Best Man's Guide: Crafting A Memorable Speech

Being the best man at a wedding is a big deal and a huge honour. It comes with a lot of responsibility and duties, including planning an epic bachelor party and giving a rousing speech. The best man's speech is one of the highlights of the wedding, and while it's just 10 minutes or so on the day, the memories of this speech will last a lifetime. It's normal to feel nervous about giving a toast in front of a crowd, but with a little forethought, planning, and a lot of practice, you'll be wowing everyone with your words in no time.

Icebreakers and jokes

The icebreaker is a crucial part of your best man's speech. It's a light-hearted joke or a well-chosen anecdote that warms up the guests and helps calm your nerves. It sets a friendly tone for what's to come. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• "I was taught by my parents that if I had nothing good to say about someone, to sit down and be quiet... (Sit down)
• "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank all of you for being here today, especially those of you who knew that I'd be saying a few words – it's very touching that you still decided to come."
• "I've been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately, last night I slept like a baby – I woke up crying every two hours."
• "I just heard there was a competitive sweepstake on how long the best man speech should last. I put my money on 45 minutes, so make yourselves comfortable"!
• "This speech won't contain anything embarrassing about the groom. Instead, I'll refer only to the kind and funny side of their character. Thank you and goodnight."
• "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of meeting me yet, my name is Chris, and I am officially Paul's second best man... Second best, ladies and gentlemen... Nobody likes to be second best, do they? Well, Paul, looking at his career, he should know better than most..."
• "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Over the next few minutes, we'll be talking about the man for whom Scottish Independence now means asking his English wife if he can go to the pub at the weekend. I can't help but think that an English woman telling a Scottish man he can't go to the pub would be a new low in this country's rich cultural history."
• "Over the next few minutes, I'll be taking you on the rollercoaster ride that has been Sean's life so far, and there are some amazing stories. Like the time he was playing A ball with David Cameron in Mexico, and his dog ate the Prime Minister's guinea pig, and he had to sell my passport to repair his nose... Actually, I've known Sean for 30 years... I might have muddled a few things up there."
• "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I would just like to take this opportunity to introduce myself to those of you I haven't yet met. My name is Dave, and this is Bob, and together it is our very great pleasure and privilege to be Colin's best men for today's celebrations."
• "Hello everyone! For those of you who don't know me, thank you so much for coming to my wedding. [Pause for laughter] Sorry about that... I'm a little nervous."
• "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to begin by expressing my deepest gratitude to the couple's parents for raising such amazing people, whom I'm fortunate to call my best friends. I would also like to thank their parents for hosting such an awesome celebration for us all to enjoy this evening."
• "I know I said earlier I'm the best man, but I lied. I'm actually Cupid because I'm the one who introduced these two eight years ago."
• "As the poet, Dante, once said, 'A great flame follows a little spark.' When [Groom] met [Spouse], there was a little spark. I know because I talked to him the next day. You two are fantastic together. May the flame burn long, and may sparks continue to fly. Cheers to the newlyweds!"
• "Hello! For those who don't know me, I'm [Your Name], the best man. I've known [Groom] since middle school, which means that was before we learned mullets weren't a good look for either of us."
• "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to begin by congratulating the groom for his superb taste in choosing the best man [chuckle]."
• "Ben was the self-proclaimed organization king in college. As his roommate, I feared leaving a pen on the desk."
• "My favorite thing about the groom is his..."
• "Tonight, you'll learn why the groom was always..."
• "My favorite story about the groom starts with a greasy cheeseburger and a speeding ticket."
• "Caring, loyal, honest, good-looking, and an all-around great guy... OK, enough about me, onto the groom..."
• "This is the perfect chance to tell you about [Groom] and how talented, special, smart, good-looking, and... sorry, man, I can't read your handwriting here."
• "I'd like to give a toast to the bride and groom." [Pull a piece of toasted bread from your pocket and give it to them]
• "[Groom's name] is the kind of person you call when you lock yourself out of the dorm bathroom without any clothes on."
• "The bride and groom asked me not to share embarrassing stories or crude jokes during my speech... So that's it from me! Thanks for listening, everyone."
• "I'd like to start by congratulating the groom for his excellent taste in choosing the best man."
• "[Groom] had a tough time choosing his best man. First, he called his most handsome friend, but he said no. Then, he called his smartest friend, and he said no. Then, he called his most successful friend, who also said no. Then he called me, and I said, 'Bro, I can't say no to you four times.'"
• "What can I say about [Groom]? I guess I'll start at the very beginning. He was born on [Groom's birthday]. Our parents were hoping for a girl, but I've always said... close enough."
• "There are friends, and there is family, but friends also become family. This is so true for [Groom] and me. We've been best friends since we were X years old, and I've always considered him my brother."
• "There's an old Irish proverb that says a good friend is like a four-leaf clover—hard to find and lucky to have. I think that's true. Good friends are hard to find, and I'm lucky to have called [Groom] my best friend for the last X years."
• "In Good Will Hunting, Robin Williams said, 'It doesn't matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect as long as they are perfect for each other.' Anyone who has seen [Groom] and [Bride] together can agree that this is true for them. I haven't seen a perfect pair, and I'm happy to be part of this celebration of their love."

Introducing yourself

The first thing to do when giving a best man speech is to introduce yourself. This is your chance to break the ice and warm up the guests. You can start by sharing your name and how you know the groom. For example:

> "Welcome everyone, my name is [Your Name]. And I've known [Groom's Name] since we were kids. [Groom's Name] hates it when I take all the attention away from him, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of the speech."

> "Hello everyone, I'm [Your Name] and I've been best friends with [Groom's Name] for the past 15 years. For those of you that already know me – I apologise – for those that don't, don't listen to any of the rumours!"

> "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for those of you I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet, my name is Chris and I am officially Paul's second best man... second best, ladies and gentlemen... nobody likes to be second best, do they? Well, Paul, looking at his career, he should know better than most... anyway, where were we?"

It's important to keep this part light and fun, and you can even throw in some observations about the day or a spontaneous joke. For instance, you could comment on the groom's appearance or make a light-hearted remark about the venue or the cake.

How You Know the Groom

After your introduction, take some time to talk about your relationship with the groom. Share how you met, how long you've known each other, and what kind of friend he is to you. If you can, include a funny story or anecdote that sums up his personality. For example:

> "I first met [Groom's Name] in college while working at a pizza joint called Domenica's. I hated being a server, but whenever we were scheduled together, it made it so much more bearable. We laughed until we cried, ate hundreds of garlic knots, and I can't tell you the amount of times we accidentally got pizza dough stuck to the ceiling during our pizza toss competitions."

> "I first met Nick way back in 1994 when we started secondary school together. Little did we know it at the time, but it was the start of a beautiful relationship, which, for me, EVENTUALLY proved worth pursuing years later when I was able to borrow all his notes and pass my A Levels."

> "I first met Brent when we attended the University of Texas and pledged a fraternity together. It was here amongst the upside-down beer bongs, ritual humiliation, and complete lack of sleep that I knew I had met a friend for life."

Remember, this is your chance to establish your connection with the groom for everyone in the room, especially those who may not know you well.

Reading out messages

You could also put in some fake messages that will bring a laugh from the guests. For example, you could say that Channing Tatum sends his apologies for not being able to make it, or that the police need the groom to come in for a new statement about the stag do.

If you want to get creative, you could even include a message from an old boss or teacher asking where their invitation is.

This part of the speech is a great opportunity to add a unique and humorous twist, so feel free to have some fun with it!

Sharing anecdotes

Choose the Right Anecdotes:

Select stories that are funny, lighthearted, and appropriate for all ages. Avoid inappropriate or embarrassing tales, especially those involving exes or risky behaviour. Opt for anecdotes that showcase the groom's positive traits and, if possible, link them to his partner. For instance, you could share a story about the groom's forgetfulness and then transition to a moment where his partner's organisational skills came to the rescue.

Provide Sensory Details:

Make your anecdotes vivid and engaging by including sensory details like sights, sounds, smells, and tastes. For example, "The smell of burnt popcorn filled our dorm room as Jordan attempted to 'cook' for the first time." This approach will help your audience visualise the story and feel like they were there with you.

Include Audience Interaction:

Bring your stories to life by interacting with the audience. You can say things like, "Mom, you might want to cover your ears for this one!" or "Brian, this next part is all about you!" This technique will make your speech more dynamic and ensure that your guests feel involved.

Keep it Concise:

While you want to provide enough detail to paint a picture, be mindful of the length of your anecdotes. Aim for a balance between providing sensory details and keeping the story concise. You don't want to lose your audience's attention by rambling on for too long.

Practice and Time Your Stories:

Before the wedding, practice telling your anecdotes to friends or family members. Time yourself to ensure that your stories fit within the overall time limit for your speech. This practice will help you refine your delivery and make any necessary adjustments.

Example Anecdotes:

• "I first met John when we were kids. He always had the eggs and toilet paper ready for our neighbourhood pranks, and he'd instruct me on where to throw them. But guess who always took the blame for his antics? Yours truly!"
• "One time, John and I went hunting, and just as a shark was about to bite the line, he reeled in a massive bluefin. He looked at me and yelled, 'I think we're gonna need a bigger boat!'"
• "John and I were roommates in college. We'd often meet at 6 a.m. at the corner coffee shop, Bob's Cup O' Joe, for our double shot espressos. Our eyes would be wide open like this [widen eyes], and we knew we were in it for the long haul. Years later, he met his future wife, Anne, at the same coffee shop."

Offering advice and compliments

Structure and Content:

Begin by expressing your sincere appreciation for the groom and highlighting his positive qualities. Share some words of wisdom or light-hearted advice for the newlyweds, drawing from your own experiences or seeking input from married friends or family. If you're not married, you can offer fun tips from others or even famous couples from movies or TV shows.

Examples:

"I want to take a moment to express my admiration for my friend here. John, you are one of the most loyal and generous people I know. Your unwavering support has meant the world to me over the years. To the happy couple, my advice is to always make time for each other, even when life gets busy. Nurture your love and friendship, and never go to bed angry."

"I'd like to raise a toast to the groom, my brother, Mark. Mark, your kindness and sense of humour have always been a source of strength for those around you. To you and your beautiful bride, I offer this advice: always communicate openly and honestly with each other. Learn to compromise and be each other's biggest supporters. May your love continue to grow and inspire those around you."

"It's an honour to stand here as Sam's best man. Sam, your unwavering optimism and selflessness have impacted so many lives, including mine. To you and your partner, I wish you all the best. Remember to always prioritise your relationship, make time for date nights, and never lose your sense of adventure. May your love continue to flourish and bring you endless joy."

Remember to keep your advice and compliments sincere and heartfelt. This part of the speech is an opportunity to showcase your friendship and offer your well-wishes for the couple's future.

Frequently asked questions