Writing Pre-Wedding Invitation: A Step-By-Step Guide

A pre-wedding invitation is an important piece of the wedding planning puzzle. It is one of the first things your guests will see, touch, and feel, and it conveys critical information. The invitation should include who is getting married, the wedding date, the wedding location, the hosts of the wedding, the tone and formality of the wedding (including the dress code), and how guests should RSVP. The invitation should also recognise the couple's parents, if they are not the hosts.

Honoring deceased parents

Host Line

The host line is where the names of the event hosts are listed. If one of your parents has passed away, you can include them alongside your name or the name of the couple. For example:

> Lauren Martinez, daughter of Marta Martinez, and the late Robert Martinez

Deceased Parent as Host

If your deceased parent is the host, you can include their name along with the surviving parent or another relative. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Michael Francis Middleton request the honour of your company at the marriage of their daughter Catherine Elizabeth Middleton...

Honoring in the Ceremony and Reception

In addition to the invitation, you can also honor your deceased parents during the wedding ceremony and reception. Here are some ideas:

• Leave a chair open: Leave a chair open in the front rows to represent their presence and that they are watching over you.
• Light a memorial candle: Light a candle to symbolize their spirit being present with you.
• Write a message in the programs: Include a short tribute message in the wedding program, such as "In Loving Memory Of" or "Remembering."
• Carry a memento: Carry a memento of your parent with you, such as a piece of fabric or jewelry that reminds you of them.
• Moment of silence: Hold a moment of silence during the ceremony or reception to reflect on their memory.
• Display photos: Set up a table with framed photos of your loved ones, so guests can see and remember them.
• Play their favorite song: Play their favorite song during the reception to keep their memory close.
• Signature drink: Name a signature drink after your parent and include it during cocktail hour.

Recognising the hosts

Hosted by One Set of Parents

Formal invitation:

> Mr. and Mrs. Ernie Lively invite you to share in the joy of marriage uniting their daughter Blake Ellender to Ryan Rodney Saturday, the ninth of September two-thousand twelve at noon Boone Hall Mount Pleasant, South Carolina Dinner and merriment to follow

Casual invitation:

> Mr. and Mrs. Oliver Simon Peter Blunt invite you to the marriage of Emily Olivia Leah and John Burke July 10, 2010 at half past six in the evening Via Regina Teodolinda, 35 Como, Italy Food, wine, and merriment to follow

Hosted by Both Sets of Parents

Formal invitation:

> Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Adams and Mr. and Mrs. David Beckham request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children Victoria Caroline to David Robert Joseph Saturday, the fourth of July Nineteen ninety-nine at half past seven in the evening Luttrellstown Castle Clonsilla, Ireland Reception to follow.

Casual invitation:

> With great pleasure Kimberly and Jonathan Biel and Lynn Bomar Harless and Randall Timberlake invite you to celebrate the marriage of their children Jessica and Justin October 19, 2012 at four o’clock in the afternoon Borgo Egnazia Resort 72015 Savelletri di Fasano BR, Italy Dress as you wish, dine as you like, dance as you please

Hosted by the Couple

Formal invitation:

> Amal Alamuddin and George Timothy Clooney request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their marriage Saturday, 27 September 2014 at noon Aman Canal Grande Hotel in Venice, Italy Festivities to follow

Casual invitation:

> Miss Beyonce Knowles and Shawn “Jay Z” Carter are getting married Friday, April 4th, 2018 at four o'clock in the afternoon Join us for dinner and drinks

Hosted by Divorced Parents

Formal invitation:

> Mr. Angiolo Guiseppe and Ms. Elettra Rossellini invite you to share in the joy of marriage uniting their son Roberto Rossellini to Ingrid Bergman Saturday, the twenty-fourth of May nineteen fifty at noon Hotel Boca Chica, Acapulco, Mexico Dinner and merriment to follow

Casual invitation:

> Ms. Pamela Jacobsen Mr. and Mrs. Fred Jacobsen invite you to share in their wedding festivities at the marriage of their daughter Jordan to Paige Saturday, the tenth of April two thousand and twenty one at half past six in the evening Hotel Chantelle New York City, NY Dress as you wish, dine as you like, dance as you please

Hosted by Parent, Including Deceased Parent

Formal invitation:

> Mrs. and Mr. Michael Francis Middleton request the honour of your company at the marriage of their daughter Catherine Elizabeth Middleton to Prince William, Duke of Cambridge Son of Charles, Prince of Wales and the late Diana, Princess of Wales Friday, the twenty-ninth of April two thousand and eleven at eleven o’clock in the morning at Westminster Abbey – 20, Deans Yard London, England Reception to follow

Casual invitation:

> Together with their families Malaak Compton daughter of Gerald and Louisa Compton and Christopher Rock son of the late Julius Rock and Rosalie Rock invite you to share in their wedding festivities November 23, 1996 at eight o'clock in the evening The Estate at Florentine Gardens 97 Rivervale Road River Vale, New Jersey Dinner reception to follow

Hosted by Same-Sex Parents

Formal invitation:

> Mr. Michael and Mr. Sean Flannigan request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Julie Marie to Stephen Anthony Saturday, the tenth of April two thousand and twenty one at half past six in the evening Hotel Chantelle New York City, NY Reception to follow

Casual invitation:

> Ms. Jane and Ms. Courtney Lowe invite you to attend the marriage of their daughter Madison to Colton Saturday, April 10th, 2021 at half past six in the evening Allan House 1104 San Antonio Street New York City, NY Party to follow

The couple's names

For heterosexual couples, the bride's first and middle names are usually used, while the groom's first and last names are used. However, this can be adjusted to fit your personal style.

For same-sex couples, the host line may dictate whose name comes first. If one set of parents is hosting, their names will come first, followed by their child's name. If the couple is hosting, it is up to them to decide whose name is listed first.

If you are using traditional wedding invitation wording, follow these rules:

• Capitalize proper names and titles.
• Don't use punctuation, except after courtesy titles.
• Avoid abbreviations; spell everything out except courtesy titles.
• Don't spell out courtesy titles, except for "Doctor" in the case of medical doctors.

Consider using both partners' full legal names. If you prefer to go by a nickname, use it on the save-the-date or other less formal pieces of the invitation suite.

Drop the bride's and/or groom's middle names if they become too long to fit on one line.

• "Talia Camila Flores and Stephen Anthony Byrne"
• "Talia Flores and Stephen Byrne"
• "Blake Ellender Smith and Ryan Rodney"
• "Jack Alexander Smith and Mason Jacob Kim"
• "Amal Alamuddin and George Timothy Clooney"
• "Miss Beyonce Knowles and Shawn 'Jay Z' Carter"
• "Julie Marie Flannigan and Stephen Anthony"
• "Madison Lowe and Colton"

Date, time, and location

The date, time, and location of your pre-wedding events are important details that your guests will need to know. Here are some tips and suggestions for including this information in your pre-wedding invitation:

Date and Day of the Week

For formal pre-wedding invitations, it is customary to spell out the date and day of the week in full. For example, if your event is on Saturday, the twentieth of August, two thousand and twenty-four. You can also choose to use numerals for a more casual event, such as Saturday, 8/20/2024. The day of the week should be capitalized, and there should be a comma after it. When writing out the date, use a hyphen for compound dates, such as the twenty-ninth of June.

Time

When indicating the time of your pre-wedding event, it is more formal to write it out in full rather than using numerals. So, for 4:00 pm, you could write "four o'clock "in the afternoon" or simply "four o'clock." For half-past the hour, you can write "half after four o'clock" or "half past four o'clock." Avoid using "four thirty" when spelling out the time. Also, do not write "twelve o'clock"; instead, use "noon."

Location

Include the location of the pre-wedding event by providing the name of the venue and the city, state, and address if necessary. For formal invitations, include the full address, especially for out-of-town guests or if the event is at a private residence. An example would be:

> The Smith Residence

> 123 Main Street

> Anytown, CA 91234

If your event is at a well-known location, you can simply write the name without the address, such as "Brooklyn Museum of Art." If the reception is at the same location as the ceremony, you can add "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow."

Remember to proofread your invitations carefully and consider working with a stationer to ensure your invitations are clear, elegant, and free of errors.

Post-ceremony plans

The post-ceremony plans are an important part of your wedding day and can be as simple or as detailed as you like. Here are some ideas and suggestions to consider:

Reception and Dinner

If your ceremony and reception are at the same venue, a simple "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow" will suffice. If the reception is at a different location, include the full address and other pertinent information on a separate card. You may also include a dress code and other details such as "Join us after the ceremony for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and dancing."

Entertainment and Activities

If your wedding has multiple events and activities during the day or over a wedding weekend, it is helpful to include this information on your invitation. You may also include a separate details card outlining the timeline of events, especially if the events are on different days.

Gifts and Registries

Including your registry details on the invitation is not considered proper etiquette. Instead, provide guests with a link to your wedding website, where you can include this information. It is also acceptable to include this information on a separate insert card.

RSVP and Response Cards

It is customary to include RSVP cards with your invitations to give your guests a way to respond to your invitation. Include a reply-by date, which is typically three to four weeks before the wedding, and provide guests with specific instructions on how many guests they are allowed to bring and how they should respond.

Transportation and Logistics

If your wedding venue has limited parking or is in an area with limited access to transportation, consider providing transportation for your guests. You may also want to provide transportation for the wedding party and yourselves as the newlyweds.

Post-ceremony Timeline

It is helpful to provide a timeline of events for the day, especially if there are multiple activities. This can be included on a separate details card or on your wedding website.

Other Details

Other details to consider include accommodation options for out-of-town guests, directions to the venue, and any pre or post-wedding events such as a rehearsal dinner or a morning-after brunch.

Remember, your post-ceremony plans can be as detailed or as simple as you like. The most important information to include is the location and timing of the reception, and any other events or activities that will be taking place.

Frequently asked questions