Wedding Invite Etiquette: Deceased Parent's Name Inclusion

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's essential to consider the role of the deceased parent. While it's acceptable to include a deceased parent's name on the invitation, it shouldn't appear as if they are sending it. This can be resolved by having the invitation issued by the couple or by using traditional wording that mentions the parents without implying they are hosting. For instance, Together with their families, [couple's names] request the honour of your presence at their marriage. This way, both the living and deceased parents can be acknowledged without implying hosting.

However, some believe that the invitation is not the appropriate place to mention deceased parents and suggest honouring them through other means, such as a loving tribute in the wedding program, a poem or reading recited in memory, or a meaningful song played at the reception.

Including a deceased parent on a wedding invitation

Wording and Formatting:

The key consideration when including a deceased parent on a wedding invitation is to ensure that it does not appear as if the invitation is being sent by the deceased parent. Here are two common options for wording the invitation:

• Issued by the Couple: The invitation can be issued by the couple, along with their families. For example: "Together with their families, Jennifer Drake, daughter of John Drake and the late Barbara Drake, and Brian Connors, son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Connors, request the honour of your presence at their marriage."
• Traditional Wording: You can opt for traditional wording that focuses on the couple being requested the honour of your presence. For example: "The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Jennifer Drake, daughter of John Drake and the late Barbara Drake, to Brian Connors, son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Connors."

Honouring the Deceased Parent:

Including a deceased parent on the invitation is just one way to honour their memory. Here are some additional ideas:

• Loving Tribute in the Wedding Program: You can include a special message, poem, or reading dedicated to the deceased parent in the wedding program.
• Meaningful Song: Play a song that was special to you and your deceased parent during the reception.
• Memory Table: Set up a memory table at the reception with photos and mementos of the deceased parent.
• Candle in Their Memory: Include a candle lighting ceremony or a candle in memory of the deceased parent during the wedding ceremony.

Handling Multiple Names:

If you have multiple names to include, such as step-parents or other deceased relatives, here are some tips:

• Listing Multiple Parents: You can list both your parent and step-parent by using "and" or "and the late" to separate their names. For example: "Jennifer Drake, daughter of John Drake and the late Barbara Drake and Jane Smith."
• Together with Their Families: If you have many names to include or prefer a simpler approach, you can use the phrase "Together with their families" to include all loved ones without listing individual names.

Deceased Parent as Host:

If the deceased parent is the host of the wedding, you can still include them on the invitation with a slight modification:

Host Acknowledgement: Instead of requesting the honour of your presence, you can acknowledge the host by stating, "Hosted by the late Mr. and Mrs. Smith, you are invited to share in the joy of the marriage of their daughter, Jennifer, to Mr. Brian Connors."

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to including a deceased parent on a wedding invitation. Use these examples as a guide, and feel free to personalise the wording to honour your loved one in a way that feels most meaningful to you.

Wording and formatting

If you want to include your deceased parent on your wedding invitation, there are a few ways to do so. Here are some examples of how to word and format the invitation to honour your late parent:

Traditional wording

The traditional wording format for wedding invitations typically includes the names of the bride's parents, followed by the groom's parents. However, if one or both of your parents are deceased, you can modify the wording to honour them. Here's an example:

> The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Jennifer Drake, daughter of John Drake and the late Barbara Drake, to Brian Connors, son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Connors.

In this example, the bride's late mother is included in the invitation, followed by "the late" to indicate that she is deceased. This format can be adjusted if you need to include other family members, such as step-parents or grandparents.

Modern wording

If you prefer a more modern approach, you can use a format that highlights the couple and their families:

> Together with their families, Jennifer Drake, daughter of John Drake and the late Barbara Drake, and Brian Connors, son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Connors, request the honour of your presence at their marriage.

This format allows you to include both the bride's and groom's families, regardless of their marital status or whether they are living or deceased.

Honouring without hosting

It's important to note that the invitation should not appear to be sent by the deceased parent. Instead, you can include their name as part of the couple's family. Here's an example:

> The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of

> Daughter of the late G and D (Last Name)

> Son of Mr. and Mrs. R (Last Name)

> Two thousand fifteen

> At half after five o'clock

In this example, the bride's late parents are mentioned, but it is clear that the invitation is not coming from them.

Including step-parents

If you have a step-parent and a parent who has passed away, you can include both on the invitation. Here's an example:

> Moira and Alistair Schiller request the honour of your presence at the marriage of her and the late Porter Blackman's daughter on Saturday, the twenty-first of July, two thousand and twenty-six, at six o'clock in the evening.

Honouring in other ways

If you prefer not to include your deceased parent on the invitation, there are other ways to honour their memory during your wedding. Consider including a loving tribute in the wedding program, reciting a poem or reading in their honour, or playing a meaningful song at the reception.

Honouring a deceased parent in other ways

It is completely natural to feel the loss of a parent on your wedding day and there are many ways to honour their memory. Here are some ideas for how to do this:

• Wear a memento of them – perhaps a piece of their jewellery, a handkerchief, or a pocket square.
• Carry a photo of them – you could place their photo in a small frame and pin it to your outfit, or add it as a charm tied to your bouquet.
• Wear their favourite scent – wearing their favourite perfume or aftershave is a unique way to feel close to them.
• Wear their favourite flowers – ask your florist to incorporate their favourite flowers into your bouquet or buttonhole.
• Add a patch to your attire – use a piece of fabric that reminds you of them, or get a heart-shaped patch made from their t-shirt.
• Display a framed picture or portrait – hire an artist to create a portrait, or frame a favourite photo to display at the ceremony.
• Add a hidden message to your outfit – bridal boutiques can help you include a message or small picture on your outfit.
• Incorporate their favourite colours – use their favourite colours in your wedding colour palette.
• Play their favourite song – play it when you're greeting guests, or get the band to announce that the song is dedicated to them.
• Incorporate their favourite drink – serve a drink you know they would have enjoyed, or offer a signature cocktail.
• Give a wedding favour in their honour – offer jars of their favourite sweets, or miniature bottles of their favourite drink.
• Donate to a charity – in lieu of gifts, set up a cash fund to raise money for a charity they would have supported.
• Share a sentimental recipe – if they loved to cook, serve some of their award-winning cookies or a signature dish.
• Display family photos and heirlooms – showcase their favourite belongings, such as a desk, to display photos and flowers.
• Reserve a seat for them at the ceremony – dress a chair with a photo of them, or a bouquet of flowers.
• Light a memorial candle – light a candle at the start of the ceremony to represent their spirit being present.
• Write a message in the programs – print a short tribute, such as "In loving memory of [name]".
• Visit their grave – pay them a visit before or after the wedding and share your joy with them.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to honour a deceased parent at your wedding. Do whatever brings you the most comfort and feels appropriate for you.

Including a deceased parent when the living parent has remarried

Including a deceased parent on a wedding invitation can be a thoughtful way to honour their memory on your special day. Here are some suggestions for how to do this when the living parent has remarried:

Traditional Wording

If you want to stick to tradition, the invitation can be issued by the living parent and their new spouse. In this case, the invitation might read:

> [Living Parent's Name] and [Step-parent's Name]

> request the honour of your presence

> at the marriage of [their/her] daughter

> [Daughter's Name],

> child of [Deceased Parent's Name] and [Living Parent's Name]

> to [Partner's Name]

Modern Wording

A more modern approach is to issue the invitation from the couple themselves, along with their families. This option might be preferred if the step-parent has not played a significant role in the bride or groom's life. The wording could be:

> Together with their families,

> [Daughter's Name], daughter of [Living Parent's Name] and the late [Deceased Parent's Name]

> and [Partner's Name], son of [Partner's Parents' Names]

> request the honour of your presence at their marriage

Other Considerations

If the deceased parent passed away a long time ago or the couple would prefer not to mention the step-parent, the invitation can simply be issued from the living parent, without mentioning the step-parent at all. For example:

> [Living Parent's Name]

> requests the honour of your presence

> at the marriage of her daughter

> [Daughter's Name]

> child of [Living Parent's Name] and the late [Deceased Parent's Name]

> to [Partner's Name]

Remember, it is also perfectly acceptable to omit the deceased parent from the invitation altogether and find other ways to honour their memory during the wedding ceremony or reception. Some ideas include lighting a memorial candle, reserving them a seat, including a tribute in the wedding program, or giving a toast in their honour.

The role of the deceased parent in hosting the wedding

When a parent has passed away, the wedding couple may want to find special ways to honour their memory on their wedding day. One way to do this is to include their name on the wedding invitation. However, it is important to note that the invitation should not appear to be sent by the deceased parent. There are a few ways to word the invitation to include them appropriately.

If the bride's parent has passed away, the invitation can be issued by the couple and read:

> Together with their families, [Bride's name], daughter of [Father's name] and the late [Mother's name], and [Groom's name], son of [Groom's parents' names] request the honour of your presence at their marriage, etc.

Or, for more traditional wording:

> The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of [Bride's name], daughter of [Father's name] and the late [Mother's name], to [Groom's name], son of [Groom's parents' names], etc.

If the groom's parent has passed away, the invitation wording changes slightly:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's parents' names]

> Mrs. [Groom's mother's name] and the late [Groom's father's name]

> request the honour of your presence

> at the marriage of their children

> on [date]

> at [time]

> [location]

If only one parent has passed away, it is also acceptable not to include them on the wedding invitation. Here is an example of wording for an invitation from one parent:

> Mrs. [Mother's name]

> requests the honour of your presence

> at the marriage of her daughter

> [Bride's name]

> on [date]

> at [time]

> [location]

It is also possible to include both a step-parent and a parent who has passed away on the invitation:

> [Step-father's name] and [Mother's name]

> request the honour of your presence

> at the marriage of her

> and the late [Father's name]'s daughter

> on [date]

> at [time]

> [location]

Ultimately, the couple should go with their heart when considering how to include a deceased parent on their wedding invitation. Their guests will appreciate the sentiment, and the parent's memory will be honoured.

Frequently asked questions