Bridesmaids: Can Grooms Have Their Bros?

The idea of a male bridesmaid is becoming more and more common, with many brides choosing to have a bridesman or man of honour in their bridal party. This is a great way to include close male friends or family members in your wedding, and many people believe that, when it comes to your wedding, you should be surrounded by your loved ones, regardless of their gender.

There are a few things to consider when including a male bridesmaid in your wedding. Firstly, what will they wear? Typically, their outfit will complement the bridesmaids' dresses. They might wear the same suit as the groomsmen, but with a unique tie, vest, or boutonniere. Secondly, what will their role be? While there is no rulebook, typically a bridesman is expected to assist with planning, attend pre-wedding events and parties, and offer emotional support to the bride.

So, if you're thinking of including a male friend or family member in your bridal party, go for it! It's your wedding, and you should be surrounded by the people you love.

What is a male bridesmaid called?

A male bridesmaid is called a "bridesman". The bride can choose a male bridesmaid or "bridesman" to be a member of the bridal party, and they are often a relative or close friend. The male equivalent of a "maid of honor" is a "man of honor".

The role of a "bridesman" or "man of honor" is similar to that of a bridesmaid or maid of honor. They are expected to assist the bride in the planning process, attend pre-wedding events and parties, and stand beside the bride on the wedding day. They can also be a helpful messenger between the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and an extra pair of hands for any heavy lifting or last-minute errands on the day.

When it comes to attire, a "bridesman" can either wear a suit that complements the bridesmaids' dresses or matches the groomsmen. This could be as simple as matching ties, bow ties, pocket squares, or boutonnieres. If the bride prefers the "bridesman" to stand out, he could wear a different-colored suit.

Including male attendants in the bridal party is a break from tradition, and some more traditional guests may be surprised or uncertain about this decision. However, many modern couples are choosing to have mixed-gender wedding parties, with their closest friends and family members by their side, regardless of gender.

What does a male bridesmaid wear?

There are a few different ways to dress a male bridesmaid, and it is becoming more and more common to include male friends and family members in the bridal party.

Firstly, you could have him wear the same suit as the groomsmen, but with an accessory that matches the bridesmaids' dresses. This could be a tie, bow tie, pocket square, or boutonnière. Alternatively, you could have him wear a suit that blends in with the bridal party's colour scheme.

If you want him to match the bridesmaids more closely, you could have him wear a shirt in the same colour as their dresses. You could also give him a flower crown or a bouquet to hold.

If you want to differentiate him from the groomsmen, you could have him wear a different-coloured suit. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing black suits, you could dress him in grey.

It's also important to consider the pre-wedding activities and the day of the wedding. If your male bridesmaid doesn't know the other bridesmaids, it might be a good idea to set up a casual lunch or happy hour so everyone can get to know each other.

What are the male bridesmaid's responsibilities?

While there is no rulebook for the responsibilities of a male bridesmaid, also known as a "bridesman", there are several duties that are expected of them. Here is a list of responsibilities for a male bridesmaid:

Before the Wedding

• Emotional support: As with all bridesmaids, a male bridesmaid should provide emotional support to the bride throughout the entire planning process. This may include dealing with family drama, bridal party conflict, or day-of jitters.
• Planning and paying for pre-wedding events: The male bridesmaid should support the maid of honor in planning and paying for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. This may include chipping in financially, helping to decorate the venue, or arriving early to greet guests.
• Attending pre-wedding events: The male bridesmaid is expected to attend all pre-wedding events, including the rehearsal dinner, bridal shower, and bachelorette party.
• Help with wedding planning tasks: Although not a wedding coordinator, the male bridesmaid may be asked to help with smaller wedding planning tasks, such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetizing escort cards, or making trips with the bride to pick out rentals or attend hair and makeup trials.
• Book travel and accommodations: The male bridesmaid should take care of their own transportation and accommodations for the wedding, preferably early on, to ensure convenience with the schedule and location of events.
• Support the bride emotionally: As a close friend or family member, the male bridesmaid should check in with the bride throughout the planning process, ask what she needs, and provide thoughtful and sensitive support.

On the Wedding Day

• Get ready with the bride: The male bridesmaid should plan to show up at the designated getting-ready location on time and assist the bride with whatever she needs. This may include answering incoming texts or calls, ensuring she eats and stays hydrated, keeping hair and makeup appointments on track, or helping her into her dress.
• Provide getting-ready snacks: If no other arrangements have been made, the male bridesmaid can take the initiative to provide snacks and drinks for the bride, her mother, and the beauty stylists.
• Be the "bride tribe": The male bridesmaid should act as the bride's support crew and a point of contact for guests and vendors. This may include directing guests around the venue, such as to parking areas, bathrooms, or the bar, or facilitating their participation in activities like signing the guest book.
• Participate in the ceremony: The male bridesmaid should be on time and in place at the ceremony venue, ready to process down the aisle. During the ceremony, they may be assigned specific roles, such as holding the bride's bouquet or assisting with her veil.
• Be photo-ready: The male bridesmaid should stick around for group portraits and cooperate with the wedding photographer to make the process as quick as possible.
• Be model guests: The male bridesmaid should mingle with other guests, enjoy the food and drinks, participate in guest activities, listen to speeches, and dance during the reception.
• Maintain a stress-free send-off: Finally, the male bridesmaid should help assemble any items that need to be transported out of the reception venue, such as decorations, the bride's bouquet, or wedding cards and gifts. They can also ensure guests make it safely out of the venue and hand out pre-addressed tip envelopes to vendors.

After the Wedding

• Attend the farewell party: If there is a post-wedding brunch or farewell party, the male bridesmaid is expected to attend and be on time.
• Organize miscellaneous items: The male bridesmaid can help take down decorations, collect wedding gifts and cards, or return any miscellaneous items to the newlyweds or other bridal party members.
• Settle outstanding payments: The male bridesmaid should not delay in settling any remaining expenses that need to be split among the bridal party.

Remember, the most important aspect of being a male bridesmaid is to be a good friend to the bride and provide support throughout her wedding journey.

How do I ask a male friend to be my bridesman?

Asking a male friend to be your bridesman can be a fun way to include your closest friends in your wedding, regardless of their gender. Here are some tips on how to ask a male friend to be your bridesman:

• Consider the dynamics of your bridal party: Think about the size of your bridal party and whether you want a smaller or larger group. If you're having a more intimate wedding, you may want to keep the bridal party small, which could influence your decision on asking your male friend.
• Communicate your vision: Before asking your male friend, ensure that you have a clear vision for your wedding and the role you expect your bridal party to play. This includes the pre-wedding events, the wedding day itself, and any post-wedding activities. Be prepared to communicate these details and expectations to your friend when you ask them to be your bridesman.
• Choose a thoughtful gesture: When asking your male friend to be your bridesman, consider making it a special moment. You can propose to your bridesman in a creative and personalised way, such as with a curated gift box, a sentimental gift, or even a fun outing or activity where you pop the question.
• Be mindful of timing: It's recommended to ask your bridal party members anywhere between a year to eight months before the wedding. This gives your bridesman enough time to plan and prepare, especially if they need to make travel arrangements or take time off work.
• Discuss responsibilities: When asking your male friend to be your bridesman, be clear about the responsibilities and duties involved. This includes pre-wedding activities such as planning and attending the bachelorette party or bridal shower, as well as their role on the wedding day, such as getting ready with you, running errands, and providing emotional support.
• Address potential concerns: Be prepared to address any concerns or apprehensions your male friend may have about assuming the role of a bridesman. This could include discussing attire options, introducing them to the other members of the bridal party, or simply having an open conversation about their expectations and comfort level with the role.

What are the benefits of having a male bridesmaid?

Having a male bridesmaid, or "bridesman", is becoming more common as wedding parties move away from traditional gender divisions. If you're thinking about including a male friend or family member in your bridal party, here are some benefits of having a male bridesmaid:

• You can choose your bridal party based on who has been a loyal friend, rather than their gender. If your best friend is a guy, you can choose to have him by your side on your wedding day.
• A male bridesmaid can provide a different perspective and offer insights on everything from gift ideas for the groomsmen to the male attendants' attire and the best bars for the bachelorette party.
• He can be a helpful messenger between the bridesmaids and groomsmen while everyone is getting ready.
• A male bridesmaid can provide necessary support and be a bodyguard at the bachelorette party.
• He can help with planning and offer emotional support before, during, and after the wedding.
• A male bridesmaid can help with practical tasks, such as heavy lifting during wedding setup and breakdown.
• You can make all your wedding events non-gendered, such as having a couple's wedding shower or a joint bachelor/bachelorette party.
• A male bridesmaid can add a personal touch to your wedding and showcase who you are as an individual.

Frequently asked questions