Wedding Invite Etiquette: When To Send Out Your Invitations

Wedding invitation etiquette is a tricky subject. While you may be excited to share your special day with your nearest and dearest, there are a lot of nuances to consider when it comes to sending out invites. From timing to wording, there are several places where things can go wrong. Send your invites too late and your guests will feel rushed; send them too early and you risk your guests forgetting about your big day altogether. So, when is the right time to send out wedding invites?

Send invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding

Sending your wedding invites out six to eight weeks in advance is considered the traditional and polite thing to do. This gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if they need to. It's also a good idea to send out save-the-date cards six to eight months before the wedding, or even earlier if you're having a destination wedding. This gives your guests a heads-up so they can start making plans and gives you a chance to share your wedding website, where they can find more details.

When sending out your invites, be sure to include the full names of the couple getting married, the hosts (if different), the place, and the time of the ceremony. It's also important to be clear about who is invited. For example, if you're inviting a couple but not their children, address the envelope to “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” rather than “The Smith Family".

You should also include an RSVP card with a pre-addressed and stamped envelope, giving your guests three to four weeks to respond. This will allow you to get a final headcount to your caterer and finalize your seating chart.

Finally, don't forget the little details that make a big difference. Consider handwriting the addresses or adding a personal touch like a monogram or personalised wedding logo to the back of the invite.

Send save-the-dates 4-6 months before

Save-the-date cards are not mandatory, but they are a fun way to get your guests excited about your wedding and give them a chance to plan. They are especially helpful if many of your guests will need to make travel arrangements or if accommodation near your wedding venue is limited.

Save-the-dates should be sent out four to six months before the wedding, or even earlier if you're planning a destination wedding that may require more extensive travel arrangements. Sending them out six to eight months in advance is also acceptable if you have your wedding details finalized.

• Only send them to people you plan on inviting to the wedding.
• Include the names of the couple getting married and the wedding date, along with a note that invitations will follow.
• Include the city and state of the wedding location, even if you don't have the exact venue yet. This is a courtesy to your guests, many of whom may need to travel and book accommodations.
• If you have a wedding website, include the URL on your save-the-date. This will allow guests to find more information and stay updated as you finalize your wedding plans.
• Be creative with your save-the-dates, but make sure all the pertinent information is included and easy to find.

Ask for RSVPs 2-4 weeks before

Asking for RSVPs 2-4 weeks before your wedding date is a good idea for several reasons. Firstly, it gives your guests enough time to respond, especially if they need to make travel plans or accommodations. Secondly, it allows you to finalise your wedding planning details, such as the seating chart, menu selections, and cake size. It also gives you a more accurate headcount to provide to your caterers and vendors so they can make the necessary preparations.

• Include an RSVP deadline on your cards: Give your guests 3 to 4 weeks to respond, and make sure the deadline is at least 2 weeks before your wedding. This will help ensure you have enough time to finalise the details and give your caterers a final headcount.
• Provide clear RSVP instructions: Let guests know how to RSVP by including a pre-addressed envelope or directing them to a specific email, phone number, or website URL.
• Pre-address and stamp the RSVP envelope: It is considered proper etiquette to provide a stamped envelope for your guests' responses. This saves them the hassle and expense of finding a stamp, and increases the likelihood of a timely response.
• Follow up with guests who haven't responded: If some guests miss the deadline or forget to respond, give them a quick call or send a polite reminder to ensure you receive their RSVP.
• Be mindful of international guests: If you have guests travelling from abroad, it's a good idea to give them a heads-up about the wedding details in advance. Send their invitations earlier than the others, or give them a quick call or email to ensure they have enough time to make travel arrangements.

Include all necessary information

Wedding invitations should include all the necessary information to keep your guests informed and happy. This includes the full names of the couple getting married, the names of the hosts (if different), the date, time, and location of the ceremony, and whether a reception will follow.

If the reception is at a different location, you can include this on the invitation or, more formally, print a separate reception card with the time and address. It is also a good idea to include any pre- and post-wedding events, hotel information, and a link to your wedding website.

The dress code is another important detail to include, as well as any other pertinent information such as activities to fill the time before the ceremony starts. This could be something simple like signing the guest book, or serving spa water and setting up a photo area.

If you are having an adults-only wedding, it is considered impolite to print this on the invitation. Instead, be intentional about how you address your invitations. State each guest by name, rather than "and guest" or "family".

It is also important to be clear about who is invited. If you are inviting a couple but not their children, address the envelope to “Mr. and Mrs.” followed by the husband's first and last name. If you are inviting someone with a plus-one, write "and Guest" or put the name of their significant other if you know it.

Finally, don't forget to include an RSVP card with a pre-addressed and stamped envelope, or direct guests to a specific email, phone number, or URL to respond to.

Be clear about who is invited

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, it's important to be crystal clear about who is invited to the wedding. This means taking the time to carefully consider your guest list and ensuring that the names on the invitation envelopes are accurate and explicit. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

Be explicit with names

It's essential to be explicit with the names on the invitation envelopes. If you're inviting a couple but not their children, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" rather than "The Smith Family." This implies that only the parents are invited. If you're inviting someone with a plus one, be sure to write "and Guest" or include the name of their significant other if you know it. For inviting the whole family, you can write "The Smith Family" or list each family member's name.

Addressing etiquette

When addressing married couples, the traditional format is ""Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. However, it's also acceptable to list both full names. For a woman who has kept her maiden name, the names should be written in alphabetical order: "Ms. Susan Jones and Mr. John Smith." For unmarried couples living together, write their names on separate lines. Address a female doctor as "Doctor" followed by her name and her husband's name, and for a male doctor, use "Doctor and Mrs." If both are doctors, use "Drs." followed by their names. Address a single woman as "Ms." unless she's under 21, in which case you can use "Miss."

Be mindful of groups and plus ones

When it comes to groups of people, such as aunts and uncles, it's generally considered fair to either invite them all or none at all. Regarding plus ones, married, engaged, or cohabiting couples should be invited together, even if you haven't met their partner. Beyond that, it's up to your discretion. You may choose to give a plus one to singles over 18 or only to those in a relationship. Consistency is key, and it's a thoughtful gesture to allow your single bridesmaids and groomsmen to invite dates if they wish.

Communicate clearly

If you're having an adults-only wedding, be intentional about how you address the invitations. State each guest by name, rather than using "and guest" or "family." If some guests add their children's names, kindly explain that it's an adults-only event and hope they can still attend. Consider arranging childcare and include this information on your wedding website.

Send timely invitations

Send your invitations with enough time for guests to respond and make travel arrangements if needed. For a non-destination wedding, send invitations six to eight weeks in advance. For a destination wedding or if many guests are travelling internationally, send invitations 12 weeks ahead of time. This gives your guests ample time to plan their attendance.

Frequently asked questions