations. It's better to be transparent from the start to prevent any misunderstandings or resentment.

Family: Include siblings and in-laws

Including your siblings and in-laws in your bridal party is a great way to honour your family and strengthen your bond with your new in-laws. However, it can be tricky to navigate, especially if you have a large family or if you're not particularly close with your in-laws. Here are some tips to help you decide whether and how to include them:

Timing is Everything

While it's exciting to start planning your bridal party as soon as you get engaged, it's best to wait at least a month or two after your engagement to give yourself time to think about your choices carefully. The ideal time to ask your bridesmaids is anywhere between a year to eight months before your wedding. This gives your bridal party enough time to plan and make the necessary commitments, such as attending your bachelorette party and getting their dresses.

Consider Family Dynamics

The dynamics of your family and your relationship with your in-laws are crucial factors to consider. If your in-laws expect their siblings to be included in the wedding party, it may be wise to include them to maintain a positive relationship. On the other hand, if you're not close or if your wedding party is already large, you can offer them other roles, such as doing a reading during the ceremony or standing on your fiancé's side.

Be Mindful of Communication

When deciding whether to include your siblings and in-laws, remember that communication is key. If you choose not to include someone, be mindful of how you communicate this decision to avoid any hurt feelings or drama. Explain your reasons gently and clearly, emphasising that you want to keep the wedding party small or that you're including your nearest and dearest friends whom you've known for a long time.

Offer Alternative Roles

If you decide not to include your siblings or in-laws as bridesmaids, you can still involve them in other ways. Consider asking them to be part of your wedding house party, an additional group of family and friends who are honoured guests but have fewer responsibilities. You can also assign specific tasks or roles to your in-laws, such as creating out-of-town guest welcome bags, assembling favours, or making the seating chart. This way, they will still feel included and involved in the wedding preparations.

Be Flexible with Traditions

Remember that traditions can be adapted to fit your unique family situation. These days, it's not uncommon for people of any gender to stand by your side during your wedding. Your fiancé's siblings can wear dresses, outfits of their choice, tuxedo-inspired looks, or even tuxedos, depending on their comfort and sense of humour.

In conclusion, when it comes to including siblings and in-laws in your bridal party, follow your heart and consider your relationships with them. Give yourself time to make decisions, communicate openly and honestly, and find creative ways to involve those who are not in the bridal party. Ultimately, it's your special day, and you can choose to celebrate it in a way that feels most natural and meaningful to you.

Friends: Choose best friends and those you can depend on

Deciding on your bridesmaids is one of the most important and fun parts of planning your wedding. While there's no one-size-fits-all approach, it's essential to choose your bridal party carefully and intentionally. Here are some tips to help you choose your bridesmaids, focusing on picking your best friends and those you can depend on:

Take Your Time

It's essential not to rush into choosing your bridesmaids. While you may be excited to start planning and asking your friends, it's best to wait at least 60 days after your engagement. This gives you time to consider the size of your bridal party, the dynamics of your friend group, and the roles you want your bridesmaids to play in your wedding. It also allows you to plan the timing of your ask, which is ideally anywhere between a year to eight months before the wedding. This gives your bridesmaids enough time to plan and make commitments, such as attending the bachelorette party and getting their dresses.

Make a List of Meaningful People

Start by listing all the meaningful friends and family members you're considering for your bridal party. This can include close friends, siblings, siblings-in-law, and even male or non-binary friends as bridesmen or bridespersons. Consider the dynamics within your friend group and how well your potential bridesmaids get along with each other. Think about who will bring good vibes, emotional support, and excitement to your wedding and planning process.

Evaluate Your Relationships

Look at your relationship with each individual on your list. Consider their dependability, the longevity of your friendship, and how supportive they are. Are they going through a busy or challenging season of life that might impact their ability to be actively involved? Have an honest conversation with them about your expectations and their availability. Remember, being a bridesmaid is a commitment, and you want to choose people who can be there for you throughout the wedding planning process.

Don't Feel Pressured

Remember, this is your wedding, and you get to decide who stands by your side. You don't have to include someone just because you were in their wedding or because they are a distant relative. While it's nice to reciprocate, ultimately, you should choose people you are close to and can depend on. If you feel pressured to include certain people, kindly explain your limited space and suggest other ways they can be involved, such as reading during the ceremony or serving as an usher.

Be Mindful of Your Budget

Your budget will impact the number of bridesmaids you can have and what you can provide for them. Consider whether you'll be covering expenses such as dresses, hair and makeup, proposal gifts, bouquets, or the bachelorette trip. If not, be transparent about financial expectations to give your bridesmaids the option to opt-out if needed.

Choose Your Honour Attendant(s)

Selecting your maid of honour first can make it easier to fill in the rest of your bridal party. Your maid of honour will be your right-hand person during the planning process, so choose someone you can depend on and who will make your life easier. If you're torn between two people, consider having co-maids of honour and assigning duties that play to their strengths and interests.

Remember, the most important factor in choosing your bridesmaids is picking people you have a strong connection with and who you know will be there for you, not just on your wedding day but also in the years to come.

Frequently asked questions