Bridesmaids' Expenses: Who Pays For What?

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of financial commitments. While there are no steadfast rules, there are certain costs that you can almost always expect to come along with the commitment. These include the bridesmaid dress and accessories, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, travel and accommodation, and wedding day hair and makeup. It's important to have honest and transparent conversations about money to ensure everyone is on the same page and to avoid any misunderstandings or resentment.

Bridesmaid dresses and accessories

Who Pays for What?

The bride usually decides what the bridesmaids will wear, and it's customary for the bridesmaids to pay for their outfits, including dresses, shoes, and accessories. However, it's important to be mindful of budgets and offer flexible options to ensure everyone is comfortable with the costs.

Dresses

When choosing bridesmaid dresses, it's considerate to keep everyone's budget in mind. Discuss a budget with your bridesmaids before making any selections. While some may have a couple of hundred dollars to spend, others might only be able to afford $70. Opting for a mismatched look within a specific colour palette allows bridesmaids to shop within their preferred price ranges.

Accessories

If you're envisioning specific accessories, try to give direction without being overly selective or controlling. For example, you could suggest an earring style or shoe colour without mandating an exact match.

Hair and Makeup

If the bride requests that everyone has their hair and makeup professionally done, it's customary for her to cover the cost. However, if it's optional, bridesmaids can choose to pay for these services themselves. Offering a dedicated space for those who opt to do their hair and makeup themselves ensures they feel included in the preparations.

Travel and Accommodations

Bridesmaids typically cover their travel and lodging expenses for the wedding and related events, such as the bachelorette party. However, it's considerate for the bride to check for special rates at the designated wedding hotel or contribute a percentage towards their bookings.

Gifts

While it's customary for bridesmaids to purchase a wedding gift, there's no pressure or expectation for them to spend more if they've already incurred significant expenses for the wedding. A small, non-obligatory gift is perfectly acceptable.

Bachelorette Party

The bachelorette party is usually organised and paid for by the MOH and bridesmaids. However, it's not necessary for them to cover the bride's expenses, and clear communication about expectations can help avoid issues.

Bridal Shower

The bridal shower is traditionally hosted and paid for by the MOH and bridesmaids or other close loved ones of the bride, such as family members or future in-laws. While bridesmaids are expected to purchase a gift for the bride, they should also consider giving a small hostess gift to whoever is hosting the shower.

Bachelorette parties

Travel and Accommodations

For destination bachelorette parties, each bridesmaid, including the maid of honor, is expected to cover their own travel expenses, such as flights, car rentals, or gas money. It is considerate to inform the bridal party of the destination well in advance so they can budget and book accordingly. While the bride typically covers her own travel costs, she is expected to pay for her share of the accommodations, such as hotel rooms or Airbnb fees.

Meals and Drinks

When it comes to meals, there are differing opinions. Some sources suggest that bridesmaids should pay for the bride's meals as a token of celebration and appreciation, similar to treating a friend on their birthday. Others suggest that the bridal party should only pay for the bride's meals if there are multiple meals involved during the bachelorette party. In this case, the bridal party can split the cost or take turns treating the bride. As for drinks, it is customary for the bridesmaids to cover the bar tab for the group, including the bride.

Decorations, Favors, and Accessories

The maid of honor and bridesmaids usually take charge of creating a festive atmosphere by purchasing decorations, favors, and accessories. These items can include balloons, party veils, matching robes, slippers, or gift bags. However, it is important to discuss a budget for these items beforehand to ensure everyone is comfortable with the expenditure.

Special Experiences and Group Activities

Any special experiences or group activities, such as spa days, concerts, or excursions, should ideally be considered optional, as they may not fit everyone's budget. If the bride has a particular activity in mind that is costly, it is thoughtful for her to treat the group. Similarly, if the bridal party wants to surprise the bride with an activity, they should cover the cost.

Safety Measures

As a courtesy to her bridal party, the bride should cover the costs of safety measures, such as chartered rides or hired cars, to ensure everyone has a safe and enjoyable time during the bachelorette party celebrations.

Planning and Budgeting

Effective communication about the budget is crucial to ensuring a smooth planning process and a memorable bachelorette party. It is recommended to have open conversations about everyone's financial comfort levels and expectations before finalizing any plans. The maid of honor or a designated planner can use cost-splitting apps to streamline expense management and ensure a seamless payment process.

In conclusion, while there are certain customary expenses that bridesmaids and the bridal party typically cover during bachelorette parties, it is essential to remain mindful of individual budgets and communicate openly to create a memorable and enjoyable experience for everyone, especially the bride.

Bridal shower

Planning a bridal shower can be a fun and exciting event, but it can also be stressful, especially when it comes to finances. The good news is that there are no hard and fast rules about who pays for the bridal shower, and modern couples are increasingly opting for celebrations that are unique to them.

Who Pays for the Bridal Shower?

The bridal shower is traditionally hosted and paid for by the maid of honor, but it has become common for the bridal party, mother of the bride, and even the bride herself to chip in, depending on who can afford what. In some cases, other friends or family members of the bride who are not in the wedding party may also contribute. Ultimately, there is no one-size-fits-all answer, and the cost is typically split among those who can afford to contribute.

The cost of a bridal shower can vary widely depending on the venue, the number of guests, and the food and drinks served. On the upper end of the scale, a bridal shower at a venue can cost around $125 per person, including paper invitations, food, drinks, cake, floral centerpieces, games, and prizes. On the lower end, an at-home event with light refreshments can be as little as $40 per person, including invitations, wine, simple decorations, games, and prizes.

• Have a conversation with the bride to understand her expectations and preferences. She may not want all the traditional activities and expenses associated with a bridal shower.
• Stick to the basics and don't get caught up in trying to create a Pinterest-worthy event. A simple celebration with food, drinks, and a few decorations can be just as enjoyable.
• Consider the size of the venue and the tables. Smaller tables require less decoration and can make the event look more filled and exciting.
• DIY as much as possible. Homemade food and drinks, as well as handmade decorations, can help reduce costs.

While the bridal shower is traditionally hosted and paid for by the maid of honor, bridesmaids are usually expected to contribute financially, especially if they are part of the planning process. Aside from chipping in for the venue, food, decorations, and other expenses, bridesmaids are also expected to purchase a gift for the bride.

Communicating About Finances

It is important to have open and honest communication about finances when planning a bridal shower. Be transparent about what you can afford and don't be afraid to say no if the costs become too high. It is also a good idea to have a clear plan for collecting money and making purchases to avoid confusion or hurt feelings.

Hair and makeup

There is no definitive answer to the question of who pays for the bridesmaids' hair and makeup. It depends on several factors, including the financial situation of the bride and her bridesmaids, the cost of the services, and the expectations of the bridesmaids.

If the bride requires her bridesmaids to have their hair and makeup done professionally, it is generally expected that she will cover the cost. This is especially true if the bride has chosen a specific look or style that is difficult to achieve without professional help. In this case, the bride can either pay for all the hair and makeup expenses herself or split the cost with her bridesmaids.

If the bride is on a tight budget, there are a few compromises that can be made. She can offer to pay for just one service (hair or makeup) and let her bridesmaids DIY the other, or she can cover the cost of the services and ask her bridesmaids to pay for their gratuities. Another option is to ask a talented friend to help with hair and makeup, especially if there is a bridal party member or friend who is skilled in this area. Alternatively, the bride can let her bridesmaids do their own hair and makeup, providing tools and products if needed.

If the bride is requiring her bridesmaids to cover the cost of their hair and makeup, it is important to be respectful of their budgets and give them plenty of advance notice. It is also a good idea to provide a range of options for salons or stylists, including less expensive alternatives.

Ultimately, the decision of who pays for the bridesmaids' hair and makeup should be made early in the planning process, with clear communication between the bride and her bridesmaids to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Travel and accommodation

Traditionally, it is the responsibility of the bridesmaids to cover the costs of their travel and accommodation. This includes travel to and from the wedding, and accommodation the night before and of the wedding. However, some brides may offer to split these costs with their bridesmaids or set up hotel room blocks at discounted rates. It is important to discuss these details a few months in advance to avoid any last-minute surprises.

If the bride wants her bridesmaids to stay with her the night before the wedding, she should be expected to cover those costs. Similarly, if the bridesmaids are paying for their own accommodation, the bride should be flexible about where they stay to avoid obligating them to pay for an expensive room.

When it comes to destination weddings or bachelorette parties, it is important to be mindful of the financial burden on the bridesmaids. While they are typically expected to cover their own travel and lodging, these costs can quickly add up, especially if they are participating in multiple events in different locations.

In some cases, the bride may offer to subsidize the cost of travel and accommodation for her bridesmaids, especially if it is a destination wedding or if the bridesmaids are travelling a long distance. Alternatively, the bridesmaids can also offer to contribute to the bride's travel and accommodation costs as a gift.

Overall, open and honest communication about financial expectations and limitations is key to ensuring that everyone is on the same page and avoiding any resentment or strain on the friendship.

Frequently asked questions