No Bridesmaids? Here's What You Can Do

More and more couples are choosing to design their weddings to fit their personalities, rather than sticking to tradition. One way this is manifesting is in the decision to not have a bridal party. There are many reasons for this, from budget and stress to not wanting to leave loved ones out or simply wanting a more casual vibe. If you're considering forgoing bridesmaids, it's important to be mindful of your friends' and family members' feelings and let them know about your decision in a thoughtful way. However, there are still plenty of ways to involve your nearest and dearest in your celebration.

Delegate duties to family members or friends, such as holding the bouquet or rings

If you're worried about who will hold your bouquet or rings on your big day, there are plenty of ways to delegate these duties to family members or friends without having to appoint bridesmaids. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Ring Bearer

While the traditional role of ring bearer is typically given to a young child, there's no reason why you can't ask a close friend or family member to take on this role instead. They will be responsible for carrying your wedding bands during the ceremony and approaching the altar when it's time for the ring exchange. This is a great way to involve someone special in your wedding without giving them the full responsibilities of a groomsman or bridesmaid.

Flower Person

Similarly, the role of flower girl is usually given to a young girl, but there's no rule saying that an adult friend or family member can't take on this duty. They can walk down the aisle with the ring bearer, adding a touch of fun and tradition to your ceremony.

Usher

If you have friends or family members who are outgoing and organised, why not ask them to be ushers? They can help greet guests, distribute programs, and show people to their seats. This is a great way to involve people who might not be comfortable with more prominent roles, and it's a role that is often given to friends and family outside of the bridal party.

Personal Attendant

The role of a personal attendant is to assist the bride on the day of the wedding and sometimes with pre-planning. This role is perfect for a friend or family member who you are close to but who isn't part of the bridal party. They can still be included in many of the festivities, such as the bachelorette party and getting ready with the bride.

Guest Book Attendant

Another role that is perfect for a detail-oriented friend or family member is that of guest book attendant. They will oversee the guest book, ensuring that people sign it and that cards and gifts are placed in the correct place. This role can be easily combined with other duties, such as greeting guests or distributing programs.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love with the people who matter most to you. Don't be afraid to get creative and delegate duties in a way that feels true to you and your partner.

Include loved ones in the ceremony by asking them to perform a reading or poem

If you want to include your loved ones in your wedding ceremony, a great way to do so is by asking them to perform a reading or poem. This can be a wonderful way to involve your nearest and dearest in your special day. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Religious Readings

If you are having a religious ceremony, you could ask your loved one to read a passage from a religious text, such as the Bible, Torah, Quran, or a Buddhist prayer. For example, you could ask them to read Ruth 1:16-17 from the Bible:

> "But Ruth replied, 'Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.'"

Poems

You could ask your loved one to read a poem that is meaningful to you as a couple. This could be a well-known poem, such as a Shakespeare sonnet, or something more modern. For example, you could ask them to read "Love's Philosophy" by Percy Bysshe Shelley:

> "The fountains mingle with the river,

> And the rivers with the ocean;

> The winds of heaven mix forever

> With a sweet emotion;

> Nothing in the world is single:

> All things by a law divine

> In another's being mingle—

> Why not I with thine?"

Excerpts from Literature

If you are bookworms, why not ask your loved one to read an excerpt from a novel that is special to you? This could be a romantic passage from a classic work of literature, such as Charlotte Brontë's "Jane Eyre":

> "I have for the first time found what I can truly love—I have found you. You are my sympathy—my better self—my good angel—I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely; a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wrap my existence about you—and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one."

Alternatively, you could choose something from a more contemporary novel, such as "Daisy Jones & The Six" by Taylor Jenkins Reid:

> "Loving somebody isn't perfection and good times and laughing and making love. Love is forgiveness and patience and faith and every once in a while, it's a gut punch. That's why it's a dangerous thing, when you go loving the wrong person. When you love somebody who doesn't deserve it. You have to be with someone that deserves your faith and you have to be deserving of someone else's. It's sacred."

Song Lyrics

Music is a wonderful way to evoke emotion, so why not ask your loved one to read out the lyrics to a song that is meaningful to you? This could be something classic, such as "Love Me Tender" by Elvis Presley:

> "Love me tender, love me sweet,

> Never let me go;

> You have made my life complete,

> And I love you so, love me tender, love me true,

> All my dreams fulfill;

> For my darling I love you,

> And I always will."

Or something more modern, such as "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake:

> "''Cause I don't wanna lose you now, I'm looking right at the other half of me. The vacancy that sat in my heart, is a space that now you hold. Show me how to fight for now, and I'll tell you, baby, it was easy, coming back into you once I figured it out. You were right here all along. It's like you're my mirror. My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me."

Film and TV Quotes

If you are movie buffs, you could ask your loved one to read a quote from a film or TV show that is special to you. This could be something classic, such as a quote from "When Harry Met Sally":

> "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Or something more modern, such as a quote from "Grey's Anatomy":

> "Today's the day my life begins. All my life I've been just me, just a smart mouth kid. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you. Izzie Stevens, our life together begins. And I for one can't wait."

Get ready with your friends and offer to pay for their hair and makeup

If you're wondering what to do if you don't have bridesmaids, there are still ways to involve your closest friends and family members in your wedding celebration. Here are some ideas for how you can get ready with your friends and offer to pay for their hair and makeup:

Getting Ready with Friends:

• Invite your friends to join you in the bridal suite: You can still enjoy the experience of getting ready for your wedding with your closest friends by your side. Invite them to join you as you prepare for your special day. It can be a fun and memorable experience for all involved.
• Offer to pay for their hair and makeup: Traditionally, the bride is expected to cover the hair and makeup costs for her bridal party. This includes any trial appointments, touch-ups, and additional styling needed during the wedding festivities. If your budget allows, you can offer to pay for these services for your friends. It is a thoughtful way to thank them for their support and make them feel valued.
• Provide options for hair and makeup services: If you are unable to cover the full cost, you can still help your friends by recommending hair and makeup artists or salons they can use. You can even book these professionals to come to your location, providing convenience and an opportunity for everyone to get ready together.
• Consider covering a portion of the costs: If you want to contribute but cannot afford the full amount, you can offer to pay for a percentage of the services. For example, you could cover the cost of their makeup, and they can take care of their hair styling. This way, you can express your appreciation without breaking the bank.
• Communicate openly: Be upfront with your friends about any financial expectations. Let them know that getting their hair and makeup done professionally is optional and that they are not required to do so. Give them the details of the costs involved and any deadlines for making decisions to help them plan accordingly.

Other Ways to Include Friends:

In addition to getting ready together, here are some extra ideas to make your friends feel special and involved:

• Take a special photo: Arrange with your photographer to capture some special set photographs beyond family groupings. Include your friends in these shots to make them feel valued and create lasting memories. Be sure to send them copies of the pictures after the wedding, along with a personal note.
• Invite them to a special dinner or day out: Traditionally, the bridal party is included in the rehearsal dinner. Even if you don't have a formal bridal party, you can still invite your nearest and dearest friends to join you for dinner, a bridal brunch, or a fun day out before the wedding.
• Delegate duties: Reassign some traditional bridesmaid duties to your friends. For example, you could ask them to hold your bouquet during the vows, perform a reading or poem during the ceremony, or help with a unity candle lighting. They can also plan your bachelorette party or be witnesses at the wedding.

Remember, it's your wedding, and you can personalise it to suit your vision. Involving your friends in these suggested ways can make them feel included and loved, even if they are not officially part of the bridal party.

Take special photos with friends and family to make them feel included

If you're choosing not to have bridesmaids at your wedding, there are still plenty of ways to make your closest friends and family members feel important and included. Taking special photos with your loved ones is a great way to make them feel valued and involved in your special day. Here are some ideas to help you capture these memorable moments:

Plan a Photo Session:

Before the ceremony, plan a dedicated photo session with your friends and family. This will ensure you have enough time to capture these special moments without rushing. Inform your photographer about this request in advance so they can guide and capture these moments for you.

Include a Variety of Groupings:

Take photos with individuals and various groups of friends and family. This could include your group of close girlfriends, your siblings, parents, grandparents, cousins, or anyone else who holds a special place in your life. Consider creating a list of specific groupings and must-have shots in advance and share it with your photographer to ensure everyone is included.

Capture Getting-Ready Moments:

Invite your friends and family to join you while you're getting ready. These candid moments of you and your loved ones sharing a special experience together can make for beautiful, heartfelt photos. Moments such as your mom or sibling helping you get dressed, doing your makeup together, or simply enjoying a glass of champagne can be captured to commemorate the day.

Incorporate Fun and Personalised Elements:

Add a personal touch to your photos by incorporating inside jokes, fun props, or meaningful items. These elements will make your photos unique and memorable. Inform your photographer about any specific jokes or items in advance so they can be sure to capture them.

Take Photos Beyond the Wedding Venue:

Consider taking photos in multiple locations, including the bridal suite, a photogenic space around the venue, or even a special day-out location. Changing up the backdrop will add variety to your photos and create a well-rounded collection of memories.

Share the Photos with Your Loved Ones:

After the wedding, take the time to share the photos with those who appeared in them. This can be done through social media platforms, creating a personalised website or album, or even by sending prints or thank-you cards with the photos to your loved ones. This will allow them to relive the memories and feel appreciated.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and the people who matter to you. By taking these special photos, you can ensure that your friends and family feel included and valued, even without the traditional bridal party roles.

Invite your nearest and dearest to a special dinner or day out

If you're not having bridesmaids at your wedding, you might be concerned about how to involve your nearest and dearest in your celebration. One way to do this is to invite them to a special dinner or day out.

Traditionally, your bridal party would be included in the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. However, you can still invite your nearest and dearest to a special dinner, where they can give speeches. Or, you could make it less formal, like a wedding morning brunch or a day out before the wedding. This way, you can still include your closest friends and family in your celebration without having a bridal party.

If you're worried about how to delegate traditional duties, such as holding the bouquet or the rings, you can ask a close friend or family member to take on these tasks. For example, you could ask your sister or mother to hold your bouquet during the vows or entrust the officiant with the rings.

It's important to communicate your plans and expectations clearly to your loved ones, especially if they are used to more traditional wedding celebrations. Let them know how much you love and appreciate them, and that you want them to be a part of your special day, even if they are not officially part of the bridal party.

By inviting your nearest and dearest to a special dinner or day out, you can create a more intimate and personalised celebration that includes your closest friends and family.

Frequently asked questions