Deborah Chan
Somali weddings are a significant aspect of Somali culture, uniting not just two people but two families and two tribes. Before the wedding, there is an engagement or 'Meher' where the groom's family elders set an appointment with the bride's family and ask for her hand in marriage. The groom's family pays a dowry to the bride's family, which in nomadic societies includes camels, a horse, and a gun, and in urban societies is in the form of money. After the engagement, there is a traditional Muslim ceremony called a 'nikah' where the couple's union is officiated by an Imam. The wedding reception, called an 'aroos', follows the nikah and is held in the evening. The wedding party is often gender-mixed, although men and women may celebrate separately for a while. The bride typically wears a 'guntiino' or 'dirac' and a white dress, and the men wear suits. The wedding is filled with singing, dancing, and traditional food.
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What You'll Learn
Traditional Muslim ceremony, 'nikah'
In Somalia, weddings are a significant cultural moment, with religious rituals playing a crucial role. Before the wedding, there is the engagement, or "soo doonis", which is a cultural rather than religious tradition. During this time, the groom's family visits the bride's home, where the most senior elder from the groom's family asks for the bride's hand in marriage on behalf of the groom and his family. If the bride's family agrees, the groom must pay a dowry or bride price, which in the past included camels, land, and gold.
Following the engagement, a traditional Muslim ceremony called a "nikah" will occur. This ceremony is typically held at the bride's home or another venue a few days before or on the afternoon of the wedding reception. The nikah is a religious ceremony for Muslim couples, where they officially and legally wed under Islamic law. An imam, or Muslim cleric, presides over the ceremony, although any devout Muslim male can officiate. The ceremony typically lasts between 30 and 45 minutes. During the Nikah, the groom's side asks again for the bride, and the bride's side agrees and gives her away symbolically. The bride and groom must consent to the marriage of their own free will, and a formal, binding contract, either verbal or on paper, is signed, outlining the rights and responsibilities of both parties. The contract is signed in front of the imam and at least two witnesses.
After the nikah, the wedding reception, called an "aroos" in Somali, is held in the evening. The genders may celebrate separately for a while before coming together at the end of the night to dance and celebrate. The bride often changes attire three times, starting with a traditional Somali dress, followed by a Western-style white wedding dress, and lastly another Somali dress. The women dance to the sound of drums and folksongs about love and praise for the bride.
Immediately after the wedding party, the couple is escorted to their new home by their families, who bless them and serve them milk. The bride's relatives also prepare large containers of ground beef jerky and mashed dates for the couple.
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The proposal and dowry
In Somali culture, weddings are a significant moment. Before the wedding, there is the proposal and dowry to consider. Traditionally, the man will ask the father of his future bride or the head of the household for their future bride's hand in marriage. This is known as "soo doonis" and is cultural rather than religious. It is an official proposal with witnesses and an agreement with both sides of the family. The groom's family elders will set an appointment with the bride's family, with the most senior elder asking for the bride on behalf of the groom and his family. If the bride's family agrees, the man must pay a dowry or bride price. In nomadic societies, this might include camels, land, horses, guns, and gold. In urban areas, the dowry is usually money.
The dowry is a way of showing respect to the bride and her family and is a tradition that is meant to reduce the risk of divorce. Once the dowry has been paid, the engagement, or "mehr", is confirmed. This is followed by a traditional Muslim ceremony called a "nikah", which is usually held a few days before the wedding reception or on the afternoon of the wedding day. During the "nikah", the groom's side asks again for the bride, and the bride's side agrees and gives her away symbolically. The real giving away is done between the Imam and the Maxram, and the couple's union is made official in the eyes of Islam.
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The wedding attire
During the wedding, the bride often changes her attire three times. She starts with a "guntiino" or "diric", changes into a white wedding dress, and finally wears another "guntiino" or "diric". The groom usually follows a few hours after the bride's entrance, either with his groomsmen or during the bride's outfit change, and they enter together.
Somali weddings are a significant aspect of Somali culture, marking the union of two souls, families, and tribes. The celebrations include religious rituals, singing, and dancing. There is also a feast of traditional food, including rice, meat, and drinks. The decorations are often gold, white, and brown fabric draped from the ceiling, adorned with rainbow pendants and strings of lights and flowers.
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Aroos (wedding party)
Aroos, also known as the wedding reception, is the main wedding event in Somali culture. It is often bigger and more elaborate than the marriage ceremony. Aroos is held in the evening, with the bride and groom making separate entrances. The bride will usually wear a co: 3,6,10,12,14/"guntino" or "dirac", followed by a western-style white wedding dress, and then another "guntino" or "dirac". The groom will typically wear a suit.
The wedding party is often gender-mixed, although Somalis are mostly conservative, so some distance is kept. The night is filled with dancing and singing, with women drumming and performing traditional songs. There is also a serenade and a tribute to the families and their tribes, called "baranbur and gabey". A woman usually sings the "gabey", and women from each family can perform the "baranbur".
The bride is also given a "shaash saar", where silk scarves are put on her to ward off divorce or other bad outcomes of her marriage. This is usually done seven days after the wedding, once the marriage has been consummated. However, some sources state that the shaash saar can be done on the day of the wedding.
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Aqal gal (retreat to home)
The Aqal gal, or 'retreat to home', is the final stage of a Somali wedding. Immediately after the wedding party, the couple is escorted to their new home by their families. The bride is officially 'given away' to the groom and his family.
The couple receives a traditional gift of xeedho, large containers filled with oodkac (ground beef jerky) and timir (dates, often mashed with peppercorn), prepared by their female relatives. They are blessed by their families and served milk. In very traditional ceremonies, the bride's feet are placed in a tub of water to cool her and bring tranquility to the home.
The wedding marks the union of two tribes, as well as two individuals, and so the couple is often gifted with camels, land, gold, or money by their families.
The final stage of the wedding is the shaash saar, which takes place seven days after the wedding, after consummation. This is a small party to celebrate the bride becoming a married woman, and she is given silk scarves by married women to place on her head.
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Frequently asked questions
Traditionally, the man must ask the father of his future bride or the head of the household for his future bride's hand in marriage. This is known as "soo doonis" and is cultural rather than religious. The groom's family elders will then set an appointment with the bride's family. During this meeting, the groom's family will ask for the bride and, if the bride's family agrees, the groom must pay a dowry or bride price.
The marriage ceremony, or "nikah", is typically held in the home a few days before the wedding reception or on the afternoon of the wedding reception. The bride's family symbolically gives her away, but the real giving away is done between the Imam and the Maxram. The couple's union is then officiated by an Imam, a mosque official, and becomes official in Islam. The nikah is followed by the women singing traditional songs, dancing, and food. The main wedding event is called "aroos" and is often bigger and more elaborate. The bride will often change attire three times, and the wedding party is often mixed-gender.
Traditionally, Somali brides wear a "guntino" or "dirac" and the groom wears a suit. Nowadays, the bride will typically wear at least two dresses: a dirac or guntino, and a white dress.
The couple is escorted to their new home by their families, who bless them and serve them milk. Seven days after the wedding, a small party is held to congratulate the couple and give them gifts. At this party, married women gift the bride a shaash saar, where silk scarves are put on her head to initiate her as a married woman.
