Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Asking For Monetary Gifts Gracefully

It is not considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift. However, it is generally agreed that the one place where your preference for cash gifts should never be explicitly stated is on your wedding invitation. So, how do you ask for money instead of gifts? Here are some ideas for how to politely ask for monetary gifts for your wedding.

Why you're asking for money instead of gifts

Why we're asking for money instead of gifts

We know that some of you may be surprised to see that we're asking for money as a wedding gift, but we want to explain why we've made this decision and why it's so important to us. Firstly, we already live together and have all the homeware items we need. We don't want to burden you or ourselves with gifts that we don't have space for or that we won't use.

We also want to be mindful of the logistics of the day itself. We don't want to have to worry about transporting lots of gifts home, and we don't want you to have that worry either! We'd hate for gifts to get damaged or lost on the way home, and we know that's a possibility.

We've also been thinking about our future and the things we want to achieve together. We have some big plans and dreams that we're excited to work towards, and we would be so grateful for any contributions towards these.

We know that some people prefer to give physical gifts, and we completely understand that. We want you to know that your presence at our wedding is the most important thing to us, and we are so happy to be able to celebrate with you. If you do wish to give a gift, we've included some suggestions below that would be incredibly helpful to us as we start this new chapter of our lives.

Thank you for your understanding and support, and we can't wait to see you on our big day!

How to politely ask for money

While it may feel awkward to ask for money instead of physical gifts, it is not considered rude to do so. In fact, it has become quite the norm, especially for couples who already live together or are looking to buy a home together. Here are some ways to politely ask for money as a wedding gift:

Use a Wedding Website

Create a wedding website and include a section that talks about your preferences for gifts. You can include a simple message like, "We'd be over the moon if you'd consider giving money instead of gifts," followed by what you're hoping to spend the money on. This is a great way to politely make your wishes known without putting your request on the invitation itself.

Use a Cash or Honeymoon Registry Website

Use a cash registry website, such as Honeyfund or Zola, where guests can give monetary gifts that can be used for long-term projects, building a savings account, or booking your dream honeymoon. This is a clear signal that you'd prefer cash gifts, and it eliminates the awkwardness of asking how you'd like to receive the money.

Provide a Link to Your Wedding Website on Your Invitations

If someone is looking for your gift registry, the first place they'll look is your wedding website. Be sure to include a link to your wedding website on your invitations or include an insert card with the web address. This will indirectly guide them to your registry and your preference for cash gifts.

Mention Your Wishes to Close Friends and Family Members

Share your preferences for wedding gifts with your inner circle, and let word-of-mouth take its course. They can then answer any questions from other guests about what you're saving for and suggest that they contribute to your savings fund instead of giving a physical gift.

Be Specific About How You'll Use the Cash

Letting guests know how you plan to use the money can make a request for cash feel more personal and help guests feel more connected to your plans. For example, you could say something like, "We're saving for our first home, so any contributions towards our house deposit would be greatly appreciated."

Use a Poem or Lighthearted Verse

Including a lighthearted poem or verse in your invitation can be a creative and thoughtful way to express your preference for cash gifts. It adds a personal and creative touch to your invites and allows you to communicate your wishes in a warm and inviting way.

"Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a cash gift would be very welcome."

"We're extremely lucky to have love, laughter, and a house full of furniture. So, if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund at [details here]."

"The most important thing to us is that you are able to celebrate with us on our wedding day. However, if you wish to give a gift, we will gratefully accept a small contribution towards our honeymoon."

Honeymoon fund requests

Honeymoon funds are a great way for your friends and family to contribute to one of the most meaningful trips you will ever take as a couple. It is a way for them to gift you experiences that you will remember for a lifetime.

Do's and Don'ts

• Do not ask for money on your wedding invites.
• Keep the wording on your wedding invitation minimal, leaving room for the most pertinent details, including time, place, and venue.
• Include a separate insert card with your wedding website and wording specific to your registry wishes.
• Be specific about how you plan to use the money.
• Share details about what you plan to do with the money, alternative ways to contribute, or a message of appreciation.
• Set up a "honeymoon fund box" at your wedding reception where guests can place cheques, cash, or gift cards.
• Let your wedding party, close family members, and friends know about your gift preferences so they can help spread the word.

Wording Examples

Short and Simple:

• "Your presence at our wedding is the best present of all. However, if you'd like to give us a gift, we would appreciate contributions toward our honeymoon fund, which will help us go on our dream trip to [location]. You can find the link to our honeymoon registry here [include link]."
• "We can't wait to celebrate with you on our wedding day. We're planning a honeymoon to [destination here]; if you'd like to help us get there by contributing to our honeymoon fund, we'd be grateful! You can find our honeymoon registry at [URL here]."

Additional Wording Samples:

• "As we look forward to celebrating our wedding with you, we realize we have all the "stuff" we need to start our lives together. What we want most of all is to create memorable experiences on our honeymoon. You can help us by contributing toward our dream trip to [destination name here]. You can find our honeymoon fund registry at [URL here] and choose what part of our trip you'd like to be part of!"
• "Thank you for sharing in our happiness. If you'd like to give us a wedding gift, we would love a contribution toward our dream honeymoon to [destination here]. At our honeymoon registry [include link], you can view our wish list for all the places we'd like to go and things we'd like to do, and choose what you want to contribute toward."

"In Lieu of Gifts" Wording:

"Dear Friends and Family, as we prepare to embark on our new journey together, your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift we could ask for. However, if you would like to contribute to our special day, we have created a honeymoon fund instead of registering for traditional gifts. Your donation will help make our honeymoon unforgettable and create memories that will last a lifetime. To contribute, simply visit [insert link to your online honeymoon fund]. Thank you for your love and support. We can't wait to celebrate with you! With love and gratitude, [Your Names]"

Poem Wording:

"Roses are red; violets are blue, We can't wait to share our big day with you! Afterward, we'll be on the way, To our adventurous honeymoon getaway. There are ways to help us take flight, Have a spa day or a date night. Be a part of our first married trip, We're so excited; we could flip! To contribute, simply visit [insert link to online honeymoon fund]. With sincere appreciation, [Your Names]"

Using a wedding website to ask for money

A wedding website is a great way to ask for money as a wedding gift without having to be too direct. It's becoming more common for couples to ask for cash gifts, especially if they are already living together and don't need homeware items. Here are some tips on how to use your wedding website to politely ask for money:

• Create an FAQ page: A Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) page is a great way to provide guests with all the information they need in one place. Include a section on gifts, where you can mention your preference for cash gifts. You can also include a link to your wedding registry or provide details on how guests can contribute to your honeymoon fund.
• Provide subtle hints: Instead of directly asking for money, you can use subtle hints or sample phrases to indicate your preference for cash gifts. For example, you can say, "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a cash gift would be very welcome." Another option is to mention that you already have a lot of physical items: "Like most couples who have known each other for a while, we're surrounded by all the household treasures anyone could ever want or need. No gifts are ever required, but if you wish to give, you'll find our registry details at [link]."
• Share your plans for the money: Weaving in your personal story can be a cute way to ask for money. For example, you can mention that you're saving for your first home or planning a dream honeymoon. This helps guests understand that their contribution will go towards something meaningful.
• Offer other alternatives: While you may prefer cash gifts, some guests might still want to give a physical gift. You can make a small, tailored gift registry with a few physical items, or suggest gift cards or vouchers for experiences or products you like.
• Provide a link to your wedding website: Make sure to include a link to your wedding website on your invitations. This way, guests can easily find the information they need, including your preferences for gifts.
• Use word-of-mouth: In addition to your wedding website, you can also mention your preference for cash gifts to your close friends and family members. They can then help spread the word to other guests.

Remember, it's important to be respectful and thoughtful when asking for money as a wedding gift. Avoid asking for money directly on your wedding invitations, as it may come across as presumptuous or greedy. By using your wedding website effectively, you can politely communicate your wishes to your guests.

Poems to ask for money

Asking for money as a wedding gift can be a tricky task, but it is not considered rude to do so. Here are some poems to politely ask for money as a wedding gift:

Poem 1:

If a gift is on your mind,

A contribution would be kind.

It will help us more than words can say,

To celebrate our special day!

Poem 2:

If a gift is your intention,

We thought that we would mention,

We'd love some pennies to rub together,

To save for something we will treasure!

Poem 3:

As we’ve lived together for a year or two,

We really don’t need anything new.

But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift,

Some money for our future wouldn’t go amiss.

Poem 4:

As we’re getting married, we thought it would be great,

To move into a brand new home — we really cannot wait!

As wedding gifts are bulky and we’re a little short on space,

Some money would be the ideal gift to help us buy our place!

Poem 5:

We know it’s not traditional,

It’s not the way it’s done,

But instead of a wedding gift,

We’d like a bit of sun!

Frequently asked questions