Deborah Chan
Wedding toasts are an integral part of a couple's big day and are often done during the meal at the wedding reception. The timing of the toasts is crucial, as it can impact the overall celebration. Some suggest starting the toasts about halfway through dinner, while others recommend waiting until the end of the meal, just before the dance floor opens. Toasts can also be used as a kick-off opportunity for other events, such as cake cutting or the first dance. Ultimately, the decision on when to schedule the toasts is up to the couple and can be tailored to their preferences and the flow of the reception.
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During cocktail hour
Cocktail hour is a time-honored wedding tradition that allows guests to mingle, enjoy drinks and appetizers, and take photos before the formal reception begins. It usually occurs between the ceremony and the reception, acting as a buffer to transform the event from a solemn ceremony to a celebratory soirée. During this hour, guests can explore the venue, enjoy light refreshments, and participate in entertainment. It also provides an opportunity for the newlyweds to take a moment alone, enjoy a meal, and bask in the joy of their marriage.
For casual weddings, cocktail hour is an excellent time for toasts. It captures the attention of guests, and once the toasts are made, everyone can relax and continue mingling during the reception. The toasts during cocktail hour can be short speeches or even a simple champagne reception, allowing guests to offer personal congratulations to the newlyweds. This timing also ensures that those giving speeches can enjoy the rest of the wedding without the pressure of an upcoming speech hanging over them.
Additionally, cocktail hour offers logistical benefits. It provides time for the wedding team to prepare dinner and get organized, ensuring a smooth transition into the reception. This hour also allows the couple to take additional photos with family and friends, capturing memories beyond the formal ceremony.
The dress code for cocktail hour can vary depending on the wedding's overall dress code. For a formal wedding, guests may be expected to wear cocktail attire, such as evening gowns or elegant jumpsuits. For a more casual wedding, guests can wear dressy clothing of their choice, such as suits, blazers, or nice tops with jeans.
While the newlyweds may choose to join the cocktail hour and mingle with their guests, it is also common for them to use this time for private photos or to celebrate with their wedding party. Ultimately, the cocktail hour is a versatile and essential part of the wedding day, offering a seamless transition into the reception while creating memorable moments for both the couple and their guests.
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Before dinner
Wedding toasts are a great way to gain your guests' attention and are usually done at three wedding events: the engagement party, the rehearsal dinner, and the wedding reception.
Toasts can be done before dinner, during dinner, or after dinner. If you choose to do toasts before dinner, it is easier to get everyone's attention as guests are usually seated and relatively quiet. This is also a good option if you have nervous speakers, as they can relax during the meal. You can also place some food on the table, such as an antipasto platter or a preset salad, so that your guests do not remain hungry.
If you are having a sit-down dinner, the toast can take place as soon as everyone is seated. This is a good time to have the guests' undivided attention, and the speakers will not have to compete with the commotion of a buffet dinner or the interruptions of wait staff during the meal service.
However, some people believe that toasts during dinner can be a great time-saver. You can have the toasts 20 or 30 minutes into dinner, so people can listen to the speeches while enjoying their meal. This also saves time by combining events.
If you are having a cocktail reception, the best man will usually make a toast after the couple enters the reception.
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After the first dance
There is no set rule about when toasts should be done at a wedding, and the order of events is ultimately up to you. However, here are some suggestions for when to do toasts after the first dance:
After Dinner
Toasts can be done after dinner, as champagne was originally intended to "cleanse the palate" and the soul after a meal. Doing the toasts after dinner also creates a sense of excitement and anticipation for the party ahead.
During Dinner
Toasts can also be done during dinner, either staggered throughout the meal or all at once about 20 minutes into the meal when everyone is finishing up or slowing down their eating. This way, your guests will be settled and have their food, so they won't be hungry while listening to the toasts.
Before Dinner
If you prefer, you can also do the toasts before dinner, right after the first dance. This can be a good option if the people offering the toasts are nervous, as it allows them to enjoy their meals afterward. It's also easier to get everyone's attention before the meal begins.
After Cake Cutting
Toasts can be done after cutting the cake, as most guests tend to quiet down during this time, and it's usually announced by the emcee. However, this may be later in the evening, after other activities such as dancing and bouquet/garter tosses.
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During dinner
Toasts during dinner are a great way to ensure your guests are captive and fed while they listen to the speeches. Here are some tips and suggestions for planning toasts during dinner at a wedding:
Timing of Toasts During Dinner
The timing of toasts during dinner can vary depending on the wedding style and personal preferences. Some couples choose to have toasts after the first course or about 30 minutes into dinner. This ensures that guests have something to eat and are settled, creating a captive audience. Others might opt for toasts right before the meal begins, as it is easier to get everyone's attention at that time.
Number of Toasts
It is essential to consider the number of toasts during dinner to maintain a good flow. While there is no set rule, some suggest that two toasts or speeches is ideal, and four should be the maximum. Having too many toasts can disrupt the flow of the reception.
Order of Toasts
The order of toasts during dinner can follow a traditional sequence or be customized to the couple's preferences. Here is a suggested order:
- Best Man: The best man's toast is traditionally the first and most formal one. It is brief, lasting a minute or two, and occurs after all guests have a glass of champagne and are seated.
- Maid of Honor: The maid of honor's speech usually follows the best man's, and it is a sweet moment at the reception.
- Parents of the Bride: The parents of the bride typically speak next, and it is common for the father of the bride to make a toast at some point during the wedding celebrations.
- Parents of the Groom: The parents of the groom may speak together or separately, often including a toast from the groom's father.
- Bride and Groom: The couple may also give a thank-you speech during dinner or at another point during the reception.
Additional Considerations
To ensure the toasts during dinner run smoothly, consider the following:
- Keep the toasts concise and to the point, especially if there are multiple speakers.
- Prepare speakers ahead of time to avoid rambling and ensure they stay within a strict time limit (e.g., 3-5 minutes).
- If there is a buffet dinner, consider timing the toasts when most guests have finished their first round at the buffet and are seated.
- Use the toasts as a kickoff opportunity for other events, such as the first dance or cake cutting, to keep the party moving.
- Inform the DJ or emcee about the timing of the toasts so they can help quiet guests and make announcements.
Remember, the key to successful toasts during dinner is to create a balance between the number of speeches, their timing, and the overall flow of the reception to ensure a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone.
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After dinner
Toasts and speeches are a key part of a wedding reception. They give guests an insight into the couple, their relationship, and their families. While there is no wrong time for toasts, they are usually done after dinner, towards the end of the meal. This gives the speakers plenty of time to enjoy the reception once they're done.
The main course of the wedding dinner is usually the longest, so it gives an excellent opportunity for the various toasts to be delivered uninterrupted. It is also a great time to have the toasts done early, so guests can relax and mingle for the rest of the night.
If you are planning something more casual than a seated dinner, the best time to capture the audience's attention may be when guests have a signature cocktail in their hands. This option allows for the toasts to be delivered early, and once the toast happens, guests can mingle and relax for the rest of the night.
Toasts can also be done after cutting the wedding cake but before dessert. This makes sense because most guests quiet down for the cake-cutting, and it is usually announced by the emcee.
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Frequently asked questions
There are several options for when to do toasts during a wedding reception. One option is to have toasts during dinner, about three-quarters of the way through the meal. This way, once the toasts are done, guests can hit the dance floor. Another option is to have toasts at the end of the meal, so that those giving speeches can enjoy the reception once they're done. Toasts can also be done before dinner, but it's important to provide guests with some food so they don't have to sit through the speeches hungry.
The traditional order of toasts at a wedding starts with the father of the bride, followed by the maid of honor, and ends with the best man. However, this order can be adjusted to suit the wedding. For instance, some couples choose to alternate toasts from one side of the family to the other.
To ensure the toasts run smoothly, it's important to let each speaker know when they'll be speaking ahead of time. It's also a good idea to use a microphone for outdoor weddings or large weddings so that everyone can hear the toasts.
Toasts can be used as a "kickoff" opportunity for other wedding activities, such as the first dance or cake cutting. For example, the last toaster can naturally announce the next activity.
