Pre-Wedding Activities For Bridesmaids To Bond And Unwind

Being a bridesmaid is an honour and a responsibility. It's about supporting the bride and showing up for your friend, cousin, or sister. While each bride is different and may have distinct expectations, there are some traditional duties that bridesmaids are expected to perform in the months and weeks leading up to the wedding. From planning the hen party to offering emotional support, here's a look at what bridesmaids can do to make the bride's journey to the altar a little smoother.

Plan the hen party

Planning a hen party can be a daunting task, but it's also a great opportunity to bond with the bride and create lasting memories. Here are some tips to help you plan an unforgettable hen party:

Step 1: Check in with the Bride

The first step is to have a conversation with the bride and get her input on a few key details. Ask her if she wants the hen party to be a surprise or if she wants to be involved in the planning process. Discuss her preferences for the location, such as a night out on the town, a weekend city break, or a more intimate gathering. It's also important to agree on a budget that works for everyone and decide on a date that gives the bride enough time to recover before the wedding.

Step 2: Create a Guest List

Ask the bride to provide a list of people she wants to attend the hen party, including any must-have guests like close family members or friends. This will ensure that no one is left out and that the guest list aligns with the bride's vision for the event.

Step 3: Choose a Location and Theme

Consider the preferences of the bride and the guests when selecting a location. If the hen party is taking place locally, you can opt for a night out, a spa day, or even a glamping experience. For a destination hen party, choose a location that is easily accessible for most guests and fits within the agreed-upon budget. You can also decide on a theme, such as a vintage or festival theme, to make the event more memorable.

Step 4: Set up a Communication Group

Create a WhatsApp group or Facebook event to facilitate communication and planning among the bridesmaids and guests. This will make it easier to share ideas, gather feedback, and keep everyone informed about the latest updates and changes.

Step 5: Finalize the Budget

Budgeting is crucial for a successful hen party. Consider the costs of accommodation, transportation, food, drinks, and any planned activities. It's important to be transparent about the budget with the guests and give them a breakdown of the expected costs. This will help avoid any financial surprises and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Step 6: Plan Activities and Games

Think of activities that align with the bride's interests and personality. This could include karaoke, wine tasting, craft sessions, or outdoor adventures. Don't forget to include some icebreakers and hen party games to get everyone involved and create a fun atmosphere. "Who Knows the Bride Best?" or "Prosecco Pong" are great options to get the party started!

Step 7: Food and Decorations

Don't forget to factor in food and decorations to elevate the hen party. Consider the dietary restrictions of the guests when planning meals, and feel free to add some festive touches like sashes, veils, party bags, bunting, and balloons. These little extras will make the event more special and create lasting memories for the bride and her squad.

Offer emotional support

Being a bridesmaid is a big honour, but it can also be a lot of hard work. Here are some ways to offer emotional support to the bride before the wedding:

Listen to Her

When the bride opens up to you, it is important to really listen and pay attention. It can be easy to get distracted, but it’s important that she is given your full attention. Active listening is a supportive and caring practice when someone is opening up to you.

Ask What She Needs

If the bride is opening up to you and you are not sure what she needs, ask her what she’s looking for. You could ask: "Would you prefer comfort or solutions right now?" If she just wants to vent, she may not be in a state to receive or appreciate advice and may feel upset and unheard.

Paraphrase and Repeat What She's Said

By doing this, you’re showing that you’re listening and that you understand what the bride is saying. It also validates what she is telling you. When she’s finished, summarise what she's said. You could start by saying: "What I'm hearing you share is..."

Take Her Problems Seriously

Whatever the bride is going through, it’s important to take it seriously and to respond with empathy, care, and compassion – even if it’s not something you’d personally see as a big deal. Her feelings are valid, and she will appreciate you taking her problems seriously.

Offer Physical Affection

Physical affection may be welcome and comforting when it comes to providing emotional support. This might be something as simple as holding her hand while she’s talking to you, or giving her a hug. You can offer physical affection by asking: "Can I hold your hand or rub your back as you are speaking?" and "Is it okay if I give you a hug?"

Provide Meaningful Gestures

When the bride is stressed, she might find it more difficult to carry out day-to-day tasks. While listening is important, she might also appreciate it if you take care of some chores or tasks. You could offer to help with wedding DIY, or pick up her favourite food so she doesn’t have to worry about cooking.

Check in Regularly

The bride will likely appreciate you checking in with her regularly – making time and effort to follow up shows you’re thinking about her and that you care about what she’s going through.

Help with wedding planning tasks

Bridesmaids have a long list of responsibilities in the lead-up to a wedding, and can be a huge support to the bride, groom, and wedding planner. Here are some ways you can help with wedding planning tasks:

Planning and Paying

Help plan (and pay for) the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The maid of honour will usually take the lead on this, but as a bridesmaid, you can support her efforts. This might include making reservations, buying decorations, and designing a detailed itinerary for the group. You can also chip in for the bride's expenses.

Emotional Support

Be there for the bride. Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's important to provide emotional support and be a shoulder to lean on. Check in with her throughout the process and ask what she needs.

Practical Support

Help with practical tasks such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetising escort cards, and getting hands-on with easy DIY projects. You can also accompany the bride to pick out rentals or attend her hair and makeup trials.

Venue and Rehearsal

Visit the wedding venue if required and help make decisions on layout and décor. Meet the wedding coordinator and offer yourself as a point of contact on the day for any issues. Be present at the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

Gifts and Cards

Buy a wedding gift for the couple from their wedding registry and have it shipped to them before the wedding. Send the couple a celebratory gift shortly after their engagement, even if you haven't officially been asked to be a bridesmaid yet.

Travel and Accommodation

Book any travel and accommodation as soon as you have the finalised wedding date. It's a good idea to do this early so that your travel logistics are convenient for the schedule and location of important events.

Dress Shopping

Join the bride for wedding dress shopping appointments and offer your opinion to help her choose her attire. You can also help the bride and other bridesmaids with their dress shopping and fittings.

Pre-Wedding Events

Attend all pre-wedding events, including the bridal shower and bachelorette party. You might also be invited to engagement parties and couples' showers.

Wedding Day Timeline

Know the wedding day timeline inside out. Remember, it's your job to make the couple's life easier on the day, which means knowing where to be and when without being told.

Emergency Kit

Prepare an emergency kit for the wedding day. This could include items such as double-stick fashion tape, a stain remover stick, clear nail polish, pain relievers, a lint roller, and tampons and pads.

Post-Wedding

After the wedding, help gather personal items, transport gifts, and participate in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch. Organise any miscellaneous or leftover wedding items, and settle any outstanding payments.

Attend pre-wedding events

As a bridesmaid, you'll be expected to attend pre-wedding events like the bridal shower and bachelorette party. You may also be asked to help plan these events, which can include making reservations, buying decorations, and designing a detailed itinerary for the group. It's customary to chip in financially for these events, and to cover the bride's expenses.

In addition to the bridal shower and bachelorette party, there are other pre-wedding events that you, as a bridesmaid, should attend. These include the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, which usually take place the night before the wedding. It's important to attend the rehearsal so that you know where to assemble, enter, exit, and stand during the ceremony. The rehearsal dinner is also a chance to show your support for the bride during the final moments of preparation before the big day.

Other pre-wedding events that bridesmaids are expected to attend include engagement parties, couples' showers, and any other gatherings related to wedding planning, such as a group trip to a dress shop to try on bridesmaid dresses.

Remember, as a bridesmaid, your role is to provide emotional support to the bride and be her rock during this exciting but stressful time. So, showing up for these pre-wedding events is a great way to demonstrate your love and support.

Book travel and accommodation

As a bridesmaid, you may be expected to help your friend find their wedding attire and weigh in on outfit options. You will also need to book any travel and overnight accommodations as soon as the wedding date is finalized. If the wedding is taking place where you live, you won't need to worry about booking travel, but you should still consider whether you need to book overnight accommodation.

If the wedding starts early in the day, you may want to book a hotel room for the night before the wedding, so you can get ready nearby without having to wake up too early. If the wedding venue has a bridal suite, this may be an option for getting ready, but for larger bridal parties, it may be too small a space. In this case, you could book a hotel room, but you will need to consider check-in and check-out times. You may need to book the room for two nights, or request a late check-out.

If you are the bride, it is up to you whether you want to pay for your bridesmaids' travel and accommodation. This is not expected, but it is a nice gesture, especially if your bridesmaids are travelling a long way or if you were treated to similar when you were a bridesmaid yourself. If you cannot afford to pay for their rooms, you could offer your spare room to one of the bridesmaids or suggest a nearby hotel that may offer a group discount.

Frequently asked questions