Etiquette Guide: Wedding Gifts And Invites

Wedding invitation wording can be a minefield, but it's important to get it right to ensure your guests have all the information they need. While it's considered rude to include gift details on the invitation itself, it's helpful to include some information about gifts with your invitation. This could be in the form of a separate gift card or a line or two on your information card. If you have a gift registry or honeymoon fund, you'll need to include the details in your invitations, but be mindful of how you word this. A simple option is to say something along the lines of: Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but if you wish to give us something, we'd be grateful for a contribution to our honeymoon.

Including a separate gift card with your invitation

If you're wondering how to politely ask for gifts, it's worth noting that every wedding guest will expect to give a gift to celebrate your marriage. However, asking for a gift might seem a little awkward. Help your guests out by including some information with your invitation on your gift registry or wishing well.

It's considered tacky or rude to include these details on your invitation, so it's best to include this information on a separate gift card or a line or two on your information card. Here are some tips on what to include:

• Tell your guests how important they are to you and how your main priority is that they attend your special day.
• Let your guests know your gift preference. You can include a separate gift card or gift message as part of your information card.
• Let your guests know what you'll be using their gift for. For example, you could say: "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a contribution to our honeymoon would help to create memories that will last a lifetime. A wishing well will be available on the day."
• Provide a well-placed and labelled box at the reception to collect all of your cards/gifts.
• Send your guests a note of appreciation for their attendance and gifts. This will also serve as a lovely reminder of your big day.

If you have a gift registry or honeymoon fund, you'll need to include the details in your invitations for your guests. Here are some examples:

• "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a list [of gift suggestions] has been registered with [store name or address]."
• "We look forward to your presence on our special day. We do nonetheless realise that some of you may wish to give us a wedding gift to commemorate our union together. After having lived on our own, we have all of the household items we need. However, for those of you who would like to give us a gift, we will have a wishing well at our reception that will go towards our future together."

If you don't want any gifts, you can simply omit gift details from the invitation. Or, you can include a simple line such as "Your presence is present enough".

Adding a line or two about gifts on your information card

Traditionally, wedding guests give gifts to the couple to help them start their new life together. However, times have changed, and many couples now live together before marriage and may already have everything they need for their home. If you have a gift registry or honeymoon fund, you can include the details in your invitations. Here are some examples of what to include on your information card:

"Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a list [of gift suggestions] has been registered with [store name or address]."

If you have a wishing well, you can write:

"Your love, laughter, and company on our wedding day are the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to help us celebrate with a gift, a wishing well will be provided."

If you are saving up for a new home or your honeymoon, you can mention this:

"Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a contribution to our honeymoon would help to create memories that will last a lifetime. A wishing well will be available on the day."

If you do not want any gifts, you can simply omit gift details from the invitation or include a line such as "Your presence is present enough".

Letting guests know how you'll use their gift

It is becoming more common for couples to request money instead of gifts, especially if they have lived together before getting married and already have everything they need for their home. Here are some ways to let your guests know how you'll use their gift:

"Your love, laughter and company on our wedding day is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to help us celebrate with a gift, a wishing well will be provided on the day."

"We look forward to your presence on our special day. We do, nonetheless, realise that some of you may wish to give us a wedding gift to commemorate our union together. After having lived on our own, we have all the household items we need. However, for those of you who would like to give us a gift, we will have a wishing well at our reception that will go towards our future together."

If you are planning to put the gifts towards a honeymoon, it is nice to mention this in your invitation:

"Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a contribution to our honeymoon would help to create memories that will last a lifetime. A wishing well will be available on the day."

If you are saving for a house, you could say:

"Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a contribution to our house deposit would be greatly appreciated. A wishing well will be available on the day."

If you don't want to include an extra card with your invitation, you could include a simple line such as:

"Your presence is present enough."

Providing a labelled box for cards/gifts at the reception

It is customary for wedding guests to bring gifts for the newlyweds to help them start their new life together. However, it can be awkward to ask for gifts directly. Here are some tips for including gift information in your wedding invitations:

• Include a separate gift card or a gift message on your information card: This can be considered less tacky or rude than putting gift details on the invitation itself. You can briefly explain your gift preferences and how you intend to use the gifts, such as for your honeymoon or a new home.
• Provide a well-placed and labelled box at the reception: This makes it convenient for guests to leave their gifts or cards, ensuring nothing gets lost.
• Send thank-you notes: Expressing appreciation for your guests' attendance and gifts is a thoughtful way to show gratitude and remind them of your special day.

If you have a gift registry or honeymoon fund:

Include the relevant details in your invitations: Provide the store name, website, address, or any necessary codes or references. This ensures your guests know where to find your registry.

If you prefer a monetary gift or a contribution to a wishing well:

Communicate this preference in your invitation: You can word it as, "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to help us celebrate with a gift, a wishing well will be provided on the day."

If you do not want any gifts:

• Omit gift details from the invitation: This approach is especially appropriate if your wedding location requires guests to travel or incur accommodation expenses. You can also include a line such as, "Your presence is present enough."
• Proofread thoroughly: It is essential to have multiple people review your invitation wording to catch any errors or inconsistencies.
• Be clear about who is invited: Specify whether children are included or if adults are coming without plus ones. This can be indicated on the invitation wording or envelope.
• Include practical details: Provide information about the dress code, accommodation options, and any unique aspects of the venue, such as parking instructions or venue-specific restrictions.

Remember, the most important aspect is to create a beautiful wedding invitation that represents you and your partner while effectively communicating the vital details of your special day.

Sending a thank-you note for gifts and attendance

Timing is Important

It is essential to send thank-you notes in a timely manner. Aim to send them within a few weeks of receiving the gift or, at the latest, a month after your wedding. Express gratitude for their attendance and mention any gifts they may have given you. Sending a prompt thank-you note shows your guests that you appreciate their presence and their gift.

Personalize Each Note

Take the time to write personalized messages for each guest. Mention their names, thank them for their specific gift, and express how you will use and cherish it. For example, "Dear Aunt Susan, Thank you so much for the beautiful crystal vase. It will be a cherished addition to our dining table, and we will think of you every time we use it. Love, Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

Mention Their Presence

In addition to thanking them for their gift, express gratitude for their presence at your wedding. Mention how happy you were to have them celebrate with you and how much their presence added to your special day. For example, "It meant so much to us that you were able to join us on our wedding day. We hope you had a wonderful time."

Be Sincere and Specific

When thanking your guests for their gifts, be sincere and specific about your appreciation. Mention how the gift will be used or how it made you feel. For example, "The ceramic bowl you gave us will be a lovely centrepiece on our coffee table, reminding us of your kindness every day."

Don't Forget to Mention Cash Gifts

If you received monetary gifts or contributions to your honeymoon or a house fund, be sure to mention them specifically. Thank your guests for their generosity and let them know how you plan to use the money. For example, "Thank you so much for your generous contribution to our honeymoon fund. We are excited to use it for a romantic dinner on the beach during our trip to Bali."

Include a Memory or Shared Experience

Adding a personal touch to your thank-you notes can make them even more meaningful. Include a shared memory or experience from the wedding that you think the guest will appreciate. For example, "It was so much fun dancing with you at the reception. We loved seeing you let loose on the dance floor!"

Remember, your guests took the time to celebrate with you and chose gifts especially for you, so take the time to express your gratitude sincerely and thoughtfully.

Frequently asked questions