Junior Rasmussen
Wedding speeches are an integral part of a couple's big day, with the potential to make the celebration feel extra personal and sentimental. The timing of these speeches is crucial, as they can impact the overall celebration. Traditionally, wedding speeches are given at the rehearsal dinner, the wedding reception, and sometimes during the ceremony. While there is no set rule, speeches are typically given towards the end of the meal or after dinner, allowing guests to relax and enjoy the rest of the night. The number of speeches should also be considered, with a recommendation of no more than four to ensure they don't interfere with other reception activities. Ultimately, the decision on when to give speeches is up to the couple, who may choose to follow tradition or create their own unique timeline.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of speeches | No more than four |
| Length of each speech | No longer than 3 minutes |
| Total length of speeches | 20 minutes maximum |
| Timing | During the meal, towards the end of the meal, or after the meal |
| Speakers | Father of the bride/groom, mother of the groom, other hosts, best man, maid of honour, other bridesmaids and groomsmen, the couple, grandparents, close relatives, officiant, ceremony readers |
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What You'll Learn
Speeches during dinner
There are differing opinions on the best time to give a speech during a wedding reception. Some sources suggest that speeches should be given at the end of the meal, as this gives the speakers plenty of time to enjoy the reception once they're done. This option also allows guests to get food and drinks before sitting down to listen to the speeches. Starting with speeches can also make guests anxious about when the food will be served.
However, some people prefer to get the speeches out of the way at the beginning of the reception so that they can relax and enjoy the dinner. This option is also better for nervous speakers, as they can get it done and then enjoy the wedding a bit sooner. It also gives the catering team and venue staff more time to arrange things.
Regardless of when you choose to have the speeches, it's important to keep the total length of the speeches in mind and to limit the number of speakers to no more than four people. This will ensure that the speeches don't cut into the rest of the reception timeline, such as dinner and cutting the cake. A good rule of thumb is to keep the entire speech portion of the reception to 20 minutes maximum.
Traditionally, the father of the groom, mother of the groom, or other hosts will begin by thanking guests for attending. This is followed by the best man and maid of honour speeches, and then other bridesmaids and groomsmen can share their well wishes. The couple will then thank their relatives and wedding party, and finally, other family members or important guests may share informal congratulations.
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Toasts at the end of the meal
The wedding reception is about the newly married couple, but it's also a time for friends and relatives to catch up, listen to music, and sample dessert tables. Wedding toasts are an integral part of a couple's big day and are a key way to make the celebration feel extra personal and sentimental.
There are various options for when to schedule wedding toasts, and ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide what works best for them. One option is to have toasts at the end of the meal, giving speechmakers plenty of time to enjoy the reception once they're done. This option ensures that guests are not kept waiting for their meal and allows them to be well-fed, relaxed, and perhaps a few drinks in, which can make the atmosphere more jovial and receptive. It also gives the catering team and venue staff more time to prepare, especially if there is a room turnaround.
If you decide to have toasts at the end of the meal, you can either have speechmakers get up to speak at the end of dinner or invite them to take the stage when it's time to dance. It's recommended to keep the total number of speeches to no more than four to avoid disrupting the reception timeline. You can schedule the toasts and then head straight into cake cutting, first dances, and then open up the dance floor for all guests.
While wedding traditions exist, they are not rules that couples must follow. The format of wedding speeches and toasts can be adjusted to suit the couple's preferences and their guests' comfort levels.
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Who should give a speech
Wedding speeches are traditionally given by the couple's parents or other hosts, who thank the guests for attending. The best man and maid of honour also typically give speeches at the wedding reception, and this is an opportunity for other bridesmaids and groomsmen to share their well wishes for the newlyweds. The couple may also give a speech, either individually or together, to thank their guests and express their excitement about married life.
Other family members or important guests, such as grandparents, may prefer to give a more informal speech during the rehearsal dinner. The officiant may also choose to share a story about the couple during the ceremony, particularly if they are a close friend.
It is common for weddings to feature three speeches, usually given by the best man, the father of the bride, and the groom. However, there is no reason to stick to tradition, and you can ask whoever you want to give a speech if it will mean something to you. This could include other close relatives, friends, or children of the couple. If there are many people who would like to speak, you may want to limit the number of speeches to four, or ask others to speak at the rehearsal dinner instead.
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How many speeches
The number of wedding speeches you have is entirely up to you, but it's recommended to limit the number to no more than four people to ensure the reception timeline isn't disrupted. If you do decide to have more than four speeches, keep them brief. A good rule of thumb is to keep the entire speech portion of the reception to a maximum of 20 minutes.
There are many people who traditionally give speeches at weddings, including the father of the groom, mother of the groom, or other hosts who will thank guests for attending. The wedding party, including the best man and maid of honour, will also give speeches, and the couple may give a speech to thank their relatives and wedding party. Other family members or important guests, such as grandparents, may also wish to share an informal congratulations during the rehearsal dinner.
If one or both sets of parents are hosting the wedding, they may also choose to say a few words to welcome everyone as part of the wedding speech order. The couple may also opt to make a toast, particularly if they are hosting the wedding. This is usually a wedding thank-you speech directed at everyone involved, including the bridal party, family, and guests. The couple may also express their excitement about starting their new married life together.
In addition to the people mentioned above, other close loved ones may be honoured to speak at the reception, such as children, stepchildren, or other relatives or friends.
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Speech length
Wedding speeches are traditionally given by the best man and the maid of honour, with a parent of the couple sometimes making a speech during dessert. The newlyweds may also wish to give a speech to thank their guests for attending.
The length of a wedding speech is important, as you don't want to disrupt the flow of the reception or bore your guests. Most sources suggest that wedding speeches should be kept short and sweet, with a maximum length of around 5 minutes. One source recommends keeping the entire speech portion of the reception to 20 minutes if you have more than four speakers, and dividing the time equally between them.
If you're giving a speech, it's a good idea to practice beforehand and time yourself. This will help you feel more confident and ensure your speech stays within the recommended time frame. It's also important to show your love for the couple and make them look good.
Some people may prefer to memorise their speech, while others may use note cards for reference. It's not necessary to memorise your entire speech, but practicing will help you feel more comfortable and confident on the big day.
There are also tools available that can help you write and time your speech, such as Provenance.
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Frequently asked questions
There are various options for when to give a speech at a wedding. Speeches can be given during the wedding ceremony, at the rehearsal dinner, during the wedding reception, or after the meal.
Giving a speech at the wedding reception means that your guests are already gathered and seated. It also cuts down on how long they're left sitting at the tables.
Giving a speech after the meal means your guests are well-fed, relaxed, and likely to have had a few drinks. It also gives the catering team and staff at the venue more time to prepare.
The father of the groom, mother of the groom, or other hosts will thank guests for attending. The couple may also give a speech to thank their relatives and wedding party for their support. The best man and maid of honour should give speeches at the wedding reception, and other bridesmaids and groomsmen may also share their well wishes. Other family members or important guests, such as grandparents, may wish to share an informal congratulations during the rehearsal dinner.
